i think angels surround ya

anyone else really paranoid that everything has hidden cameras or just me

in the future humans will have something called "sinus button " and pressing it will immediately drain your sinuses of all fluid so that it can be filled with other things like rocks, webs, paint, tar, freef (new fluid that will be so important in that time) and also dr papper

UNPOPULAR OPINION: A lot of "mental health issues" disappear when bills are paid, rent is secure, and the fridge is full. Peace is expensive. And pretending money doesn't affect mental health is privilege.

theyre keeping mitch mcconnell on life support en route to orlando so he can be declared legally dead at disney world

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

“i have of late lost all my mirth” should be a valid reason not to come in to work

"you can jack off you can eat grapes all else banned" is kind of the post of the summer because literally wtf else are you supposed to do once it’s 30°C outside

My work says work and I'd rather eat grapes

I was so crazy back then (1 hour ago)

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

slaves who cannot accept that they exist in the same world as transsexuals and that they aren't allowed to harm transsexuals get chained up and stored in the basement until it is time for them to be used. if they really really cannot accept that they aren't allowed to continue terfing, they will be lobotomized and blinded to protect them from having to see transsexuals.

DUGFHSDKG$5UGFSD??????

Can you please just have an ounce of shrimpathy?