Danny has gotten a high paying job! And he gets to work with a celebrity!
Danny gets a job as the Wayne's PA, and while working with Bruce, he notices something.
The dude's a ditz, for sure, but also.
Also...
He isn't.
Danny realizes it's an act, and that actual ditzyness from the professionals around him drive his new boss up a wall.
But Bruce can't actually point it out, or he reveals that he isn't as ditzy as they say.
Danny decides to have fun; with his powers, he can play an even bigger himbo than Bruce Wayne. (Intangibility will be sure to outplay the Prince of Gotham's clumsiness).
Every time he does his job well, he makes sure to do it in an oblivious fashion that seems like it's going to fail, but then works beautifully.
It's a lot of work, but...the subtle eye twitch of internalized rage? The forced exhale of a quiet, agonized scream of frustration? The sometimes subconscious clenching of the man's fist?
Fucking worth it.
Basically, Danny realizes he can antagonize the richest man in America and still not get fired; the fic.
I bet Joker would be jealous of the fact that he is slowly being unseated from his place as Bruce's true arch nemesis if he actually knew Batman and Bruce Wayne were the same person.
Batman: *staking out Fenton (at home or out is your choice)*
Joker: guess what Ba-
Batman: CAN'T YOU TAKE A VACATION OR SOMETHING I AM BUSY
Joker: ...
So of course the Joker has to kill this guy distracting Batman from him
Except. Danny kinda mastered the art of Himbo'ing his way to success.
And the whole point was that it's infuriating.
If there's anyone everyone would want to infuriate (if they knew they could survive) it'd be the Joker.
I'm suggesting Danny using his knowledge of Himbology for self-defense.
Batman is losing his mind.
If Joker says "this is a murder" Danny's just "but...isn't it just a crowbar?" *confused head tilt*
Joker goes in for a swing? Danny "just notices" a coin on the ground and Joker misses. And it just...goes on like that.
Every. Time.
He even tries to snipe him once, while he's opening a window. Danny dodges - ofc completely by chance. *looks at the now shattered vase* "I didn't know the decor in here was so fragile, that wasn't even that much wind???"
Danny: I think I triple booked you :’(
Bruce: *internally seething* that’s okay Danny
Danny: *booked all three together because he realized it would be faster to fix The Problem™️ and once Bruce realizes this it’s gonna drive him NUTS*
IMAGINE Danny calling up every ounce of Jack Fenton in his body to really sell it— Maddie came to visit him and she gave him anecdotes to use as inspiration. The next time she came to visit, she brought Jack, because Danny got those eyes from her, thank you, regardless of their color, and she can see perfectly fine
Bruce is going FUCKING NUTS— his PA’s entire FAMILY is just HIMBOS and it’s MOSTLY WOMEN
PLEASE imagine Dani, Jazz and Maddie all going out of their way to take their cues from Jack JUST to piss Bruce off
Bruce would be so annoyedthat he’d PURPOSELY FORGET to look into them because he just cannot take more of them at this point, and the cave is supposed to be his safe place, okay?! Meanwhile, he’d barely have to scratch the surface to find out Dani is a clone, Jack and Maddie are mad scientists, Jazz makes politicians cry for a living and is mentoring under Dinah Lance, and Danny’s godfather has a son that looks VERY much like Danny named DAN, and, oh, also, his town has a history of large-scale attacks that probably should’ve made national news
But. Bruce is Annoyed. So, he won’t. Because he’s annoyed. And I think it’s funny.
The Fentons' are now Jason favorite people for a couple reasons.
They drive B-Man crazy with there Himboness (even the women)
2. The way Danny is driving the Joker absolutely nuts with his "coincidental" avoidances.
3. Jason, who has made it one of his goals to drive Bruce to madness anyway possible, can absolutely tell all of them (except Jack) are faking it for the most part.
4. Jazz is totally his type (a tall, smart woman who can kick his ass).
All of the batkids clock it. And just can't help but feed it. It's too funny. This PA clocked that Brucie is a mask, and at Her than out him played up an even more himbo act.
Jason: Why. I need to know?
Danny: He hates it so much. My friend says eat the rich. I say Fuck with their mental health!
Jason:.... Think your parents would adopt me?
Danny: Oh for sure!
And later, shopping
"Hey Danny-" Jason began, about to warn his new friend of an incoming sniper. Before he could, Danny held up a bath towel and took a step back. In one smooth motion, he unfurled it before giving it a single shake. Just at that moment, a single bullet hit a glass jar that Danny had stood in front of, causing it to shatter and spray shards all around. Shards which were deflected by one shake of the towel.
"Yes?" Danny queried, not fazed by the assassination attempt. "Is it about the quality of my towel choice, I'm inclined to agree. The texture is bit too coarse for my liking"
Joker behind the scope is seething with rage. How! How did the brat keep doing this!!!!
He's tried everything! Poison? Drops the food! Shooting? Somehow dodges! Rogue attacks? Bumbles his way to saving the day! Why won't be just die!
"Hellllloooooo," A feminine voice called throughout the manor.
Bruce tensed up, his Brucie smile became strained as he greeted his guest, "Hello, Ms. Fenton. Danny isn't here." Now go away.
Jazz giggled, fully embracing an airheaded personality. She exaggeratly waved her hand in a dismissive manner, "I'm not here for Danny. And it's Dr. Fenton, but please call me Jazz."
Burce raised an eyebrow. If Jazz wasn't here for her brother, then why was she here? Bruce mentally pleaded to any deity that she wasn't here for him. He'd already met his daily quota for Fenton himboness. He couldn't take another dose.
He was about to ask what business brought Jazz when his second eldest entered the room, walked over, and threw an arm around Jazz's shoulders.
"Ready to go?" Jason asked.
"Go?" Bruce echoed.
Jazz leaned into Jason. "Jason is taking me to the movies."
Burces took it back. Whatever deity that granted Bruce's earlier request, he took it back.
A week later, Bruce had an aneurysm when Jason asked if he could have Martha's ring to propose.
Jason: So, love, why the family himbo act?
Jazz: Danny clocked Brucie as a mask. He wants to see what it will take to break him. What kind of older sister would I be if I didn't support his chaos?
Jason: That is deeply petty. Your brother is peak petty. That is glorious.
It's very important that the Fentons remain hypercompetent despite the himbo act.
In person you wonder how they can breathe and speak at the same time, on paper they're virtuosos in their fields.
Also Jason is the only one who knows, for certain, that the Fentons are smarter than they appear.
Tim and Lucius have their suspensions, based on how smoothly things have been since Danny became Bruce’s PA.
Bruce can't decide if Danny is seriously stupid or if he's trolling.
Danny comes up with the idea to make it seem like the Himbo-ness is contagious. He proposes the idea to Jason, who agrees.
Fentons be out here thriving on toon logic and episodic hijinks that always end up better than okay.
Bruce is brooding over having his genre forcibly flipped from gritty to sitcom.
Danny evading the Joker like a drunken boxing master only instead of king fu it’s the slapstick defense. He literally slipped on a banana peel to get out of the way of a tranq.
Failing successfully. It’s an art form. And like those trendy hairstyles, it actually takes a lot of work and preparation to look this effortlessly stupid. But it’s worth it.
Jason becomes Danny’s student in the art of the infuriatingly dumb.

























