take a fuckin sip, babes

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

"work in progress" is actually so misleading like it assumes that im actually making progress on my work

"you just want attention." yeah, i do. so are you gonna give it to me or not?

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

Bite the hand that fingers you or whatever the expression is

do you think girls ever wake up on like day three in the forever orgasm tentacle pit like… damn i‘m bored now

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

google show me this guy wet and whimpering

is this a safe space to say that the additions to the LGBT flag (“progress flag”) are well meaning but undermine the fact that the original colors symbolized vague concepts that could apply to anyone, rather than signifying specific types of human beings, which is, ironically, more “exclusionary” since it begs the question of why “X specific group of humans” aren’t being represented in the imagery now. the original flag completely avoided that conundrum. also it’s a little ugly. But don’t mind me lol.