Don't Quote Me On That

SARAAAAAHHHHHH TOMMMMMM IM ON MY WAYYYYYYY

Lasers have a lot of uses! Measuring things, heating things, cutting things, entertaining cats, particle physics. Lasers are pretty cool. Very versatile, very useful, potential to be very powerful.

Someone shows up one day and says "I have developed a never before seen technology! I call it a Death Star."

And it's a 3.4mW laser. Well no, we haven't seen this exact size of laser much since that's not really standard, but that's a bit of a misnomer, and I wouldn't call it new -

"HOLY SHIT GUYS! This Death Star is so entertaining! My cat loves it and it has such a nice color!" The Death Star becomes a viral novelty, and is mildly entertaining, as laser pointers often are.

Somehow, seemingly overnight, this leads to mania. "Lets stick lasers in EVERYTHING! The public loves them!"

More companies make 3.4mW lasers to jump on the bandwagon. Everyone that makes anything vaguely mechanical starts sticking lasers into their designs.

Everyone is calling them Death Stars. Any time there is a "Death Star innovation", it is just that they made a bigger laser.

Ford's next truck comes out and it has "Death Star integrated headlights", where they have just stuck giant lasers in place of their previously functional headlights.

An electric toothbrush is now "Powered by Death Stars" and shoots a laser at the tooth its cleaning. You think that maybe this could have actual applications as a sanitizing device if you're being generous, but when you actually look at the product, its laser has no purpose but to point at the tooth and drain the battery.

Mechanical products across the board get noticeably worse as everyone starts stuffing lasers in places where lasers have no right to be.

The lamp business gets in on it. "Here's a Death Star powered lamp!" These guys haven't even tried to stick a laser in their damn lamps. They've just started calling their light bulbs Death Stars and hoped you bought it before you could tell the difference. You at least appreciate that they haven't ruined their lamp about it.

Death Stars are lauded as the solution to all the world's problems. If it's not working, you should stick a laser in it! That'll fix it, everyone says. Once in a blue moon, it's even true! Weather prediction is really good now. But most things are garbage. Like "Death Star powered washing machines". What the fuck does that even mean?

Meanwhile, since all functioning mechanisms are being replaced with lasers, problems start showing up. All mirrors now cost $1000+ dollars, because the whole supply is being used up to make more lasers. The earth heats up, because everyone's blasting lasers at everything. People keep going blind, on account of all the lasers.

You, in fact, study optical mechanics. You know what a laser is, and how it works, and that it was invented many years before any of this nonsense actually started. People keep asking you about Death Stars, since surely you must know so much about them.

You explain that this is not really what lasers are for, except you have to call them Death Stars now, and that they're causing a lot of harm, so you don't like them much.

"Oh, but they're still such new tech!" they reply. "They'll figure out how to make Death Stars that don't burn your eyes out soon, and then it won't be an issue anymore!"

Somewhere, deep and buried, you remember lasers being used in particle accelerators, or in telescopes, or in laser cutters, or funny cat videos. They are, in fact, still interesting. Still cool.

But by this point they have replaced roads with "Death Star Powered Pathways", which are just laser pointers propped up on tooth picks pointing vaguely through the forests.

And you think you are going mad.

And they are still just FUCKING LASERS.

Headcanon: Duke glows when he feels strong emotions and Ace and Jackson are not prepared for that.

It's a crime that they haven't made friends yet. They all need friends with positive energy because their lives are awful.

Besides being the "black" kids in a white family, and the whole fandom only remembering them for that, it's pretty messed up.

Them: I have a personality with virtues and flaws, I have gone through traumas and good times, I have a totally valid vision of life and my external factors are an impact on my history and personality, in addition to being aware of the society in which I live.

Fandom: Hey! The black kids!

BAM! Duke, Ace, and Tanya! Signal, Kid Flash, and Power Girl!

Ace and Tanya already showed in Deathstroke Rebirth that they can have a good chemistry, and Duke was literally made to be part of a community.

MAKE THEM A TRIO!

I'm not kidding when I say I'd sell a kidney for that.

Here's me trying to interpret how Danny's hazmat suit would look like if it were more realistic, based on my experience with biohazard PPE.

Anti-blackness in the indie scene is a serious issue and we should always call it out even if it seems like a "nothing-burger," but at the same time you should always uplift and support black indie creators regardless. Solely bringing them up when some popular indie creator gets called out for racism will only lead them to being forgotten when the controversy dims down and everyone moves on to something else.

@dukethomas-week