insert title here

Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun

RIP Sisyphus he would've loved emails.

rebecca black was right. It’s Friday

English sauce I'm cryinggggg

the fact that “the vibes here are rancid” is a power that the jedi actually have is insane to me

can you imagine being a normal dude and you’re getting help from this jedi, and this jedi dude’s like “head’s up, the next five minutes have the worst vibes imaginable” and you’re like “why?” and the jedi dude’s like “inscrutable cosmic power told me so, doesn’t get more specific than that”

like all these weird little men in weird little robes with glowy swords do is meditate because they have sorcerer-induced anxiety. yoda’s always fucking meditating on his little pillow because he has to figure out if he’s nauseous because the arcane will of all life itself is speaking through his midichlorians to warn him or if he just ate a bad burrito for lunch. the force is constantly dunking on these weird little men and telling them “something bad’s going to happen” and never explaining what’s going to happen. do you sense bad vibes because your washing machine is about to break and flood your apartment, or because the government you serve is about to turn into a dictatorship and mow your ass like grass? that’s for you to figure out

mace windu has Double Anxiety because every now and then he gets a pop-up that tells him when he is making a Significant Visual Novel Protag Choice

maybe he's born with it. maybe he's combined all of his friends' dna and made a morph that is undeniably beautiful even while it's trying to eat discarded chip packets