take a fuckin sip, babes

i <3 bush

when you have a hammer everything looks like a guy you could kill with a hammer

Things to say during sex: "time out, i need to make a game plan"

idont remmeber what the rest of the post was going to say. use your impregnation i dont care

you get what i mean.

$0

Leopard Seals are what happens when god needs a lizard and all he has is a mammal

I'd recommend turning the sound on. The seal is not screaming. It's not very loud at all, actually, but the noise it's making is Much Worse.

i would kill for the confidence of novelists who write genius-poet characters and then actually write samples of the “genius” poetry in the book. if i were a novelist writing a genius-poet i’d just be like “trust me, the poetry’s real good.”

Transition goals is to be one of the reasons in one of those “top 10 reasons why you should afraid of the ocean” compilations

So often shipping in fandom is treated as something to live vicariously through, either via self inserting in a character or a type of relationship, and like, no, I'm just nosy, I want to voyeuristically look at fictional characters living their lives

My mutuals are both broke and kinky so I have no choice but to piss on the poor

How dare you say my reading comprehension is piss poor