The Eternal Sleeper

(i attempt the trick where the peasant leans down and kisses the ring off the nobleman's finger) (my mouth is a distinct square shape when i stand back up) yore majethty

#Please little bird

I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

i'm literally begging people to relearn how to use earbuds and headphones. i don't wanna hear your fucking tiktok while im waiting for my flight.

Running ActLikePeople.Exe is fucking EXHAUSTING, let alone ActLikePeopleExpect.

Fuck I hate this shit

I cannot emphasize enough how much the European Union legal minimum for vacations is 5 weeks.