@paper-mario-wiki

#extradirty
art blog(derogatory)
sheepfilms
The Stonewall Inn

Love Begins

Jimmy Eat World
Fieri Frames

@theartofmadeline
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
KIROKAZE
The Bright Sessions
Fai_Ryy
NASA
★
Doug Jones
Color Me Curious
EXPECTATIONS
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

shark vs the universe
seen from Indonesia

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@dimitrifate
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Honestly, if you see an angel that’s all eyes and wings and wheels of fire, you should be worried. Like, not because it’s going to hurt you or anything, but because scripturally, angels invariably appear to ordinary people in human form. In general, they only show their inhuman true forms to prophets – which means if you’re seeing them like that, they come bearing responsibility.
I woke up today with the phrase “spooky scary seraphim” in my head today, looks like we’re on the same wavelength.
i made a new christmas carol
@error-404-fuck-not-found
amazing double dance by hao ruoqi ( in blue)and wang xuerou(in red)
OH MY GOD OH MY GOOOOD A FEW THINGS ABOUT THIS:
the facial expressions
the effortless sensuality
I AM SO GAY
the inexplicable moment in which the dynamic between the two shifted like they changed bodies
did china allow this to be shown? china?
DID I MENTION THE GAY
what is the lore of this? I figured that it was a malevolent spirit shifting from one body to another
the part with the leg. you know which one I mean
seriously are they actresses cause this level of portrayal is more astounding than any Hollywood actress has ever amounted to
the end with the smile and the head grab and the beating heart
O H M Y G O D
it’s been 3 days and i can’t stop thinking abt these
You missed the best part, my friend. These are just two photos from a whole book.
Please, enjoy this smattering of beauty and wonder.
These make me so happy
I love all of these, but I am SCREAMING over the last one.
Those boys are perfect.
if i might add:
This entire book looks like someone’s fever dream brought to life through some dark pact with an eldritch being… and I love it.
Sometimes things aren’t good. But this.
A masterpiece.
An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.
It isn’t uncommon for this particular demon to be summoned—from exhausting Halloween party pranks in abandoned barns to more legitimate (more exhausting) ceremonies in forests—but it has to admit, this is the first time it’s been called forth from its realm into a claustrophobic living room bathed in the dull orange-pink glow of old glass lamps and a multitude of wide-eyed, creepy antique porcelain dolls that could give Chucky a run for his money with all of their silent, seething stares combined. Accompanying those oddities are tea cup and saucer sets on shelves atop frilly doilies crocheted with the utmost care, and cross-stitched, colorful ‘Home Sweet Home’s hung across the wood-paneled walls.
It’s a mistake—a wrong number, per se. No witch it’s ever known has lived in such an, ah, dated, home. Furthermore, no practitioner that ever summoned it has been absent, as if they’d up and ding-dong ditched it. No, it didn’t work that way. Not at all. Not if they want to survive the encounter.
It hears the clinking of movement in the room adjacent—the kitchen, going by the pungent, bitter scent of cooled coffee and soggy, sweet sponge cakes, but more jarring is the smell of blood. It moves—feels something slip beneath its clawed foot as it does, and sees a crocheted blanket of whites and greys and deep black yarn, wound intricately, perfectly, into a summoning circle. Its summoning circle. There is a small splash of bright scarlet and sharp, jagged bits of a broken curio scattered on top, as if someone had dropped it, attempted to pick it up the pieces and pricked their finger. It would explain the blood. And it would explain the demon being brought into this strange place.
As it connects these pieces in its mind, the inhabitant of the house rounds the corner and exits the kitchen, holding a damp, white dish towel close to her hand and fumbling with the beaded bifocals hanging from her neck by a crocheted lanyard before stopping dead in her tracks.
Now, to be fair, the demon wouldn’t ordinarily second guess being face-to-face with a hunchbacked crone with a beaked nose, beady eyes and a peculiar lack of teeth, or a spidery shawl and ankle-length black dress, but there is definitely something amiss here. Especially when the old biddy lets her spectacles fall slack on her bosom and erupts into a wide, toothy (toothless) grin, eyes squinting and crinkling from the sheer effort of it.
“Todd! Todd, dear, I didn’t know you were visiting this year! You didn’t call, you didn’t write—but, oh, I’m so happy you’re here, dear! Would it have been too much to ask you to ring the doorbell? I almost had a heart attack. And don’t worry about the blood, here—I had an accident. My favorite figure toppled off of the table and cleanup didn’t go as expected. But I seem to recall you are quite into the bloodshed and ‘edgy’ stuff these days, so I don’t suppose you mind.” She releases a hearty, kind laugh, but it isn’t mocking, it’s sweet. Grandmotherly. The demon is by no means sentimental or maudlin, but the kindness, the familiarity, the genuine fondness, does pull a few dusty old nostalgic heartstrings. “Imagine if it leaves a scar! It’d be a bit ‘badass,’ as you teenagers say, wouldn’t it?”
She is as blind as a bat without her glasses, it would appear, because the demon is by no means a ‘Todd’ or a human at all, though humanoid, shrouded in sleek, black skin and hard spikes and sharp claws. But the demon humors her, if only because it had been caught off guard.
The old woman smiles still, before turning on her heel and shuffling into the hallway with a stiff gait revealing a poor hip. “Be a dear and make some more coffee, would you please? I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Yes, this is most definitely a mistake. One for the record books, for certain. For late-night trips to bars and conversations with colleagues, while others discuss how many souls they’d swindled in exchange for peanuts, or how many first-borns they’d been pledged for things idiot humans could have gained without divine intervention. Ugh. Sometimes it all just became so pedantic that little detours like this were a blessing—happy accidents, as the humans would say.
That’s why the demon does as asked, and plods slowly into the kitchen, careful to duck low and avoid the top of the doorframe. That’s why it gingerly takes the small glass pot and empties it of old, stale coffee and carefully, so carefully, takes a measuring scoop between its claws and fills the machine with fresh grounds. It’s as the hot water is percolating that the old woman returns, her index finger wrapped tight in a series of beige bandages.
“I’m surprised you’re so tall, Todd! I haven’t seen you since you were at my hip! But your mother mails photos all the time—you do love wearing all black, don’t you?” She takes a seat at the small round table in the corner and taps the glass lid of the cake plate with quaking, unsteady, aged hands. “I was starting to think you’d never visit. Your father and I have had our disagreements, but…I am glad you’re here, dear. Would you like some cake?” Before the demon has a chance to decline, she lifts the lid and cuts a generous slice from the near-complete circle that has scarcely been touched. It smells of citrus and cream and is, as assumed earlier, soggy, oversaturated with icing.
It was made for a special occasion, for guests, but it doesn’t seem this old woman receives much company in this musty, stagnant house that smells like an antique garage that hadn’t had its dust stirred in years.
Especially not from her absentee grandson, Todd.
The demon waits until the coffee pot is full, and takes two small mugs from the counter, filling them until steam is frothing over the rims. Then, and only then, does it accept the cake and sit, with some difficulty, in a small chair at the small table. It warbles out a polite ‘thank you,’ but it doesn’t suppose the woman understands. Manners are manners regardless.
“Oh, dear, I can hardly understand. Your voice has gotten so deep, just like your grandfather’s was. That, and I do recall you have an affinity for that gravelly, screaming music. Did your voice get strained? It’s alright, dear, I’ll do the talking. You just rest up. The coffee will help soothe.”
The demon merely nods—some communication can be understood without fail—and drinks the coffee and eats the cake with a too-small fork. It’s ordinary, mushy, but delicious because of the intent behind it and the love that must have gone into its creation.
“I hope you enjoyed all of the presents I sent you. You never write back—but I am aware most people use that fancy E-mail these days. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I do wish your mom and dad would visit sometime. I know of a wonderful little café down the street we can go to. I haven’t been; I wanted to visit it with Charles, before he…well.” She falls silent in her rambling, staring into her coffee with a small, melancholy smile. “I can’t believe it’s been ten years. You never had the chance to meet him. But never mind that.” Suddenly, and with surprising speed that has the demon concerned for her well being, she moves to her feet, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. “I may as well give you your birthday present, since you’re here. What timing! I only finished it this morning. I’ll be right back.”
When she returns, the white, grey and black crocheted work with the summoning circle is bundled in her arms.
“I found these designs in an occult book I borrowed from the library. I thought you’d like them on a nice, warm blanket to fight off the winter chill—I hope you do like it.” With gentle hands, she spreads the blanket over the demon’s broad, spiky back like a shawl, smoothing it over craggy shoulders and patting its arms affectionately. “Happy birthday, Todd, dear.”
Well, that settles it. Whoever, wherever, Todd is, he’s clearly missing out. The demon will just have to be her grandson from now on.
this is so sweet. it made me want to hug someone.
i had to
I WOULD WATCH SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE
Okay but she takes him to the little cafe and all of the people in her town are like “What is that thing, what the hell, Anette?” and she’s like “Don’t you remember my grandson Todd?” and the entire town just has to play along because no one will tell little old Nettie that her grandson is an actual demon because this is the happiest she’s been since her husband died.
Bonus: In season 4 she makes him run for mayor and he wins
I just want to watch ‘Todd’ help her with groceries, and help her with cooking, and help her clean up the dust around the house and air it out, and fill it with spring flowers because Anette mentioned she loved hyacinth and daffodils. Over the seasons her eyesight worsens, so ‘Todd’ brings a hellhound into the house to act as her seeing eye dog, and people in town are kinda terrified of this massive black brute with fur that drips like thick oil, and a mouth that can open all the way back to its chest, but ‘Honey’ likes her hard candies, and doesn’t get oil on the carpet, and when ‘Todd’ has to go back to Hell for errands, Honey will snuggle up to Anette and rest his giant head on her lap, and whuff at her pockets for butterscotch. Anette never gives ‘Todd’ her soul, but she gives him her heart
In season six, Anette gets sick. She spends most of the season bedridden and it becomes obvious by about midway through the season that she’s not going to make it to the end of the season. Todd spends the season travelling back and forth between the human realm and his home plane, trying hard to find something, anything that will help Anette get better, to prolong her life. He’s tried getting her to sell him her soul, but she’s just laughed, told him that he shouldn’t talk like that. With only a few episodes left in the season Anette passes away, Todd is by her side. When the reaper comes for her Todd asks about the fate of her soul. In a dispassionate voice the reaper informs Todd that Anette spent the last few years of her life cavorting with creatures of darkness, that there can be only one fate for her. Todd refuses to accept this and he fights the reaper, eventually injuring the creature and driving it off. Knowing that Anette cannot stay in the Human Realm, and refusing to allow her spirit to be taken by another reaper, so he takes her soul in his arms. He’s done this before, when mortals have sold themselves to him. This time the soul cradled against his chest does not snuggle and fight. This time the soul held tight against him reaches out, pats him on the cheek tells him he was a good boy, and so handsome, just like his grandfather. Todd takes Anette back to the demon realm, holding her tight against him as he travels across the bleak and forebidding landscape; such a sharp contrast to the rosy warmth of Anette’s home. Eventually, in a far corner of his home plane, Todd finds what he is looking for. It is a place where other demons do not tread; a large boulder cracked and broken, with a gap just barely large enough for Todd to fit through. This crack, of all things, gives him pause, but Anette’s soul makes a comment about needing to get home in time to feed Honey, and Todd forces himself to pass through it. He travels in darkness for a while, before he emerges into into a light so bright that it’s blinding. His eyes adjust slowly, and he finds himself face to face with two creatures, each of them at least twice his size one of them has six wings and the head of a lion, one of them is an amorphous creature within several rings. The lion-headed one snarls at Todd, and demands that he turn back, that he has no business here. Todd looks down, holding Anette’s soul against his chest, he takes a deep breath, and speaks a single word, “Please.” The two larger beings are taken aback by this. They are too used to Todd’s kind being belligerent, they consult with each other, they argue. The amorphous one seems to want to be lenient, the lion-headed one insists on being stricter. While they’re arguing Todd sneaks by them and runs as fast as he can, deeper into the brightly lit expanse. The path on which he travels begins to slope upwards, and eventually becomes a staircase. It becomes evident that each step further up the stair is more and more difficult for Todd, that it’s physically paining him to climb these stairs, but he keeps going.
They dedicate a full episode to this climb; interspersing the climb with scenes they weren’t able to show in previous seasons, Anette and Honey coming to visit Todd in the Mayor’s office, Anette and Todd playing bingo together for the first time, Anette and Todd watching their stories together in the mid afternoon, Anette falling asleep in her chair and Todd gently carrying her to bed. Anette making Todd lemonade in the summer while he’s up on the roof fixing that leak and cleaning out the rain gutters. Eventually Todd reaches the top, and all but collapses, he falls to a knee and for the first time his grip on Anette’s soul slips, and she falls away from him. Landing on the ground. He reaches out for her, but someone gets there first. Another hand reaches out, and helps this elderly woman off the ground, helps her get to her feet. Anette gasps, it’s Charles. The pair of them throw their arms around each other. Anette tells Charles that she’s missed him so much, and she has so much to tell him. Charles nods. Todd watches a soft smile on his face. A delicate hand touches Todd’s shoulder, and pulls him easily to his feet. A figure; we never see exactly what it looks like, leans down, whispering in Todd’s ear that he’s done well, and that Anette will be well taken care of here. That she will spend an eternity with her loved ones. Todd looks back over to her, she’s surrounded by a sea of people. Todd nods, and smiles. The figure behind him tells him that while he has done good in bringing Anette here, this is not his place, and he must leave. Todd nods, he knew this would be the case. Todd gets about six steps down the stairway before he is stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder again. He turns around, and Anette is standing behind him. She gives him a big hug and leads him back up the stairs, he should stay, she says. Get to know the family. Todd tries to tell her that he can’t stay, but she won’t hear it. She leads him up into the crowd of people and begins introducing him to long dead relatives of hers, all of whom give him skeptical looks when she introduces him as her grandson. The mysterious figure appears next to Todd again and tells him once more he must leave, Todd opens his mouth to answer but Anette cuts him off. Nonsense, she tells the figure. IF she’s gonna stay here forever her grandson will be welcome to visit her. She and the figure stare at each other for a moment. The figure eventually sighs and looks away, the figure asks Todd if she’s always like this. Todd just shrugs and smiles, allowing Anette to lead him through a pair of pearly gates, she’s already talking about how much cake they’ll need to feed all of these relatives.
P.S. Honey is a Good Dog and gets to go, too.
the last lines of the show:
demon: you’re not blind here – but you’re not surprised. when…?
anette: oh, toddy, don’t be silly, my biological grandson’s not twelve feet tall and doesn’t scorch the furniture when he sneezes. i’ve known for ages.
demon: then why?
anette: you wouldn’t have stayed if you weren’t lonely too.
demon: you… you don’t have to keep calling me your grandson.
anette: nonsense! adopted children are just as real. now quit sniffling, you silly boy, and let’s go bake a cake. honey, heel!
honey: W̝̽̂̿͂͝Ọ̮̹̲̪̋ͦͅO̸̘͔̬͊F̜̫͙̟͕͖̙̋ͫ͌͗
that addition is a+ :)
THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT FOR THIS
Every time this post shows up on my dash, it gets better (and more heart wrenching. Y’all! Stop cutting the onions okay?!).
If ever don’t reblogging this, I’m either dead, dying, or buried under cat.
LISTEN I WILL SELL MY SOUL FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE THIS AN ACTUAL SHOW OKAY

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Kingprotea with Presence Concealment would be insane. Imagine you’ve finally found the secret Chaldea mountain base, when one of said mountains gets up and just fucking punts you.
The first time Gudako took KP on a mission, the people from the villages near the rayshift drop whispered in fear and awe amongst themselves for generations to come.
“The Earth does breathe as you and I, and its heart does beat for the starlit traveler. It shelters her and her allies from wind and rain, and falls upon the armies of their enemies. It lags behind her as a child does with their mother, but rages as a god does to a slight.”
“Heed not the calls to oppose the traveler and receive them kindly when they come. In doing so one assures their home of protection from the evils of night, and passes the judgment of the walking mountain.”
“If you hear a GAO in the distance you’d best be running for your life”
Writers can use these 12 Archetypes to create characters
The 12 Common Archetypes by Carl Golden
The twelve archetypes are divided into ego types, self types, and soul types.
1) The Four Ego Types 1. The Innocent Motto: Free to be you and me Core desire: to get to paradise Goal: to be happy Greatest fear: to be punished for doing something bad or wrong Strategy: to do things right Weakness: boring for all their naive innocence Talent: faith and optimism The Innocent is also known as: Utopian, traditionalist, naive, mystic, saint, romantic, dreamer. 2. The Orphan/Regular Guy or Gal Motto: All men and women are created equal Core Desire: connecting with others Goal: to belong Greatest fear: to be left out or to stand out from the crowd Strategy: develop ordinary solid virtues, be down to earth, the common touch Weakness: losing one’s own self in an effort to blend in or for the sake of superficial relationships Talent: realism, empathy, lack of pretence The Regular Person is also known as: The good old boy, everyman, the person next door, the realist, the working stiff, the solid citizen, the good neighbour, the silent majority. 3. The Hero Motto: Where there’s a will, there’s a way Core desire: to prove one’s worth through courageous acts Goal: expert mastery in a way that improves the world Greatest fear: weakness, vulnerability, being a “chicken” Strategy: to be as strong and competent as possible Weakness: arrogance, always needing another battle to fight Talent: competence and courage The Hero is also known as: The warrior, crusader, rescuer, superhero, the soldier, dragon slayer, the winner and the team player. 4. The Caregiver Motto: Love your neighbour as yourself Core desire: to protect and care for others Goal: to help others Greatest fear: selfishness and ingratitude Strategy: doing things for others Weakness: martyrdom and being exploited Talent: compassion, generosity The Caregiver is also known as: The saint, altruist, parent, helper, supporter. 2) The Four Soul Types 5. The Explorer Motto: Don’t fence me in Core desire: the freedom to find out who you are through exploring the world Goal: to experience a better, more authentic, more fulfilling life Biggest fear: getting trapped, conformity, and inner emptiness Strategy: journey, seeking out and experiencing new things, escape from boredom Weakness: aimless wandering, becoming a misfit Talent: autonomy, ambition, being true to one’s soul The explorer is also known as: The seeker, iconoclast, wanderer, individualist, pilgrim. 6. The Rebel Motto: Rules are made to be broken Core desire: revenge or revolution Goal: to overturn what isn’t working Greatest fear: to be powerless or ineffectual Strategy: disrupt, destroy, or shock Weakness: crossing over to the dark side, crime Talent: outrageousness, radical freedom The Outlaw is also known as: The rebel, revolutionary, wild man, the misfit, or iconoclast. 7. The Lover Motto: You’re the only one Core desire: intimacy and experience Goal: being in a relationship with the people, work and surroundings they love Greatest fear: being alone, a wallflower, unwanted, unloved Strategy: to become more and more physically and emotionally attractive Weakness: outward-directed desire to please others at risk of losing own identity Talent: passion, gratitude, appreciation, and commitment The Lover is also known as: The partner, friend, intimate, enthusiast, sensualist, spouse, team-builder. 8. The Creator Motto: If you can imagine it, it can be done Core desire: to create things of enduring value Goal: to realize a vision Greatest fear: mediocre vision or execution Strategy: develop artistic control and skill Task: to create culture, express own vision Weakness: perfectionism, bad solutions Talent: creativity and imagination The Creator is also known as: The artist, inventor, innovator, musician, writer or dreamer. 3) The Four Self Types 9. The Jester Motto: You only live once Core desire: to live in the moment with full enjoyment Goal: to have a great time and lighten up the world Greatest fear: being bored or boring others Strategy: play, make jokes, be funny Weakness: frivolity, wasting time Talent: joy The Jester is also known as: The fool, trickster, joker, practical joker or comedian. 10. The Sage Motto: The truth will set you free Core desire: to find the truth. Goal: to use intelligence and analysis to understand the world. Biggest fear: being duped, misled—or ignorance. Strategy: seeking out information and knowledge; self-reflection and understanding thought processes. Weakness: can study details forever and never act. Talent: wisdom, intelligence. The Sage is also known as: The expert, scholar, detective, advisor, thinker, philosopher, academic, researcher, thinker, planner, professional, mentor, teacher, contemplative. 11. The Magician Motto: I make things happen. Core desire: understanding the fundamental laws of the universe Goal: to make dreams come true Greatest fear: unintended negative consequences Strategy: develop a vision and live by it Weakness: becoming manipulative Talent: finding win-win solutions The Magician is also known as: The visionary, catalyst, inventor, charismatic leader, shaman, healer, medicine man. 12. The Ruler Motto: Power isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. Core desire: control Goal: create a prosperous, successful family or community Strategy: exercise power Greatest fear: chaos, being overthrown Weakness: being authoritarian, unable to delegate Talent: responsibility, leadership The Ruler is also known as: The boss, leader, aristocrat, king, queen, politician, role model, manager or administrator.
Note: There are four cardinal orientations: freedom, social, ego, order. The types have a place on these orientations.
Article via soulcraft.co
half tiefs (and a full tief for reference)
people keep on asking about the aasimar tief cross so. Theyre only ever born out of love between their parents, no tiefling/aasimar birth can be viable without it (and even then they are exceedingly uncommon). They’re fully sapient and are swayed toward neither good nor evil, however their inherent wrongness in the eyes of mortals and gods alike can often drive them into isolation regardless of their individual personalities.
the physical sensation of seeing one is a lot like the dizziness experienced when you step onto land again after a long boat ride- tolerable but weird. The unusual characteristics don’t stop there- aasimar/tiefling hybrids will live exactly twice as long as their longest -lived parent, down to the day, and will be twice as tall. strange creatures!!!
that’s super cool, I could write all sorts of stories about this. by why don’t they have faces?
they dont need them
Rations for various RPG Races
[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]
Universal:
Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.
Discussion thread here.
Dwarf:
Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.
Discussion thread here.
Elf:
Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Halfling:
From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.
Discussion thread here.
Half-Orc:
Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread “black strap”, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Orc:
Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Gnome:
Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Lizardfolk:
Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow:
From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow will also eat A Fucking Rock if it’s goth enough
#this rules to such a ridiculous degree im aghast
you know what im gonna reblog this to my main as well as my aesthetic blog because this post kicked my ass
Too nerdy to not share. I love it!
Helpful things for action writers to remember
Sticking a landing will royally fuck up your joints and possibly shatter your ankles, depending on how high you’re jumping/falling from. There’s a very good reason free-runners dive and roll.
Hand-to-hand fights usually only last a matter of seconds, sometimes a few minutes. It’s exhausting work and unless you have a lot of training and history with hand-to-hand combat, you’re going to tire out really fast.
Arrows are very effective and you can’t just yank them out without doing a lot of damage. Most of the time the head of the arrow will break off inside the body if you try pulling it out, and arrows are built to pierce deep. An arrow wound demands medical attention.
Throwing your opponent across the room is really not all that smart. You’re giving them the chance to get up and run away. Unless you’re trying to put distance between you so you can shoot them or something, don’t throw them.
Everyone has something called a “flinch response” when they fight. This is pretty much the brain’s way of telling you “get the fuck out of here or we’re gonna die.” Experienced fighters have trained to suppress this. Think about how long your character has been fighting. A character in a fist fight for the first time is going to take a few hits before their survival instinct kicks in and they start hitting back. A character in a fist fight for the eighth time that week is going to respond a little differently.
ADRENALINE WORKS AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FIGHT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. A lot of times people think that adrenaline will kick in and give you some badass fighting skills, but it’s actually the opposite. Adrenaline is what tires you out in a battle and it also affects the fighter’s efficacy - meaning it makes them shaky and inaccurate, and overall they lose about 60% of their fighting skill because their brain is focusing on not dying. Adrenaline keeps you alive, it doesn’t give you the skill to pull off a perfect roundhouse kick to the opponent’s face.
Swords WILL bend or break if you hit something hard enough. They also dull easily and take a lot of maintenance. In reality, someone who fights with a sword would have to have to repair or replace it constantly.
Fights get messy. There’s blood and sweat everywhere, and that will make it hard to hold your weapon or get a good grip on someone.
A serious battle also smells horrible. There’s lots of sweat, but also the smell of urine and feces. After someone dies, their bowels and bladder empty. There might also be some questionable things on the ground which can be very psychologically traumatizing. Remember to think about all of the character’s senses when they’re in a fight. Everything WILL affect them in some way.
If your sword is sharpened down to a fine edge, the rest of the blade can’t go through the cut you make. You’ll just end up putting a tiny, shallow scratch in the surface of whatever you strike, and you could probably break your sword.
ARCHERS ARE STRONG TOO. Have you ever drawn a bow? It takes a lot of strength, especially when you’re shooting a bow with a higher draw weight. Draw weight basically means “the amount of force you have to use to pull this sucker back enough to fire it.” To give you an idea of how that works, here’s a helpful link to tell you about finding bow sizes and draw weights for your characters. (CLICK ME)
If an archer has to use a bow they’re not used to, it will probably throw them off a little until they’ve done a few practice shots with it and figured out its draw weight and stability.
People bleed. If they get punched in the face, they’ll probably get a bloody nose. If they get stabbed or cut somehow, they’ll bleed accordingly. And if they’ve been fighting for a while, they’ve got a LOT of blood rushing around to provide them with oxygen. They’re going to bleed a lot.
Here’s a link to a chart to show you how much blood a person can lose without dying. (CLICK ME)
If you want a more in-depth medical chart, try this one. (CLICK ME)
Hopefully this helps someone out there. If you reblog, feel free to add more tips for writers or correct anything I’ve gotten wrong here.
How to apply Writing techniques for action scenes:
- Short sentences. Choppy. One action, then another. When there’s a lull in the fight, take a moment, using longer phrases to analyze the situation–then dive back in. Snap, snap, snap. - Same thing with words - short, simple, and strong in the thick of battle. Save the longer syllables for elsewhere. - Characters do not dwell on things when they are in the heat of the moment. They will get punched in the face. Focus on actions, not thoughts. - Go back and cut out as many adverbs as possible. - No seriously, if there’s ever a time to use the strongest verbs in your vocabulary - Bellow, thrash, heave, shriek, snarl, splinter, bolt, hurtle, crumble, shatter, charge, raze - it’s now. - Don’t forget your other senses. People might not even be sure what they saw during a fight, but they always know how they felt. - Taste: Dry mouth, salt from sweat, copper tang from blood, etc - Smell: OP nailed it - Touch: Headache, sore muscles, tense muscles, exhaustion, blood pounding. Bruised knuckles/bowstring fingers. Injuries that ache and pulse, sting and flare white hot with pain. - Pain will stay with a character. Even if it’s minor. - Sound and sight might blur or sharpen depending on the character and their experience/exhaustion. Colors and quick movements will catch the eye. Loud sounds or noises from behind may serve as a fighter’s only alert before an attack. - If something unexpected happens, shifting the character’s whole attention to that thing will shift the Audience’s attention, too. - Aftermath. This is where the details resurface, the characters pick up things they cast aside during the fight, both literally and metaphorically. Fights are chaotic, fast paced, and self-centered. Characters know only their self, their goals, what’s in their way, and the quickest way around those threats. The aftermath is when people can regain their emotions, their relationships, their rationality/introspection, and anything else they couldn’t afford to think or feel while their lives were on the line.
Do everything you can to keep the fight here and now. Maximize the physical, minimize the theoretical. Keep things immediate - no theories or what ifs.
If writing a strategist, who needs to think ahead, try this: keep strategy to before-and-after fights. Lay out plans in calm periods, try to guess what enemies are thinking or what they will do. During combat, however, the character should think about his options, enemies, and terrain in immediate terms; that is, in shapes and direction. (Large enemy rushing me; dive left, circle around / Scaffolding on fire, pool below me / two foes helping each other, separate them.)
Lastly, after writing, read it aloud. Anyplace your tongue catches up on a fast moving scene, edit. Smooth action scenes rarely come on the first try.
More for martial arts or hand-to-hand in general
What a character’s wearing will affect how they fight. The more restricting the clothes, the harder it will be. If they’re wearing a skirt that is loose enough to fight in, modesty will be lost in a life or death situation.
Jewelry can also be very bad. Necklaces can be grabbed onto. Bracelets also can be grabbed onto or inhibit movement. Rings it can depend on the person.
Shoes also matter. Tennis shoes are good and solid, but if you’re unused to them there’s a chance of accidentally hurting your ankle. High heels can definitely be a problem. However, they can also make very good weapons, especially for someone used to balancing on the balls of their feet. Side kicks and thrusting kicks in soft areas (like the solar plexus) or the feet are good ideas. They can also (hopefully) be taken off quickly and used as a hand weapon. Combat boots are great but if someone relies more on speed or aren’t used to them, they can weigh a person down. Cowboy boots can be surprisingly good. Spin kicks (if a character is quick enough to use them) are especially nasty in these shoes.
If a character is going to fight barefoot, please keep location in mind. Concrete can mess up your feet quick. Lawns, yards, etc often have hidden holes and other obstacles that can mess up a fighter. Tile floors or waxed wood can be very slippery if you’re not careful or used to them.
Likewise, if it’s outside be aware of how weather will affect the fight. The sun’s glare can really impede a fighter’s sight. A wet location, inside or outside, can cause a fighter to slip and fall. Sweat on the body can cause a fighter to lose a grip on an opponent too.
Pressure points for a trained fighter are great places to aim for in a fight. The solar plexus is another great place to aim for. It will knock the wind out of anyone and immediately weaken your opponent.
It your character is hit in the solar plexus and isn’t trained, they’re going down. The first time you get hit there you are out of breath and most people double over in confusion and pain. If a fighter is more used to it, they will stand tall and expand themselves in order to get some breath. They will likely keep fighting, but until their breath returns to normal, they will be considerably weaker.
Do not be afraid to have your character use obstacles in their environment. Pillars, boxes, bookshelves, doors, etc. They put distance between you and an opponent which can allow you to catch your breath.
Do not be afraid to have your character use objects in their environment. Someone’s coming at you with a spear, trident, etc, then pick up a chair and get it caught in the legs or use it as a shield. Bedsheets can make a good distraction and tangle someone up. Someone’s invading your home and you need to defend yourself? Throw a lamp. Anything can be turned into a weapon.
Guns often miss their targets at longer distances, even by those who have trained heavily with them. They can also be easier to disarm as they only shoot in one direction. However, depending on the type, grabbing onto the top is a very very bad idea. There is a good likelihood you WILL get hurt.
Knives are nasty weapons by someone who knows what they’re doing. Good fighters never hold a knife the way you would when cutting food. It is best used when held against the forearm. In defense, this makes a block more effective and in offense, slashing movement from any direction are going to be bad. If a character is in a fight with a knife or trying to disarm one, they will get hurt.
Soft areas hit with hard body parts. Hard areas hit with soft body parts. The neck, stomach, and other soft areas are best hit with punches, side kicks, elbows, and other hard body parts. Head and other hard parts are best hit using a knife hand, palm strike, etc. Spin kicks will be nasty regardless of what you’re aiming for it they land.
Common misconception with round house kicks is that you’re hitting with the top of the foot. You’re hitting with the ball. You’re likely to break your foot when hitting with the top.
When punching, the thumb is outside of the fist. You’ll break something if you’re hitting with the thumb inside, which a lot of inexperienced fighters do.
Also, punching the face or jaw can hurt.
It can be hard to grab a punch if you’re not experienced with it despite how easy movies make it seem. It’s best to dodge or redirect it.
Hitting to the head is not always the best idea. It can take a bit of training to be able to reach for the head with a kick because of the height. Flexibility is very much needed. If there are problems with their hips or they just aren’t very flexible, kicks to the head aren’t happening.
Jump kicks are a good way to hit the head, but an opponent will see it coming if it’s too slow or they are fast/experienced.
A good kick can throw an opponent back or knock them to the ground. If the person you’ve hit has experience though, they’ll immediately be getting up again.
Even if they’ve trained for years in a martial art, if they haven’t actually hit anything before or gotten hit, it will be slightly stunning for the person. It does not feel the way you expect it too.
Those yells in martial arts are not just for show. If done right, they tighten your core making it easier to take a hit in that area. Also, they can be used to intimidate an opponent. Yelling or screaming right by their ear can startle someone. (Generally, KHR fans look at Squalo for yelling)
Biting can also be used if someone’s grabbing you. Spitting in someone’s eyes can’t hurt. Also, in a chokehold or if someone is trying to grab your neck in general, PUT YOU CHIN DOWN. This cuts off access and if they’re grabbing in the front can dig into their hand and hurt.
Wrist grabs and other grabs can be good. Especially if it’s the first move an opponent makes and the character is trained, there are simple ways to counter that will have a person on their knees in seconds..
Use what your character has to their advantage. If they’re smaller or have less mass, then they’ll be relying on speed, intelligence, evasion, and other similar tactics. Larger opponents will be able to take hits better, they’re hits may be slower depending on who it is but will hurt like hell if they land, and size can be intimidating. Taller people with longer legs will want to rely on kicking and keeping their distance since they have the advantage there. Shorter people will want to keep the distance closer where it’s easier for them but harder for a taller opponent. Punching is a good idea.
Using a person’s momentum against them is great. There’s martial arts that revolve around this whole concept. They throw a punch? Grab it and pull them forward and around. Their momentum will keep them going and knock them off balance.
Leverage can used in the same way. If used right, you can flip a person, dislocate a shoulder, throw out a knee, etc.
One note on adrenaline: All that was said above is true about it. But, in a fight, it can also make you more aware of what’s going on. A fight that lasts twenty seconds can feel like a minute because time seems to almost slow down while moving extremely rapidly. You only have so much time to think about what you’re doing. You’re taking in information constantly and trying to adjust. Even in the slow down adrenaline gives you, everything is moving very rapidly.
Feelings will be your downfall even more so than adrenaline. Adrenaline can make those feelings more intense, but a good fighter has learned not to listen to those feelings. A good fighter may feel anger at being knocked down or in some way humiliated - their pride taken down. Yet they will not act on the anger. Acting on it makes a fighter more instinctive and many will charge without thinking. Losing control of anything (adrenaline rush, emotions, technique, etc) can be a terrible thing in a fight.
Just thought I’d add in here.
YES. YES.
Such good writing tips! @myebi
@jmlascar you’ve probably seen this already, but in case you haven’t, it’s got some good info on fight scenes :)
Pretty important for the scenes I’m focusing on right now. Thanks for the writing tips!!
This has crossed my dash before, but I forgot to reblog it.

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You stand in front of the entrance to heaven together with two other people. The person in front of you is allowed to walk through the gates. The second person is told he is supposed to go to hell. Then it’s your turn. After a long wait you hear them say “It appears you are not listed.”
Letting out a tired sigh, "It was one bet. One bet! And it was ages ago!" Dropping the moldy, old turnip to the ground, the candle within going out with a hiss, "Please. For pity's sake." I begged with tear flowing freely, "Haven't I suffered enough? I've wandered without stop, carrying nothing more than an apple to start, only being able to change it out once a year for a turnip. Nowadays, they make the lanterns from pumpkins! Please. I'm sorry." Falling to my knees, "I don't care any more. Whether it's these gates or the gates of Hell. I'll even take an eternity in purgatory. Please. No more. Please. Don't leave me in the darkness, all by myself any more..."
Your church-going, God-worshipping sister adopted a small child and you’re excited to see them. But when you do, the child is a menace. They’re throwing things everywhere, setting furniture on fire with seemingly nothing, chanting in Latin to summon demons, but the weirdest thing is that your sister doesn’t seem to mind.
“You literally adopted the antichrist, Anne. What the fuck.”
“Yeah, I knew when I saw him at the orphanage. I figured if the kid had some decent fucking parenting that we could avoid the whole ‘Revelations’ shite. Nasty business, that.”
George, who’s name has been kindly changed from Damien, approaches his new mother with a huge spider in his hands. It promptly bursts into flames.
“Good job, love. Now go find the rest.” George’s face makes no expression, but his eyes shine when he recieves a pat on the head for his efforts.
As the months go by, George seems to settle down. He adjusts to school, friends, and the positive reinforcement Anne gives him. She encourages the good he does, even though the powers he uses aren’t “good”. When she gets calls from the school, it’s about a rambunctious boy that won’t sit still. Not a destroyer of the world and innocence.
It’s at Christmas dinner, that you let slip your amazement to your mother. How good Anne is for him and how he’s improved a lot. Still summoning hellhounds for games of fetch, though.
“Oh, he’ll forget how to do that when he falls in love the first time,” Your mother laughs, smiling wide.
“How do you know that,” you ask bewildered.
“Because, you did.”
okay so someone please write the story of the family of super-low-key holy warriors who have made it their mission to locate the antichrist in every generation (because when one gets spoiled they try AGAIN) and adopt them and love them into not being the antichrist anymore, thus perpetually delaying the apocalypse
delaying the apocalypse via good parenting I love this
I would love to read this
So... the Addams family?
My whole family owns/operates/works in Chinese restaurants so lemme tell you: -We chop all our vegetables FRESH -We butcher our own chicken from whole chickens (we strip the breasts/tenders from the torso; we debone the thigh meat) -We use the bones to make chicken stock for our soups -We roast our own pork/ribs in an in-house smoker -We peel and devein all of our shrimp BY HAND (this is what i did as a kid) -We make our own dumplings/wontons/egg roll/spring rolls/breaded shrimp BY HAND (none of these are frozen) -We used to make our own dumpling dough from scratch, but it was a lot of work and we switched to premade but many other places still do this -All sauces and marinates are made by hand (no premade/store bought) -All gravy is made by hand from scratch -All soups are made from scratch -Egg Foo Young takes FOREVER TO MAKE (there are like 7 different steps and you can only make one order at a time) -An average take out restaurant has 3-6 employees (oftentimes family) -Most employees work 6 days a week/60-70 hours a week -Many employees live with their employers, sometimes very far away from their families (ie a father sending money back to his wife and kids in China) -Owners (such as my parents) usually work 7 days a week, 364 days a year (we close on thanksgiving) -Oftentimes kids will be helping out/hanging around bc they can’t afford childcare (I’ve been cashiering since i was 10) SO WITH ALL THIS IN MIND, it’s really hurtful when someone complains about our prices. Averaging $5-$10/person (which is FAST FOOD LEVEL PRICES), the food you get has fresh vegetables, fresh meat, no weird preservatives—all cooked to order. “HOW MUCH did you say this cost??? WHEEEEW!” “You’re taking all my money!” “(Asks for extra thing) Why does that cost extra?” “So what do i get for free for spending $20?” “How’s your pork made? It ain’t dog meat, is it?” —all hurtful things I’ve personally heard and had to grin and bear For some reason, it seems people don’t respect Chinese restaurants. You would never treat a Western-owned restaurant like this. Even places like PF Chang and Panda Express (who DO NOT use fresh ingredients) can overcharge out the wazoo but no one complains because they’re oftentimes being served by Western faces. It really hurts for people to act like my family’s hard work isn’t worth anything to them. Treat your locally owned business with respect. Treat your Chinese restaurants with respect. Really think about the food you’re getting and all the work that goes into it. Think of all the hard working people behind bringing you this meal you’re about to enjoy, a meal you didn’t have to prepare (this goes for fast food too). Above all else, TREAT OTHER HUMAN BEINGS WITH BASIC DIGNITY.
^^^ all of this. Read it.
As a chef, Asian food is very complex and intriguing. Please respect the craft!
Always. I enjoy good Chinese cuisine, and pay for a good experience. Certainly would like to have this type of cooking when I return.
He is, however, perfectly willing to fuck with time and reality.
And also steal your infants.
He didn’t steal anything. She literally asked him to take the baby. Don’t make him the bad guy just because she was a shitty sister.
I think you are severely misinformed as to how baby ownership works.
It was not her baby to give.
David Bowie is unquestionably the villain.
Which do you think existed first, modern custody legislature, or the goblin king?
The girl was entrusted by her parents with the care and custody of the child. By the laws governing the goblin king and his transactions, the girl was the current rightful owner of the child and made a deal with the king to take the child. Perhaps you’re not familiar with english folklore. Fae have rules, they’re tricksters, they can be sneaky, but they never break the rules.
Slammin’ it down in the Labyrinth fandom tonight, kids.
✨ 👻 ~ Gengar Crossbreeds! ~ 👻 ✨
I love this purple smiling joker a lot so I wanted see them fused with the other Pokemon in their egg group. If these were real you can bet that my entire team would just be all Gengars~
@dovahheim

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
‘Rat Park’ -Stuart McMillen
You’ll never think about drug addiction the same way again after reading this comic.
What I found absolutely impressive and stunning about this comic is the way the artist explained the identification and elimination of the confounding factors in the Rat Park study. This is one of the hardest parts of experiments to explain to the public, and I think it was just brilliantly done.
Range buddy's CZ Scorpion Evo .9mm carbine. I took it up when sis was complain about how hard it was to hit anything. Belly button poke and head miss was testing to see how much 2 inch drop and a "smidge to the left" was. If you squint a bit, you can see Michael Jordan dunking towards the right in the chest cavity. And I apparently tried to give it eyes and a partial smile to match the smile on my face after.