From The Mind Of Dr. Prof. James

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

Are YOU gonna let THE GOVERNMENT tell YOU what YOUR GENDER is? That doesn't sound like Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness to me! PROTECT your individual FREEDOMS and call your senator: we want the GOVERNMENT to stay OUT OF OUR PANTS! GENDER FREEDOM NOW!

Two men in your neighborhood are married... to EACH OTHER? Congratulate them for exercising their AMERICAN RIGHT to follow the footsteps of our FOUNDING FATHERS! They've got a fully AMERICAN spirit of FREEDOM and REBELLION! GOD BLESS THE USA.

Your coworker has a different RELIGION from yours? Well, that's just INTERESTING and you should talk about it on your UNION-APPROVED LUNCH BREAK. The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA was FOUNDED on Freedom of Religion and ANYONE should be allowed to seek the AMERICAN DREAM!

You think someone might be in this GREAT country ILLEGALLY? NO YOU DON'T! No one is in this country illegally! The minute anyone steps on our SOVEREIGN SOIL they're your FELLOW AMERICAN and where they come from is NO ONES BUSINESS.

it's funny yeah, but guys this is actually how you reach the people who prefer these terms to frame all things Good and Correct.

@the-quasar-hero

I got scared when she mentioned the two plastic chairs facing each other 😥

We got a mole 😂

do you guys remember when we googled something and we would get results that were actually related to the things we searched

I do really love it when women write graphic and fucked up things. I feel like so often people react to fucked up fiction with “of course a disgusting man would write this 🙄” and it often carries an unspoken (honestly sometimes spoken) message of “a woman’s PURE and DELICATE and FEMININE mind could NEVER think of something this VILE”. Thank you women in fucked up fiction 🫡

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

Yuzu gotta be kidding me.

We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

jeef berky

had no internet for a couple of hours so i just opened my notes app and started writing a song about how john schnatter, ceo of papa johns, likes to fuck pizzas