chickengod

I just got an ad for weight loss/calorie counting where you take pictures of your food and the app tracks the amount of calories you’re consuming and the song they chose to play is prom queen by beach bunny, specifically the lyrics “if I get more pretty do you think he will like me?” followed by “shut up, count your calories, I never looked good in mom jeans.” and the rest of the chorus after that which is just so incredibly evil i think.

Statistically speaking I have more or less never seen a movie in my life

Flubber?

I've never seen flubber.

Asshole

Testing something: who are your favorite canon trans women in fiction?

hello my name is Stray Hair snd my big dream is to play the itsy bitsy spider on broadway. doyou mind if i practice on the side of your head.

ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them 😅 so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

“Oh well I’m good at Connect Four, so we’ll have to see” is the last thing these poor messes say before catching this loss streak

they're saying that Thursday will be falling on a Thursday this week. the rare double Thursday phenomenon

type prevs url with your eyes closed in the tags

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?