Helpless Daydreamer

I still love you but I no longer like you

these other guys mean nothing to me… you’re all that I want

my body feels the grief before my brain even registers what day it is

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello” Paulo Coelho

there’s no going back after my yiayia says you have a cold heart

“this is how I perceive my reality. I was the first person who was in his life that actually presented a future, and that scared him. I scared him. The potential of us scared him. So he focused less on love and more on sex. He wanted more than I could give him so soon. So he went to find that somewhere else. Despite how he feels about me. Because he doesn’t want to feel right now. He’s scared of feeling so strongly and what that will lead us to. I think he was a different person before he met me — a person that he was ashamed of and tried to shield from me. He had low self esteem and thought he didn’t deserve me. And he doesn’t, I know this now. I think he tried his best to love me but isn’t capable at the moment. He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to feel. He’s scared. So he pushed me away and ran. I understand why he’s doing what he is doing. It’s not about me or a lack of love but rather old wounds that have yet to be healed. Hurt people hurt people. It just sucks that I now have to face the repercussions.”