her: have u been a good boy for daddy? me: No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.
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@invizigothx
her: have u been a good boy for daddy? me: No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.

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Michael Leonard (British, 1933–2023). "Untitled", 1978. colored pencil on paper
I learned the mechanics of a new magic trick (identifying whether a coin randomly selected from a group of coins is heads or tails after the audience participator has secretly flipped the coins as many times as they please) and was brainstorming different ways to frame it, explain the instructions, etc-- since stage magic is all about the presentation. and I came up with this great little bit about how psychic energy is conducted, like electricity, through metals such as copper and silver but it's very very weak and therefore limited to transmitting information in binary form such as whether a coin is facing up heads or tails. unfortunately I'm so strongly opposed to spreading misinformation even in jest............
Stitch & Time is a short documentary about men serving life sentences in a California prison who create handmade items for fellow prison
The docu-short, Stitch & Time, is now available online for free
This very short film offers a quick but intimate look at end-of-life care in prisons as incarcerated men serving life sentences, Billy Ray and Clay, start a crochet group to create blankets, hats, and comfort items for fellow incarcerated men in the hospice unit
I've had the joy of working with directors David and Scott on programming and know through other endeavors how committed Billy Ray and Clay are creating care in spaces that intentionally deny it
On a personal note, I’ve watched this documentary many times while preparing for various events, and I find myself noticing or gleaning something new and different each time. I find the juxtaposition between punishment and care to be deeply moving (I know moving sounds trite but sometimes that’s just what it is).
I know in abolitionist spaces a conversation that comes up is how trying to change the quality of life within prisons is “just putting a bow on it” and I hear that, but in the meantime, those are real people and tangible acts of care, no matter how small, can have incredible value
And if you watch this and you’re curious about end-of-life care in prisons, I recommend checking out the Humane Prison Hospice Project, which helps train incarcerated people how to provide peer end-of-life care and hospice support to each other.
modest proposal: bullfighting is replaced by WWE style entertainment featuring a matador and a person in a bull fursuit

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"91" / "93" /"99" (Dmitry Myasnikov, 2022).
Melon collies
drag king called Fozzie Bear and it's a Tom of Finland leather look BUT with bear ears, brown pork pie hat and a pink and white polka dot necktie. the performance is just a tight five of stand-up, probably need an assistant to heckle from the side with hand puppets of Statler and Waldorf
can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.
funny how fairy tales and their adaptions (at least the western Europe canon that I'm most familiar with) do have these misogynist tropes-- marriage is the happiest ending, beauty is the mark of Goodness, women who self-sacrifice are rewarded-- but in thinking back about when I was a teenager. my best friend and I were so keen on a certain kind of fairy tale concept/imagery: the young woman in the wilderness, on a journey either by herself or with an animal companion (especially a large bear) or else living alone and self-sufficient in a remote cottage. the young woman is beautiful but totally sexless, and when the prince marries her the story immediately ends, as if there's nothing important about him or the marriage, it's just a kind of after thought to every thing else she's done. the reparative reading!

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@specialagentartemis directed my attention recently to this piece on the misrepresentation and decontextualization of Audre Lorde's quote "the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." It's very good and worth reading in full. But, to pivot to a completely different theorist, the memetic dumbing-down of that quote that the author identifies - the way it has become "a revolutionary provocation flattened into a reflexive shutdown" that "shows up most often as a thought-terminating cliché" is precisely what drives me up the wall about the popular reception of Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick's concepts of paranoid reading and reparative reading.
Namely, I have seen so many people use not even a quote from that essay itself, but a journalist's gloss of the essay, to effectively "clap back" at literary interpretations they disagree with or deem intolerably "paranoid," a kind of reactive and smug non-response that is not only against the spirit of the essay, but is, ironically enough, in and of itself a paranoid gesture. On the flip side, in response to this, you get people arguing, "Well, actually, paranoid readings are important and necessary, because we need to be able to criticize eg. racism!" even though Sedgwick literally never said otherwise.
To expand more on this - a reading can be "paranoid" according to Sedgwick's definition and still be correct, insightful, "good faith," and not even necessarily "pessimistic" or "cynical." The latter is a common misreading of the essay - as quoted in the OP, Sedgwick states that both paranoid and reparative readings are often pessimistic. But if anything, many paranoid readings are actually invested in a kind of optimism; she identifies "faith in exposure" as one of the central tenets of a paranoid critical orientation, and "faith" parses as optimistic in most contexts. Her identification of Judith Butler's reading of drag in Gender Trouble as a paranoid reading does not stem from any particular pessimism on Butler's part (if anything, Butler is attentive to the liberatory and subversive qualities of drag) but from Butler's framework of drag's potential to "expose" the constructedness of gender. In fact, Sedgwick's skepticism of the efficacy of such an "exposure" is, arguably, a countering pessimism.
This is even more apparent in the opening anecdote in the essay, referring to the question of whether or not the AIDS virus was deliberately engineered. There is a kind of optimism vested in the desire to unveil a conspiracy or an act of violence, a belief that "surely if people realized this was happening, things would change!" This is sometimes true, but, as Sedgwick points out, there are demonstrably many instances in which it's not, or in which the exposure itself is the violence (which is interesting in its anticipation of theorizing on here about the concept of hypervisibility as a form of oppression, especially re: transmisogyny). It's the reply given in that anecdote - effectively, "Even if AIDS were deliberately engineered, what difference would that knowledge actually make?" - that is pessimistic! Part of her argument is that it's only through that pessimism - the kind of cumulative world-weariness that activism can lead to - that other possibilities for formulating or utilizing knowledge can be discerned (and through which one can allow oneself to be surprised, as in Sedgwick's view a paranoid approach continually strives to forestall surprise - a process with which many of us who struggle with anxiety are well-acquainted).
All of that is to say - "paranoia" as a critical lens is not inherently bad. Sometimes it can be useful or necessary. The problem is the conflation of a paranoid approach with criticism itself. And as Sedgwick was speaking to antihomophobic criticism specifically, it's easy to trace a line to how this often manifests in any kind of anti-oppressive interpretative approach. It's common to characterize, for example, mining for oppressive subtext as the feminist, anti-homophobic, anti-racist, etc. approach. The idea that one might be well aware of that subtext but not see its revelation as the most productive or insightful means of exploring gender, race, sexuality, etc. in that text is anathema to many people. One can be aware, one can care very deeply, and still make a different choice as where to expend one's interpretive energies.
“Tea in the Garden” ✾ Henri Matisse — oil on canvas, 140.3 × 211.5 cm
mind palace that was formerly a palace until the ruling family was killed mercilessly for its crimes. and now it's the thinking woman's socialist republic.
soft call for zine submissions: "The Witching Hour Is Over" -- zine about moving away from/out of the popular "magic/witchcraft" trend. I was really into tarot during an incredibly unstable time in my life, and witchcraft vibes in general, and then moved away from it. so this zine is thinking about that, the relationship between popular/commodified forms of witchcraft, consumerism, feminism, cultural appropriation/invention and bending instead of breaking. I don't have a clear timeline on this project and I don't want to do a big Open Call. BUT if anyone reading this post is interested in these themes and would like to write/collage/draw a piece for the zine, please send me a note via tumblr or [email protected] with a draft or even just a description of what you're thinking about and we can go from there. part of why I'm making this post is because this is a personal topic but also a topic with so many possible points of view and I'd love to expand the zine at least a little beyond my own experience.

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Happy Pride Month!
UM EXCUSE ME??!?!?!
i have so many questions that i do not want to know the answers to