I've been thinking about TLG and the miscommunication and how it goes sideways between them and it's just that... Shane is used to denying himself things for a cause. Like that's his go to technique, miss this miss that don't do this don't experience that and you get to do what you want the most, which is being on the top of the hockey world. And it works. But also, these denials never affected people around him, at least not directly.
And he does the same in TLG; give up the openness of the present for future payoff and the rest of their lives together. Ilya agreed, they are (supposedly) on the same page, it's all going according to plan.
Ilya though. He's used to giving up things for others. And unlike Shane, he didn't get a chance to choose what to deny himself of, he was presented with what he has to give up to... well, the reasons are unclear, but in his mind it's probably connected to getting love. Earning love. After giving enough things up, finally reaching a point where he deserves love some day.
So when Shane's plan includes Ilya giving up success for a while, giving up an open relationship for a while, it's just business as usual, right? It's normal. And he has already been thinking along these lines anyway, because if he wants things to change, he has to cut the change out of himself, as he always had to. And he doesn't know how to ask for things, he can only give and hope to receive. And Shane says he will so he waits and waits and believes and empties himself in the meantime. And it's not like how it was with his family, because it's Shane and he trusts Shane they love each other and they Will get to the payoff stage... right? They will, right?
He should be able to do this, he has done this his whole life, but he's so hungry. He's never been this hungry his whole life and Shane says he wants to give him everything but he's still holding almost everything just out of reach.
And he doesn't know that Shane wouldn't want Ilya to give things up. Shane would be (and will be) horrified to know what this all cost Ilya. But he can't know, because their approach and connotations to not getting things are so different.
