(bravely) I think body parts should only hurt if something is wrong.

And that something should be fixable

Ideally with a warm bath and a good night's sleep

I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔

Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep

you're like that guy from the mummy

(wanting to make a post about something but it reveals too much about your personal life) i have had a negative experience

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

i do think it’s funny when you’ve been into a thing long enough that you’ve done all the serious analysis you can do so now you’re mostly just thinking up looney tunes scenarios to put the characters in

looney tunes scenarios which are most importantly still impeccably in-character because of all the aforementioned serious analysis

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

i think sometimes i use the like button to pet the posts

I see from the notes that we're all havin a normal one 👍

i would love to go to bed when i plan to, but unfortunately the person in charge of me is me and that bitch LOVES screentime and poor decisions

So while doing some pirate research for the play I’m writing I stumbled upon one of the most amazing things I’ve ever read. In the 5th century A.D. there was a Scandinavian princess called Alwilda who’s father tried to set her up to marry Alf, the Prince of Denmark. Alwilda wasn’t cool with this so she and some female companions dressed as men, stole a ship, and sailed away. Eventually they met a company of pirates who were in need of a new captain and they were so captivated by her that they elected her as their new leader. Her crew became so infamous that Prince Alf was sent out to stop them. When their ships met he took Alwilda prisoner and she was so impressed by Alf’s skill that she agreed to marry him after all and eventually became the Queen of Denmark.

I stopped caring whether this was factually accurate about halfway through because it’s completely AWESOME.

Reblogging my old post for this A+ addition to it