the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

when the song tackles you to the ground and starts beating the ever loving shit out of you

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around

the way i feel about retirement is similar to how suicidal teenagers feel about getting to 25

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed

DYKE UP OR DIE. #PRIDEMONTH.

touch water (touch grass for people who like swimming)

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance