dubious creature

It's Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest. just how Every day of my life will be Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest, on account of how I am Never Ever Going There.

looking at jobs is like vintage toothpick sorter entry level immediate start ..... wow maybe I could be a vintage toothpick sorter.... *starts to envision a future where I am deeply involved in vintage toothpick sorting* *scrolls down* "5 years vintage toothpick sorting required Minimum!" *my dreams of vintage toothpick sorting dissolve into dust"

im joining the sleep war on the side of bed and blanky

quit laying solitary eggs with penniless dregs and come lay healthy clutches with a wealthy duchess

Personally I think I'm shockingly normal for someone who has spent every day on the internet since they were 12

we need to bring back old school tumblr communication and im so serious. sending an ask to a mutual just to say hello. seeing three different asks in your inbox all asking how your dentist appointment went. seeing a post you think one of your mutuals would enjoy and tagging them/sending it to them in the dms. nowadays its just silently liking a post or (if youre feeling extreme) replying under posts. WHAT HAPPENED TO US!! we used to be a proper community!!!! #LetsBringWhimsyBack

reblog if you want ppl to send you random lil' asks

For fucks sake I'm dying here i need a community of weird bitches

now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck

every time i see steven universe discourse i think “what if people were this intensely analytical about My Gym Partners a Monkey”

my url is better than yours

youre my shadow self and i need to kill you