The Bowery Presents
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@draco-peregrinus

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un
deux
trois
quatre
cinq
La saga des yaourts de r/rienabranler
asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

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Sherlock "You Little Shit" Holmes
Source
The rise of androgyny and unisex fashion in the 1970s was apparently responsible for the introduction of a sex marker in passports.
Oh wow so me saying "no government documentation should ever include a gender marker for any reason" has been right all along. For exactly the reason I stated when people were giving me shit for not supporting x markers on documents.
no gender, no sex either
When you’re trying to get into the meat of your Canned Cinnamon Rolls, how do you open it
Whack it hard on the counter until it opens
Politely press down like the Packaging says too!
Huh??

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I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch
Batman’s Villains: The butler will be easy prey!
He’s just an old man…he doesn’t have any of the Batman’s gadgets or training or fighting skills!
Alfred: Oh my you’re right
There’s something else of Master Bruce’s I don’t have as well
(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING
Batman’s Villains: Wayne isn’t here to save you old man!
Alfred:
Alfred is the original “Call an ambulance — but not for me”
@dragonpuppies I spent way too long on this
Bruce: I have a code.
Alfred: And I have a gun.
Bruce: time to remove the guns.
Alfred: good fucking luck.
I’ve peer reviewed @ebonyheartnet’s addition and found that it deserves a reblog.
My most diagnosable take is that honestly. As much as people in social justicey spaces talk about exercising your empathy ... there's also value in being able to turn it off so you're not extremely susceptible to emotional manipulation. Sometimes you have to be able to recognize "oh, this is bullshit propaganda trying to tug at my heartstrings" and stop giving a fuck about like. Colonizer feelings or whatever. Vibes can't override your principles
Like idk being niceys is a good start but your politics can't begin and end with 🌈 kindness 🌈 or you're gonna get taken advantage of. The worst people on earth will be like "but what if........ I have a sob story about it 🥺" & you Need to be able to tell them to Fuck Completely Off
There's a certain strain of ... Everyone Is Valid 🌸 style pseudo leftism that ime invariably caters to whoever throws the biggest tantrum. And this is a Problem interpersonally & it's especially bad if you let these people dictate your opinions. Not everyone is valid some of you are racist
did anyone else see that seal that just ended up on the street in connecticut
No place for a little seal
Right wing manipulation tactics explained
this is an epic exposure of how propaganda functions.
Always worth watching, even if you've seen it before, bc its a great refresher for how propagandists like Kirk work.
it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon
why aren't we doing this?
you 🫵 you can join the breeding project.
Dogs do not show pain. There are dead in nature if they show it. One way to know if your dog is suffering. Muscels in his back are strained and his biting his teeth
actually if you look into its eyes you’ll see that my dog loves existing. it isn’t biting its teeth, it’s saying “Thank you Creator” and “Creator, I could take more. Go further.” the reason I know this is because I understand dog medicine better than you. but that’s not a reason to be embarrassed.

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I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀
if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like you’re insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like “girls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]” nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old
can between 20-50 of you fucking idiots learn how to read before sending me paragraphs about how a lot of men are bigger than a lot of women (irrelevant to this post), or that I’m telling women to go try to fist fight dwayne the rock johnson (what?) or achtuyally testosterone is a mutant freak hormone that turns boys into superpowered beasts that can take your head clean off the second they hit puberty and I’m spreading misinformation by saying you as a tiny dainty bird boned delicate wisp dew drop of a lass could possibly compare to a man doing anything ever (pathetic)
the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history
the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.
For those unfamiliar, or simply wanting to see it again: