Silco turns, pressing his face into Vander’s chest as a storm howls inside him. Vander strokes his back.
“You can ask me to hold you, birdie,” he murmurs. “I won’t turn you away.”
“It’s too hard.” Silco’s voice is choked.
Vander hums and dips his fingers beneath Silco’s collar, massaging the back of his neck. Silco shudders, squeezing at his thick sides.
“I always want to hold you,” Vander says, like a confession. “Is it alright when I reach out and touch you?”
Silco nods against his chest.
“And you’ll tell me if you want me to leave you alone,” Vander prompts.
“I’m quite capable of being mean to you.” Silco tries to lilt his voice with irony, but he sounds weak and quavery.
“It’s not being mean,” Vander insists. “Please be honest with me if you don’t want something. You can always turn me down. I want to be close to you, in whatever way you want.”
Silco shudders against him, tension rippling through his torso and limbs. Vander holds him tighter, wrapping their legs together and squeezing his sides. Eventually, Silco’s trembling slows and his tension releases, his muscles going loose and pliant. Vander nuzzles at his temple.
After a long moment Silco speaks.
“My safeword shall be ‘Zaun,’” he says languidly.
“That’s a terrible safeword,” Vander protests. Silco can hear the smile in his voice. “You say it all the time! You should pick something you wouldn’t normally say, like ‘eucalyptus,’ or something.”
“My safeword shall be, ‘Leave me alone, you distracting oaf, I’m trying to work and you’re talking to me about eucalyptus.’”
Vander laughs. Silco feels it vibrate through his chest and belly. His breath releases in a gasp.
“I love you,” Vander says against his temple.
“...’love you,” Silco murmurs.
Instigator(s) on AO3 - Chapter 15: Love is our freedom