first rule of Cite Club: tell everyone where you learned about Cite Club

Years ago today, Cosmo had an idea. 

a lot of scantily clad women with numbers in ther urls are following me lately. they must be smitten with my devilish charm

guy ritchie hasn’t made sherlock holmes 3 yet bc he’s been patiently waiting for it to be public domain (2023) so sherlock n watson can legally fuck

you know when you’re in america when your training modules for being an assistant preschool teacher have how to clean toys on one page and how to respond to a school shooting on the next

babies. i have to take a class on how to protect infants, small defenseless innocents that have nothing but good to give to the world, from a school shooter. i have to learn how to keep a 6 month old quiet when gunshots are ringing out in the next room. i have to learn how to hide a room full of babies just woken from naptime by a murder with a gun, how to hold them and rock them and pray they don’t cry and let a shooter know where we are. god bless america

this is okay to rb by the way. this is the reality for teachers, by all means fucking show it to people

😭 She made a friend.

I cannot express how important it is to brush your teeth and floss regularly. It's especially important as so many people don't have dental coverage and that preventative work saves you so much pain and money in the long run. I know it sucks and it is so hard, but you'll also feel so good after doing it. And when you start doing it regularly, you'll find your mouth and gums feel so much better. If you've already done it today, good job! I'm so proud of you and so happy for you!

This is the first tumblr blaze post I've seen that's made me go "actually yes, it's good if people see this"

all these posts about people clutching their pearls about seeing bare titties at pride make me laugh because at last year's pride i met a cishet guy who had no idea what was going on and had joined because he saw bare titties and thought "those people look like they are having fun, and also i can see tits for free" and he asked me about what was happening and let me explain LGBT struggles for some time before telling me he had a transgender cousin and he was going to make sure to be there for her in the future. bare tits will be the beacon to world peace

Adam West lives on in him

Universities love to make their websites a fucking maze

Universities websites love to tell you to email a guy who died 5 years ago

what city slickers don’t understand is that weird noises always come from the forest and we just ignore it

if you go out to investigate and get got then that is on you, ignore it and go back to sleep like a rational person

Best case scenario, it’s a fox. Worst case scenario, you’re next.

Don’t forget about the blue herons (if you’re near water).

Replace forest with acres upon acres of corn fields and the advice will holds, I’ve learned.

When you start hearing the Coyotes ten ft from your house the fear of God runs deep

This is what happens to characters when you write an AU fanfic

Off goes Riker, to the coffee shop.

God bless nurses forever

I don’t think we talk enough about how, despite the presence of multiple globes, PotC takes place on a flat earth, ice wall included.

I'm gonna need some elaboration here

#it's like lord of the rings#it's only flat for pirates

You get it.

“Pirate” is a mage subclass fueled by word of mouth, rule of cool, The Power of Belief/Love/Friendship, and rum.

I think the future of zombie fiction is covid allegories.

Gone are the days of shooting zombies in the street. Now are the days of your employer making you come in while you still have occasional fits of arm biting.

Gently pushing your zombie coworker into the supply closet with a broom, teens doing school from home and watching their next door neighbor undead stumbling around in his back garden, the delivery guy going zombie in your front yard.