insert title here

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............

do not start gambling. go outside and locate a bug. now post it on inaturalist. bam. nature's gacha game

I think perhaps the only way in which queer people have achieved true parity with straight people is that queer romantasy is just as bad.

sometimes i feel ive got to

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run away

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough

hi yeah i know ive been on this medication for 8 years but i need-- yeah. yeah 3 more months please. I'll call you in 3 months to beg for 3 more months, thanks. Bye. Love you.

Scheduled this wrong i cant believe this 🤦‍♀️

I looove when food is in a bowl. Frequently plates are being brought out and I'm thinking this could've been a bowl meal but nobody gets it

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

can never predict which of my posts is going to get popular. now everyone on tumblr knows i kicked a fish

comedic timing