I have a mouth, but I still must scream

Hello, this is like my journal but think of this post as like the cover aka I am going to tell you a little bit about behavior and rule and then we'// get to it.

Be kind to others. Aka don't have something good to say, don't say it. You didn't pay for this and any entertainment you're getting out of it is free so don't be rude to your waitress or else you might find an industrial sledge hammer finding it's way to your privates quicker than you would like

This is a pure text post Tumblr. No art will be posted here, no fanfiction will be hanging from my door, and there will be no smut. If you're looking for horny go to a fandom tag, you can't miss it.

Respect my anonymity. If you think you've cracked the code and found me out keep your lips shut. Trying to guess my identity will have me at best ignore you for a few days and at worst (you do it every time I post) get you blocked.

General house keeping. There will be trigger warnings on post and below the cut will be the triggering material ykyk. I am okay if you reblog my post, honestly don't really know why you would but that is okay with me. Don't put tags that don't fit like robot or something and try to not overrun me with comments just because I have asks off.

So Conquest's speech the one that starts with "I am so lonely." It's written so well, it is such an awsome moment, chills.

Now, imagine if a Fae villian said it. Think about a Fae, boot in your face, wings on proud display, saying "[Their name]... I don't even get a real name..." Think about them saying that to their nemsis and then asking "So, can I have your name when you die?" Or just asking for their name in general afterwards.

Maybe if the Fae villain dies at some point they could say something along the lines of "I always wanted a name like yours" or "I've wanted your name for so long... such a shame mine will have to be engraved on a tombstone instead."

I think a part of the reason we aren't able to get computers with human level sapients is because we aren't mimicking the human chemical system. In our brain there is dopamine, serotonin, and other happy inducing chemicals but also in your brain there is acetylcholine which you use to learn and glutamate which you use to memorize and oxytocin.

And the main reason we've been able to get machines to pattern recognize but not truly create from original experiences is because we just been electrocuting rocks. That is half the battle. Electrical signaling is half the human process, the other half is the chemicals or the pain signals that get sent out due to that.

I am will be in active danger for the next four years or more of my life. My boyfriend will be in danger.

And I can't just pack it under some fucking rug can kick it into the basement of my brain.

I might have to marry my boyfriend next month for citizenship to another country and we might have to move there once this (school) year is over.

And what is worse is I can't help but think about how my parents probably voted. About the fact they probably voted third party or Republic about how my grandparents voted.

TW BELOW: suicide

Man if I am type one diabetic there must be a me that not in the multiverse...

Wait, its larger than that, there would be infinite of them as there are an infinite amount of timelines, infinite of me.

There is infinite me's that are me, there are infinite me's that are one inch different, me's that got that relationship to stay, me's that lost the one I have right now. There are infinite everyelse that are just slightly different, and infinite that are just the same to the second.

There are infinite me's that chose to live, and infinite me's that chose to take their own lives, and infinite me's that never got to chose, and infinite me's who never existed in the first place.

There are infinite me's that are you, there are infinite you's that are me.There are infinite her's that are you, infinite you's that are me, and infinte me's that are her. Maybe we should all be a little kinder to eachother because in another universe we are each other.

But if in some other universe I am you and you are me, where do you end and I begin. What makes a person? Their memories, those can be lost. Their personality, will change. Their relationships, will shift. Their perspective, is already mine in a different universe. Maybe, we are all the same person in the beginning, before we can measure personality, as cells that can barely think, but as soon as the lights come on we all split. There are an infinite me, and there are an infinite you.

So maybe, I am not special. However, being me, right here, right now, behind this keyboard, in this mind, as these chemical responses means I had such small odds to exist in this place that I should cherish it for the ones who didn't make it.

For the me's that found the diagnosis too painful, for the me's that weren't born, for the me's who were killed, for the me's who's you, for the me's that are beyond, for the me's who are before.