Vale Todo

Fog… God’s vape

That’s kind of a thing you’d not need to do if you were… you know… human…

bro my dad “went to dinner” at my favorite mexican restaraunt and said he’d bring me home a burrito and it’s fucking 9pm

my dad is having an affair

dad brought me the promised burrito just now so here’s my obligatory post exonerating him from infedelity

that burrito was fantastic. i’m inclined to think my dad has never had sex in his life

forgive me father for I have sinned in all the coolest and most glamorous ways possible

What if i name the roomba dildo bongins

borderline but acceptable

why’s this site so weird about horses? they’re just horses.

Are you sure

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

This was like reading a Lemony Snicketts book.

Kindly what the fuck is this