local menace

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

"well i like this post but i'm worried my followers might not" fuck your followers. The entire point of tumblr is to cause irreparable psychic damage to your followers. We are locked in mortal combat on the astral plane. You must win. You Must Win. You Must Destroy Them.

“Do you ship...” Buddy I will ship almost anything if I think about it too long. I love love and situations

Asdfghjkl her perfectly straight face and even tone throughout should win an AWARD

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette

Legal Eagle asking "are you covered to have an open flame in the studio?" and a producer worriedly yelling "we're not!" as Ally goes to light a bong they filled with real whiskey is maybe the hardest I have ever laughed at an episode of Game Changer.

#my LIEGE#Ally said ‘fuck winning I wanna smoke in front of I think literally ALL of my bosses’#based

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

god but imagine being the day manager of that mustafarian lava factory. walk into work one day your computers are all fucked up, half of your rig is gone and one room is just full of dead bodies

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral