Let there be random!

Why the fuck is it 8:00 PM?

Yeah.

Is it bc I’ve already hit the “Oh shit” wall and know damn well that moving’s gonna suck?

okay

I've been in a wheelchair for years now, right? Well, as happens sometimes, I got a new bus driver this morning. They were struggling and nervous about lining up the ramp, which is perfectly normal. I can be patient about that and offer some calm reassurance.

What is normalized and not okay is the asshole outside insisting that the ramp placement is wrong and said driver listening to him after I've said it's fine. Said asshole continued nitpicking for another 10 minutes, then insisted they'd have to help me off.

Important to note:

1. I'm in a motorized chair and didn't need help getting on

2. I fucking said multiple times that I did not need, nor want him to touch me

I still kept getting talked over until I put my foot down about getting off the damn bus, and guess what? Everything was fine, just like I said.

Pros: legs to the rescue.

Cons: I’d forgotten handles make people forget every word and scrap of manners they’ve ever learned.

Do not touch a wheelchair without asking—EVER.

The only reason I have very few injuries from people “helping” is bc I literally have boots on the ground. That didn’t stop someone from spraining my ankle just now, but honestly? Best case scenario.

This latest incident is brought to you by a woman pushing my chair when my left caster got stuck in the elevator. While I appreciate the intent, I need folks to consider the following:

If someone’s pants were caught on a thorn bush, would you touch them without asking?

NO.

Same principle applies to wheelchairs (and all mobility aides).

In order to free my caster, all I had to do was pop a wheelie, then push forward. This woman pushing me unexpectedly fucked that up. Let me translate this into abled:

She silently grabbed my belt and jerked me into the thorn bush.

This nearly broke my fingers, but if my legs didn’t work at all? I would’ve been thrown from my wheelchair, headfirst, into our very small elevators. Even if I’d tried to catch myself, my wrists would’ve disassembled on impact.

Something important to note about wheelchair physics:

If we are tipped forward, or thrown from our chairs, our heads will probably hit whatever’s one torso away and at/just below chin height.

In my case, that would’ve meant my eye socket would hit those flat, metal handles most people never think of. Mind you, ours aren’t flush with the wall either.

Did I mention that my neck just naturally falls apart in slow motion? Cause yeah, it does that.

To top off this shit sundae, she dinged my already wobbly left brake. It’s well and truly shot now.

If anybody would like to chip in on what is now the brake repair/jewelry tools fund, that’d be fucking swell.

Note: I don’t want your fucking money if you have to do math. I do, however, want your reblogs regardless.

Think of all the wheelchair users in the world.

Think of your loved ones.

I can’t see the back of my head to fix this. [1]

I called the fam to see if anyone could come save me multiple times, but only mom picked up. She had sibling 6.8 today, and the teenager demanded to see the carnage. One eternity later, the pic finally sent. The following is a series of rapid fire quotes delivered by a typically quiet 13 y.o. boy:

“Damn. You got Stevie wondering if your barber takes cancellations.”

“It’s like Mt. Rushmore’s evil twin.”

I reminded him it’s already evil.

“Well that valley’s still low enough to keep you from going outside.”

I joked about how I couldn’t look straight during Pride.

“That tracks. Even James Charles is straighter than your hairline.”

“It’s like the parade went left, right, left, right, left, right, left all over the back of your head.”

I told him not to make me walk over there.

“Bruh. I’m not gonna make a wheelchair joke, but there’s no fading your way out of this. The clippers already won.”

“If it makes you feel better, every Black boy has a Little Bill phase. You should just have yours at 30. Like, right now. Today.”

While I laughed the entire time, I also marked his 18th birthday on the calendar. I might not hit kids, but I can hold a grudge.

If you enjoyed my pain, please feel free to hit me up on Ko-Fi. Proceeds will go towards unfucking my hairline, prepaying bail for the fight with this gremlin, and/or paying to repair the Gaymobile (my wheelchair).

in aotearoa, june isn’t our pride, it’s theirs. marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that “you owe your rights to Black trans women” is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) Māori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.

But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa don’t even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we don’t.

our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1986. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears