obsessed with this interaction where someone has apparently been living with the sincere belief that misha collins threw the shoe at bush

if i look back, i am lost

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@dyernoga
obsessed with this interaction where someone has apparently been living with the sincere belief that misha collins threw the shoe at bush

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one thing i hate about english is your open compound words. what do you mean it's a light switch and not a lightswitch or a water bottle instead of a waterbottle. get real
why won't you let your words frot.
I will never take singing lessons. I love being dogshit and ass at karaoke. I love being the person that makes everybody go "Oh I can't be worse than THAT" and working up the nerve to sing. I love being like "C'mon, I'll sing with you," and then deliberately singing loud as all fuck until the other person dueting with me starts singing a little louder too because they feel comfortable knowing I'll sing over them. I love being ass at karaoke I never wanna be good at karaoke, that's for other people I know my role
From a small distance I thought the waitress wrote I hate you on our bill and I frowned at it so overtly that my friend was like aww I can get the whole thing if you want
I never really considered that a rabbit would care for a scarab one way or the other. Didn't think a rabbit could formulate an opinion on the scarab at all
She looks way more aware of the scarab than I thought she could be tbqh

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Every fifth TGCF textpost: people are wrong about the Character
Every fifth MDZS textpost: nobody understands the Themes
Every fifth SVSSS textpost: what if Shen Yuan transmigrated into a pregnant flea
this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this
im never leaving this hellsite
i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone
FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
Time flys like an arrow but fruit flies🪰 like a banana🍌
please i need him to die on 4th of july gaudy as fuck 'america 250' celebration that would be the funniest thing ever i wouldn't even bitch about the fireworks. i wouldn't even do that.
Important question
Fuck icemaker, marry in-unit laundry, kill dishwasher
Fuck in-unit laundry, marry icemaker, kill dishwasher
Fuck dishwasher, marry in-unit laundry, kill icemaker
Fuck in-unit laundry, marry dishwasher, kill icemaker
Fuck dishwasher, marry icemaker, kill in-unit laundry

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one of my favourite human songs-and-dances is when someone notices someone else is lying and, for no particular reason besides love of the game, helps them get away with the lie without ever explicitly acknowledging they noticed. nightmare social animals.
dw if I die I will still haunt the narrative
I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT
(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store
i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me
Luke Skywalker put away his targeting computer to destroy the Death Star so I don't need AI to help me write an email.
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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