affirmations:
- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position
- consciousness is a gift
- i CAN do this anymore
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@double-aa-batteries
affirmations:
- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position
- consciousness is a gift
- i CAN do this anymore

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being the leader of BTS but losing to a pot of stew — BTS's TRIP EP.2
adam: how did you know you were in love with blue?
gansey, gently, thinking that perhaps adam wants to have a long-overdue conversation about moving on from blue and the fact that gansey is dating her now: why do you ask?
adam: because ronan is gay and in love with me and I’ve known for ages and we just made out upstairs because I’m bi and definitely into him but I need to figure out if I’m actually in love with him too before I proceed any further because I don’t want to hurt him irreparably because it’s ronan
gansey:
get yourself a gang who’ll help you bury the body of the creature that came out of your dreams, representing your internalised homophobia, and tried to kill you
Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?
Yellow
No it’s red because of his shirt
No, it’s yellow because he loves honey
You have no idea what you’re talking about
DID I FUCKING STUTTER?
Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom
@hellsite-hall-of-fame

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I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you
Sometimes you will be a lesbian to your parents and a straight man to your partners parents and a gay man to your partner and a woman to your grandparents and out to your friends and stealth to your classmates and a nice young lady to the cashier at the coffee shop and then people on your computer will ask you to choose which of these identities you ACTUALLY are and which you are Appropriating The Oppression Of because don’t you know they contract each other. You can only be one thing solidly forever
can't stop thinking about the concept of robby getting home from sabbatical dead dog tired, the middle of the night. jamming his keys in his door. toeing off his boots at his entrance after he shuts the door behind him, not bothering to really put them aside. shrugging his coat off to the floor.
padding to his bedroom, just wanting to pass out for the night, for forever, maybe. if he should be so lucky. stripping to his boxers on the way, grunting a little as he steps out of his jeans, leaving a trail of dirty laundry he just can't be assed about. he never used to be messy. that came with the burnout.
but in his bed, curled up and breathing soft, is a bundle of warm dennis whitaker. looking sweet, looking peaceful, painfully domestic. if robby was a good man, he'd quietly back out of the room, go sleep on the couch, let the mouse awkwardly squeak his way out of the house in the morning. but robby hasn't considered himself a good man in a long time, and he wants his comfortable mattress, and he can't pretend he doesn't like the fact that his favorite intern is on top of it.
so he lifts up the covers, shuffles underneath with a sigh, watches lazily as dennis stirs a little, yawns. cute. the air conditioner hums, a quiet white noise, too quiet for robby's taste. there's a nightlight plugged into the wall that's not his, making the room glow softly orange, just enough to be cozy, just enough to not be dark. he wonders if the kid is scared of the dark. he watches as blue eyes peek open, bleary in the dim light, and find his.
dennis must be as tired as him, exhausted, because he doesn't react. not in any startled manner, not in the way robby was expecting. the kid's usually so jumpy around him, wide-eyed, even months later, even with that new edge of confidence robby can't help but enjoy. but not tonight. his voice is a little raspy as he asks s'this a dream? and his only response is a soft hum when robby tells him no, whitaker, I'm afraid not.
are you okay? wasn't the follow-up that robby expected, but it makes sense, from earnest, sweet whitaker. whitaker who worries too much about him, but it doesn't make robby feel particularly special— the kid worries about everyone. wants to help everyone. robby, at best, is an interesting case. haven't been in a long time, kid, is his honest reply, and he's not sure why he doesn't lie to him. maybe it's because dennis is being so intimately normal, so weirdly easy to be around. maybe it's because he's tired of saying "I'm fine."
dennis is a little hesitant in his movements. ginger and careful, cuddling up to robby's side, laying his cheek on robby's chest. skin against skin, robby remembers his discarded shirt, and is pervertedly glad for it. dennis's cheek is soft. the contact is warm, impossibly nice. dennis's arm comes up to lay itself around robby's waist, the boy snuggling closer, huffing out a breath like an exhausted little puppy. robby is endeared. he's always fucking endeared by this kid. he's stopped trying not to be.
normally he'd feel like crying. or he'd start to spiral, overthink. maybe he should. maybe he should force himself to face why the hell this is so easy, why the hell this domesticity that he's been craving his entire life came to him tonight, this random fucking night, in the form of an intern he should not be laying in bed with. but robby is tired. and sleep tugs him under easier than it has in years, warm in his bed, not alone, not alone, not alone. dennis's breaths brush softly across his skin. robby is hopelessly and stupidly attached.
it'll be a problem for tomorrow morning.
a little straw.page request that i only took forever to get to! summertime hucklerobby ☀️🌊🏝️
moral scrupulosity ocd affirmations compilation

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ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.
and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
oh i know michael ‘secretly pining for my best friends since college’ ‘robby’ robinavitch been going absolutely insane ever since dennis joined the pitt
I dont know who the hell the B stands for but god its disgusting that you ship anyone with Dib. Thats a whole ass child, freak. Wanted to follow for the Pokemon content but you're out here shipping whatever the fuck badr is. Dont fucking ship the kids with irkens jesus christ
HUH????? BADR IS MY NAME ITS A NAME IN ARABIC I DON’T EVEN WATCH ZIM DUGDHBCHBVHJVFH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON
this is what you guys get for naming ships in your show in such a stupid way
same energy
holy trinity
The fourth horseman
Here’s another for yall
Hey why can’t I reblog this
wait this post is a no-note bungus
The noteless glitch.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
I felt like this gem earned it’s place here
Op turned off reblogs but I MUST

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having a hometown is such a fucked up concept. i grew up here so i do not want to stay here anymore. i miss it when i am away but once i am back i realise why i wanted to go away as far as possible from it. i am familiar with every corner of this place i did not realise when it slowly changed into something unrecognisable. i would probably like to be buried here but i'd rather die than live here
acts of service