closing the chapter on my 8 year on and off relationship today so i can start a new one with shyboy (who let it slip that he’s planning to ask me to be his girlfriend soon😭). and how exciting that is !!! to even want to picture a life with someone else, let alone be able to. yet i’m mourning kids i never had, names picked and futures imagined. my favorite place in the world will always be tied to him and i don’t think i can call it mine anymore. i will never have the chance to make it my home the way i’ve dreamed since i was 18 or maybe even before that, but at least i got to call it home for a little while. up until about 2 months ago i still thought i’d marry that man. i didn’t know the cheap rings we bought each other in june would be memorials rather than promises. oh well, not everything that shimmers is gold.