munch munch munch yum yum yum

Imagining that Ilya got to watch Shane’s stretch marks go from angry and red and feeling the thin, near fragile skin of them when they first met, both just past major growth spurts, to seeing them pale and thick, lines his fingers can trace with the familiarity that he once traced the alphabet

“we just want a future, i don’t know” is so crazy when you think about it. like this is shane who’s never let his wants or desires be known. he keeps them so close to his chest, never lets anyone see them, much less his parents, but then he falls in love with ilya. and now that he knows ilya feels the same he’s trying to figure it out and he’s trying to make it all fit into the lives they have but it’s still so terrifying for him, the path ahead so amorphous and uncertain. he’s trying not to make waves or demand things, and he doesn’t wanna be paraded all over the mlh as this gay icon. but he’s certain he wants ilya. he wants ilya when he wakes up in the morning and he wants ilya when he comes home and he wants their shirts to brush shoulders in the closet and their toothbrushes to sit beside each other on the sink and he wants their worlds to come together, for the tapestries of their lives to become so interwoven you’d find traces of the other everywhere. a future, a forever, with the only person he’s ever been in love with. and is that so much to ask?

#if you are a person who is not little and have ever been picked up easily by a partner for the first time in your life... u get it

the holy trinity: the father (fuck it we ball) the son (it is what it is) the holy spirit (to be cringe is to be free)

your mental illness is mean and it’s a liar. You are never as horrible as you think. People love you. You are worthy