mostly void, partially stars

maybe putting some awesome sauce on this nothing burger will do the trick

White people will say they used to cry themselves to sleep every night because they felt so guilty about being from a colonial country and then make ~edgy~ jokes that are blatantly racist, including about their country's colonialism, in the same breath

Like neither of those are helpful or reasonable responses but the combination is just so fucking. Performative. Actually sickening

I don't know if it's just because these are coworkers and not people I'm choosing to spend time with on a personal level but literally I don't think I've ever witnessed such frequent racist "jokes" (and some not jokes) from a group of white people who clearly believe themselves to be Good People who are Not Racist

White people will talk about how they wish they spoke "broken Jamaican English" because it just sounds "so sick" and they "wish their dad was Caribbean" and say wagwan because they think it sounds funny

White people will say the angriest they've ever been about racism is when a single child wrote the n word on a table (and not, yknow, the myriad of atrocities committed against black people) and then say they're so upset because they "just really love black culture"

also i love when tv shows signify that a new scene is immediately post-sex by cutting to a shot of two characters falling face-up into bed next to each other. it always makes me imagine that for them, sex must have taken the form of levitating supine above the mattress shoulder-to-shoulder, staring at the ceiling & not touching or acknowledging each other

i don't care what anyone says i love it when a historical novel slides in a historical figure all casual. every single time i am pointing yelling screaming cheering like YOU!!!!! I KNOW YOU!!!!!! FROM HISTORY

why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer

I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

I hear that if you're a Disney Executive and you generate enough shareholder value in one quarter, the Board of Directors let you facefuck Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen head

they're executing the count from sesame street for violating the masquerade

my dead wife. the ad free internet

pussy understander so they call me cliterate

It's him, Julius xi/xir

some of y’all bout to be real mad at me. but it must be said. some of the shit u call corny/cringy is actually just genuine/cute/sweet and y’all r just afraid of expressing any type of positive emotion

tumblr user teaching fire safety: she stop on my drop till i roll

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"