Ace but in a very horny way

This post has no time limit ask me whatever whenever

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

...oh yeah, right. Pride banner thing. Hold on.

...oh yeah, right. Pride banner thing. Hold on.

@commodityproduction

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

i'd make a joke about "let the HUSBAND giggle under the covers and tell HIS WIFE to put that camera away before dying before HIS WIFE'S story starts" but lets be real he'd still get more fanart

The best thing about tumblr is you can just make a criticism of a very specific person completely unprompted and then that person will appear as if summoned in your notes to prove your point for you.

the concept of a site that doesn't even allow porn requiring age verification for mature content. you gotta give us your legal id or else we'll hide random posts that were incorrectly flagged from you