Contemptible Fool

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

vampire: My darling, my eternal flame, my heart's joy taken human form... you simply must drink water your blood tastes like shit.

other drivers will see your safe distance from the vehicle in front of you and go "is for me? 🥺" and then proceed to not use their turn signal before swerving into your lane

Reblog if you're self indulgent and perverted lmao

fellas is it perverted to think happy thoughts

“Generically medieval”, by which we mean our peerage is French, our castles are German, our weapons are Italian, and everybody speaks English.

you can have religion in one of 2 flavors: “woo hoo aesthetic garnish” and “Sinister State Control in Bad Allegory for Problems in Modern Christianity”

Also, the latter is aesthetically French Catholic, theologically German Protestant, and has the institutional structure of the Church of Scientology.

not to mention that this land is simultaneously inhabited by thinly modified northern vikings (Nordic pre-medieval/9th century), travelling mongols (European medieval/13th century) and a wealthy italian merchant family with a house full of oil paintings (Southern European renaissance/15th century). the dance of the day is waltz (refined German 18th century country dance).

But it will only actually be called inaccurate if an adaptation chooses to add a Black person.

I think so many problems online can be solved by either going "damn, not my problem" or simply sending a screenshot to a group chat

Akira bike sliding on a horse

exploring each other’s bodies (via gutting)

no matter how terrible my day is. i can always end my day in bed imagining fictional characters making out sloppy style and fucking raw. and that's beautiful. there's some good in this world mister frodo and it's worth fighting for

We need to bring back children’s programming that focuses on reading. I’m so serious

fun fact there's a political reason for less learning shows--the push for advertising in children's entertainment and deregulation surrounding it

LeVar Burton has specifically called out No Child Left Behind as what killed Reading Rainbow. The priorities of NCLB made it next to impossible to get grants for reading related that didn't focus on phonics, and RR is entirely about teaching kids to love reading, not the mechanics of it. I think Between the Lions struck a nice compromise between the two but it didn't last that long.

"con artist" is maybe the profession with the biggest gap between How Cool They Are In Media and How Cool They Are In Real Life