Ris. He/him. 22. Epicene guildmage. Proud dad to four awful stinky pythons. I have an electrifying personality. Unban Griselbrand 2k20 squad. Artblog @phirou-art, check out my partner @rhystique, they defeated me in single combat behind the dennys and we are now wedded.
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Have you ever considered illustrate @shittycryptids? It would be a great collaborative work!
More than once !
Prompts and credits under the cut :
A rabbit with frog legs (@queerhermes)
A songbird but instead of wings, it has incredibly large humanoid arms (@queerhermes)
A unicorn squirrel (@queerhermes)
An octopus but at the end of each tentacle is a human foot (@pastalmeme)
An angler fish with human toes for teeth. Not very effective, but unsettling. (@orangeleader)
A turtle but with a snail house (@crookedmanhands)
A mermaid with a lobster tail instead of a standard fish tail (@urbanfantasyinspiration)
Half woman, half snail (@rotten-to-the-applecore)
An octopus mermaid but with only one tentacle, like a tail (anonymous)
A mermaid but with the upper body of a gorilla and the tail of a blue whale (@soulkillingobsession)
A baby with a shark head (@thelimeadecat)
A cat but instead of paws it has hands (@0nlythedankest0fmemes)
An elephant with human ears (@thenapkincaptain)
A cat, but with the legs of a great dane, the ears of a zebra, and the tail of a lizard (@jade-mccryptidbitch)
Lizard with two legs (@stray-kids-stuff)
An amphiptere, but it’s an earthworm with wings made of smaller earthworms. (@overwhelminglyhuman)
A green elephant with a platypus bill instead of a trunk, and only two legs. (@major-sesquipedalian)
Ostrich with four legs (@shadyturtleparadise)
A crow but it has no wings or legs and it’s long (@soybeansaurus)
A spider with human sized human hands. When it’s little it has baby hands and they age as it does. When it runs across the floor there’s a vicious slapping sound (@dilact)
A mouse but round and with two legs (@collinriddle)
A pig with compound eyes (@furbearingbrick)
A snake with no head, just two tails (@titaniumblackbird)
A hydra with exactly 1,489,392 heads, but each head is the size of a grain of quinoa on a T. Rex- sized body (anonymous)
A snail that screams like a chimpanzee. (anonymous)
A komodo dragonfly (anonymous)
A spider, but instead of hundreds of tiny eyes, it has one, big googly eye. (anonymous)
A griffon with the front half of a kiwi and the back half of an echidna. (@cartoon-and-animal-lover)
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in an attempt to appeal to the pathos of my potential employers, i wrote my resume using the same format a no-kill shelter would use to describe a geriatric dog
i am a gentle, mild-mannered young man looking for a forever job to spend the rest of my years in. though i may not be the most talented and versatile person on the job market, i’m the perfect employee for someone out there, and that someone just might be you(r company)!
I’m a very special girl who has captured the hearts of all our volunteers, but just keeps getting overlooked when it comes to that forever boss to call my own! Could it be you? I can use Excel and the toilet. Vaccinated.
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i appreciate ofmd’s “it’s only 1717 when it’s funny” approach to historical accuracy. pinnochio was written in the 1800s. the real israel hands should be 16. pyramid schemes. stede being in that incredibly modern theater teacher outfit. anyway i think lucius should know who lady gaga is but no one else does
love all the notes on this post everyone thank you for reminding me of hits such as:
swede singing a mozart song before mozart was born
lucius saying he had a beard in the gay, dating a girl because you’re closeted sense & jim having no idea what the fuck he’s talking about
ed’s actual biker jacket which literally did not even occur to me while watching that it might be slightly out of place because i was too into the idea of pirates wearing leather
the real ed & stede being in their 20s
someone saying “they’re going to leave me a bad review” potentially implying the existence of a ye olde yelp
everyone saying “bro”
Olu’s crocs
and of course, something i was going to mention in my original post but forgot, jim’s gc2b binder
theres some queerbaiting thats like cask of amantillado levels of deception where i almost pity the fool who has been caught but then theres queerbaiting thats like a block of cheese under a box propped up by a stick and i think if you fall for that kind you deserved it maybe
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