torta y bisexual al mismo tiempo

Source: @kikilayne IG post, 2nd July 2025

@kikilayne: To celebrate the release of #TheOldGuard2 today, here are some throwbacks to 2019 when we were filming the first Old Guard movie.

It's funny to look back on these photos and videos and see how much l've grown. I went right into filming the first movie after completing press for If Beale Street Could Talk and honestly, I was drained and overwhelmed and didn't really understand that I was also struggling with depression; which I wouldn't be able to name until years later. It's weird because the first film was actually a dark and complicated time for me and so reflecting and seeing these moments of joy that I still had means a lot to me.

And waiting this long for the second film to come out has certainly been a test of faith and patience. Trusting that things always happen in God's perfect timing. And learning to have peace with the things that I am actually in control of. Each project teaches me so much about myself and I thank God that no matter the circumstances, I always come out a better version of myself.

So today, I celebrate all that this franchise has taught me and how it has helped me grow as a woman and as an artist. I celebrate that even when this business kicks my ass, that it never takes me under. I celebrate that I am living my dreams and living in my God-given purpose. And I celebrate that I am a whole ass action movie star! I put in a lot of work and sacrifices to get here and I thank God for every opportunity to share my gift and hopefully be a source of inspiration and encouragement to others.

Let's take a moment to appreciate those trees in their natural habitats and range:

Pip: “You should. Drinky post time!”

Me: “It’s gonna make people really mad.”

And, well, many such cases!

HYPERSEXUALITY, PROMISCUITY 

Jorkin it in front of a practical stranger / cruising for gay sex on the job when you could get deported if ur fired lol

Me: can i add “tornado blowjob” as its own bullet point under hypersexuality?, sibling: … it at least deserves a mention, i think 

 Let's self harm…. With Sex! 

Im not sure where to put jorkin it alone just to piss himself off but it sure does need to go somewhere 

openly discusses with therapist that he starting using sex as a distraction from his anger at age 14 in TLJ

RISK TAKING BEHAVIORS

“This is a bad idea.” “what is?” <  boy you literally know…

“My coach's son, back in Russia.” 

“I like trouble.”

“Weren’t you scared of getting caught?” “not really.” 

Saying his room number in front of scott hunter 

“Suck my dick” in that dirty ass bathroom really was quite the move after ghosting shane for six months 

IMPULSIVITY

Kissing Shane on the roof of NHL awards after initial hostility

Kissing Shane at all stars tbh

again i think the entire bathroom conversation is impulsivity as a symptom like i think he maybe wasn't planning to approach Shane in that way but really truly couldnt help himself

EMOTIONAL INTENSITY

Me: you know…. I am going to put “Spent two full years chasing shanes virgin hole after two hookups” under emotional intensity.

Introduced seven new layers of intimacy and then was shocked when his autistic king ran

ELEVATED MOOD, SUDDEN DROP

First draft pick

After giving Shane his first sloppy style BJ 

MHL awards power trip domdrop sex 

IRRITABILITY, HOSTILITY, AGGRESSION, OUTBURSTS

he sat there and watched shane give an interview in french with the subtitles off just to piss himself off 

“Heres fucking view, check it out! Fuck!”

Lashing out at Shane in sochi 

 “no i did not answer your boring text, now will you go?”

Deflection and hostility when shane brings up how he ran

Deflection when Shane tries to admit his feelings for Ilya 

“Thats not what i asked” “what does it fucking matter?” 

“You don't like me” 

Physically attacking Alexei when he mocks svetlana

SOCIAL DISINHIBITION 

My #partyking

Kissing Shane's cheek on the ice at all stars

GRANDIOSITY

“You're an amazing player to watch.” “Yes.”

“Liar told you that- I said fifty.”

his car collection could definitely count under the overspending and risk taking part of bipolar grandiosity

UNCATERGORIZED MANIC SYMPTOMS (could rly put these multiple spots)

Thinking the way to fix his hostile outburst with Shane is through kissing him, showing Shane that he does like him and there is something there, and not realizing that's not what Shane would take away from that behavior. 

