a regular carbon-based employee

a core part of being on tumblr is watching the site kick itself in the dick

i’m really sorry about my behavior. you see, growing up, my family- *remembers blaming all my problems on other people is really annoying and unhealthy* i mean. i am responsible for all the evils of this world and i bear sins like the sky bears the stars

is anyone else constantly afraid they’ll be “caught” doing stuff they’re obviously allowed or even supposed to do

uh oh 😖 I’m playing video games 😰 on my computer 🫢 that I own 😨 if anyone sees this I’m going to have to fake my own death

idk what neurodivergent young adult needs to hear this but you are NOT supposed to give 100% at your job. I've gotten more promotions and raises since I started giving 40-60%, which my evil CEO uncle informed me is what bosses actually expect when they say 110%. My mental health has improved tremendously. I've spent 2 out of 5 workdays secretly writing my novel for the last 2 years and I've never been more respected and appreciated. Also--when you see glaring wasteful errors in the company's operating systems, say absolutely nothing! Embrace inefficiency. It is your friend in this capitalist hellscape.

This really resonated with you guys huh

I don’t want to hear any writing advice from Stephen king not because I think there would be no value in it but because whatever works for Stephen king is between him and god and that demon he made a pact with that lets him write 3000 words in one sitting daily.

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

I truly truly believe that the most important thing you can do in fandom is be a cheerleader. comment on fics. reblog art and rave in the tags. support the people making the things you want to see. this is how you keep a fandom alive. this is how you get more of what you want. you never know: that person could have decided to make more just because you liked it.