watch the new star dance upon the night sky

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

There is,,, a lobster. On the way

There is a lobster somewhere in the facility but we don’t know where

This is not a joke btw I was supposed to receive and acclimate a lobster today but I waited around in the lobby for an hour before finding out that the Lobster Deliverer went around back and gave the lobster to the aquarist and he went out on a diving trip without telling anyone where he put the lobster. There is literally a lobster here somewhere and we can’t find it. Lobster location unknown.

Update he put it in one of the lobster traps tied to the pier. Which is fine, that’s where it was gonna go anyway until we set up its display, but I would’ve preferred to acclimate it before plopping it into the ocean. But the hooligan has been contained. There will be no surprise lobster attacks today.

Oh my god happy anniversary to that time we misplaced Neptune!!!!

terrifying when you watch a movie or a show or whatever & youre like that was fun but it felt a little redundant they didnt need to hammer the point home that much & then you go online & theres thousands of people going that was so weird i did not get it what did that mean google.com ending explained please?

i hate the "we should only have queer actors playing queer characters" argument for several reasons. but what annoys me the most is that people who argue this straight up don't realize that it's illegal to ask someone about their sexuality in relation to a job interview. like an audition. i don't think breaking anti-discrimination laws to screen people's sexualities to determine their employment is the woke take you think it is.

and just. setting that aside. if you're saying "we should only have queer actors playing queer characters" you're saying that queer people must be publicly out to play a queer character. even if that actor and that character have the same sexuality. that actor has to disclose that to the whole world. again. i don't think demanding queer people to out themselves in order to engage with a queer acting role is doing anyone any good.

head in hands. it's acting. it's playing make believe. i don't care if the actress playing a lesbian character has kissed a woman before. i care if she's good at pretending she has.

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

i love clicking on somebody’s ao3 profile and seeing the most nonsensical collection of fandoms. like yess let's live a thousand lifetimes

I think the only true conclusion one could ever draw about Sabrina carpenter from her music is that she has a kinda weird relationship with gender, where she can never truly decide if being a woman is a good & powerful thing or a bad & weakening thing, and she can never decide if that’s her own fault or the fault of the male society in which she lives. this is not a criticism to be clear: that seems like a very normal way to engage with the world to me. it’s just funny to me that the seemingly most personally revealing aspect of her music is the way she seems to have no idea how to live as a straight woman. I can’t relate to this at all because I am not a straight woman, but man does it seem accurate to the experiences of straight women that I know. Straight women sound off. If you’re out there. Straight women can you hear me? Is it that me espresso?

yeah i mean i've been saying this for months (sorry OP to jump on your post, it just aligns with something i've been trying to get across for a while now) but the overt, on-purpose heteropessimism of her music in combination with her vintage drag queen aesthetic and mid-century movie inspired concert visuals are all actually working together to create really interesting commentary on the current state of heterosexual womanhood. she's a lot smarter than most people give her credit for and this is all on purpose. i think a lot of people tend to assume that female artists arrive at a place of satirical or otherwise layered social commentary by accident and it's just something they're reading into it because they're smarter than the actual artist, not that it's ever something they put into the art while they were making it... but like, if you pay attention to everything she's doing and the way she presents herself when she's off-duty as opposed to in performance mode, she isn't Doing Hyperfemininity 24/7. her stage presentation is one of exaggerated hyperfeminine aesthetic performance because it's part of her commentary on how the experience of straight womanhood is basically doing 200% for men who give maybe 15% at best. she's got a whole song basically lamenting the fact that she is unfortunately a straight woman who craves dick in a world where men are fucking terrible with no real motivation to change!