MHL Awards me when I’m manic as fuuuuuuck 

He is in the torture nexus for the entire all stars conversation 

WORTHLESSNESS, GUILT

“Do you even like it there?” “What difference does it make?”

Complete dissociation as Shane leaves the Vegas hotel room, cigarette isn't even lit

“Sorry” when shane notices him crying. 

“I want more, Ilya, more more more. And I have nothing for the people.”

“They look at me and see an enemy.”

“It kills me that he took care of our father and I didn't."

“He will never forgive me for any of it. For existing.” 

HOPELESSNESS, PESSIMISM

At the club looking at read receipts just to make himself feel bad 

He really did just sit there watching Shane's cottage video looking like he was going to kill himself over it 

Reading tweets about shane and rose just to piss himself off

“He's terrible. It makes me terrible back.” 

LOSS OF INTEREST IN THINGS ONCE ENJOYED 

Ilya refusing to sleep with Sasha being both a symptom of depression as well the obvious sign of his growing affection for Shane. 

SUICIDALITY

Do I think Ilya would've jumped off that roof? No. unless he couldn't help it, of course

openly discusses that he knows his depression dips into suicidality with Shane in TLJ

SHANES AUTISTIC PERSPECTIVE

Shane clearly confused by Ilya's reaction on the roof at the NHL awards, both at his hostility and immediate shift into risk taking impulsivity 

Shane is confused and frustrated by Ilya shutting him out in Sochi, Ilya misreading the situation as to what Shane is there for as he thinks Shane is mirroring his own behavior even though Shane is just trying to reach out and check on him. 

“What the fuck do you actually want from me???” Shane is very upset and frustrated with Ilya's complete tone shift from their first time, to Sochi, to the MHL awards. 

Shane is happy then immediately looks around to gauge the crowds reaction after ilya kisses him at All Stars in Tampa, overly aware of how risky it is for ilya to have done that

They are in the exact same situation here. Except that Shane was allowed the opportunity to come out as gay on his own terms to his entire team and Ilya has only come out to three people (Svetlana, Galina and Troy).

Both of them were planning on coming out publicly in a few months.

Both of them expressed the idea that they WANTED to come out. (People are determined to ignore Shane's stated desire to come out and idk why)

And yet all I see about this scene is "Why wasn't Ilya comforting Shane more" wtf? How about why wasn't Shane comforting Ilya more? They are in the same situation!

Both of them are in shock! Neither of them know what to do!

This is like a weird combination of infantalizing Shane while also being weird and biphobic towards Ilya. Like what being outed isn't traumatizing when you are bi? It's your job by default to be the comforting partner when you're the top? What the hell are we talking about?

what the fuck

that thing is eldritch

acquired a dark mode version just to see what it’d look like. oh my god. this map is gorgeous

There’s other instances of people randomly punching slaves that they didn’t even know because they got in their way or something. This was just normal behavior.

And slaves didn’t rebel en masse because if even one slave committed an act of violent rebellion it was common practice to kill every slave and former slave in the household.

People only took notice for posterity when these mass executions got into the hundreds of people. One of the few recorded for the history books is of over 400 people being killed because one guy stabbed his enslaver.

Okay, I want to talk about this line from Heated Rivalry, chapter one. So, the expectation that Ilya would "burst onto the world stage" has been lingering since he was twelve.

You know what else happened when he was twelve? Oh, yeah, only the most traumatic event of his life.

There is no part of me that believes this to be coincidental.

First of all, bursting onto "the world stage" seems to suggest to me that Ilya has been aiming to leave Russia to play for the NHL. Sure, there are other countries that play in the KHL and, potentially, this is a limited reading of the line, brought on by my Western upbringing. But Rachel Reid is also raised in the West and I feel like that is the intended implication of the line.

Now, I don't actually remember whether his father's expectation that Ilya would play in the KHL is canon or whether that's a piece of fanon that's so widely circulated that I've absorbed it as truth. It's entirely possible that the expectation that 2009 would be Ilya's year is an external once, placed onto him by his father. However, I actually don't find that as interesting as the alternative.