edenwolfie • they/them • 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
Fanfic AO3 : edenwolfie Fandoms : Baldur's Gate 3 | TGCF | MDZS | Star Wars Fic Updates : #edenwolfie writes
Fanart Tumblr : @lumiink
RMH
d e v o n
noise dept.

Janaina Medeiros
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

titsay

shark vs the universe

pixel skylines
occasionally subtle
we're not kids anymore.


ellievsbear

DEAR READER
Stranger Things

Discoholic 🪩
h

JBB: An Artblog!
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Andulka
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@edenwolfie
edenwolfie • they/them • 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
Fanfic AO3 : edenwolfie Fandoms : Baldur's Gate 3 | TGCF | MDZS | Star Wars Fic Updates : #edenwolfie writes
Fanart Tumblr : @lumiink

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Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.
I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."
As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.
Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.
A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.
As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"
Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.
You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.
It was not.
It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.
And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.
This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.
After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.
None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.
With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.
Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.
"Phyllis," said he.
The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.
"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"
Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.
Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.
Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."
Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.
i must stress that he's never seen the original comic. My mother simply showed him the shorthand symbol and he memorized it. As far as he is aware this is just a fucking hieroglyph that deals instant psychic damage to everyone under the age of 30
I know I'm watching the voice actor D&D show but sometimes you get hit by the voice acting and you're just like Robbie Daymond why did you choose to HURT ME PERSONALLY.
auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

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Team Theater: major spiritual moment, a performance that has literally altered the outcome of souls trapped by the bars of a bloodied past, finally given rest
Team Villa: a family drama, intrigue and disorder hiding deep secrets of the angels and a religion that threatens lives
Team Manor:
I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of why Primus would bother to kill a random woodsman’s wife and child. Big boy Tachonis has a lot of hastily planned shit to do, so she must have been important for him to go out of his way, for whatever reason.
And then I think about how Kattigan felt this relationship was important enough for him to choose to leave the falconer’s rebellion and the torn banner and go far away (I’m reasonably sure that’s been confirmed as the reason he left, but correct me if I’m wrong)
Simultaneously, I think about how Alex/Occtis refuses to talk about his mother, and we didn’t see her in the Golden Orchard flashback with the rest of house Tachonis after the end of the rebellion, so she was likely gone before then
If there’s one thing Primus can’t abide by, it’s people he believes should be under his control slipping from his grasp, especially so if it has something to do with the lowest begger and most mud-caked simpleton
Some people look better with less clothes and some of us were born with the painful absence of a Soviet era military winter overcoat
It deeply saddens me that "pdf file" has become slang for pedo. Don't you dare disrespect my wife the beautiful portable document format ever again
and to the children in the notes saying we need this fucking baby talk to get around censorship online; there's been no credible evidence that any site other that YouTube (which will only demonetize your video, ftr) will actually censor or hide content that include words like rape, pedophile, gun, terrorist, etc. etc. and even if we take as a given they were (which, again, they are not), do not fucking comply in advance, you absolute fucking coward. and ESPECIALLY do not comply by altering your real life fucking vocabulary. don't let the technocrats dictate what words you say holy fucking shit dude!!!!!!!!!!!!

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house halovar, aka insane women depot
Luke Skywalker put away his targeting computer to destroy the Death Star so I don't need AI to help me write an email.
I really don’t like when a book advertises itself as fantasy or scifi with maybe some romance on the side and then it turns out to just be a romance with some fantasy or scifi wallpaper. Fine if you wanna read that but I don’t. Stop having sex and kill the dragon already. This is false advertising.
“I want to write a fic about this but I don’t think anybody will be interested in it” ummm hello excuse me ma’am what do you mean you don’t think anybody will be interested in it??? YOU. YOU ARE INTERESTED IN IT???? write it because YOU are interested in it and YOU want to write about it. fanfic writing should always be first and foremost about YOUR enjoyment, not other people’s.
doctor who is the greatest tv show ever made
I was waiting for the punchline and it didn’t disappoint

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The Sundered Houses gathering according to the tables: They're planning something that might put the entire city in danger! They have a ritual and there's going to be casualties and sacrifices! We need to be ready for complete fallout!
The Sundered Houses gathering in reality: Hey, Primus? This is an intervention. What the fuck are you and your family doing?
someone should make a list