The Only Good Girl This Side of the Moon

the pagan origins of the fourth of july

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

if i believe in myself hard enough i can drink all of the wine eat all of the meat and despoil all of the women after killing all of the men

i'm struggling when i would much rather be snuggling

I've just manipulated you using dark psychology 😈

love wearing all black in public i hope no large gaseous heat emitting orb in the sky comes along and makes my day worse

holy shit have you evver tried this new substance called album in order

If soft thighs are not meant for your vampire masters to bite them then why do I have two of them?

ive noticed u made the common mistake of stoppijg petting me so i will whine and paw ur paw until u realize this mistake its ok its a common mistake here let me lay on u to makr it easier

kitties will be like "in case you forgot: hello"

up at 1 AM inventing new ways to want and want and want and want and

i dont think straight people should be allowed to do "enemies to lovers" i think if a man is your enemy you need to trust that you were correct the first time and slay him in battle