slightly minty very fruity

charlotte is one of the most popular and influential bloggers of the last several years on this site. she's been consistently putting out nothing but good vibes, to the extent that i'd credit her with changing the site's culture a bit. part of the broader trend away from constant negativity. there's literally no excuse for deleting her account

whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight

They should invent a cat who doesn't want my baked beans

They should invent a cat who doesn't want my corn chips

Why is he a beautiful golden-eyed sculpture

"that's right, your majesty! You are in dire need of a new freezer... Do not concern yourself with the large cardboard container in which it shall be delivered! Just let your lowly advisor take care of that..."

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

This is the diametric opposite of "we popping the biggest bottles when Makorra happens"

taylor swift is a tyrant for real like value neutral judgement but you can tell in her music the specific point that caligula started visiting her in dreams

she has this 3d-printed mini desk recreation of the bust of caligula with whom she communicates daily and in order to evade football’s suspicions she told him it was jesus and he was like Niiice jesus is actually awesomesauce ❤️ Like jesus helps you with touchdowns🏈🔥 and she was like yess exactly and then asked caligula in perfect latin if he could connect her with the ghost of genghis khan so they can talk strategy

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

girls come in many amazing shapes

I know we compare sewing machines to horses a lot due to the general tendency to spook at nothing and break their legs, but imagine if you had to clean lint out of tiny crevices inside a horse. it could really be so much worse.

people who are more horsified than me are no longer invited to weigh in on things that you have to clean off of or out of horses.