“Ugh!” 

Everything in the universe seemed to team up against you lately. There was not even a second for a break as one thing kept coming after another.

First, the subway broke down. Halfway to your classes. Causing you to run late and sweaty, bursting through the door like a wild animal, startling even your professor.

There was not much to say besides mumbling apologies and looking at the floor in shame. You had never felt as embarrassed as in that moment. Everything was spilling from your shoulder bag while it kept sliding down your arm.

It could’ve been hot in the room, but you definitely were aware that the heat on your cheeks was there for a different reason.

Of course, it was. Everybody stared at you, it was mortifying.

That was not the worst part of your day, however. 

Just as you were about to play one of the songs you had prepared for another class, one of the guitar strings decided to give out, quickly changing your A grade to a zero.

The professor was not too happy with you and the circumstances—like you wanted your instrument to fuck it up.

Maybe you should have taken a second guitar with you after all. Your best friend had joked about it before you’d left for the day. Back then, you’d thought it was the stupidest idea ever.

You hated how it became something you wished you had done now.

But it was not the end.

Because right after that class, the coffee machine decided to be a goddamm bitch today, shooting the stream to the side, causing it to bounce off the cup and right at your new, white dress shirt.

Your stomach felt like on fire, making you quickly move to the side while grabbing napkins and attempting to block more liquid from spilling.

It was unfortunate, really. Your internship interview was supposed to take place later in the day. Now, the outfit was ruined.

And your chances of getting to the corporate world at Dream Academy probably as well.

“Here you go, Clumsy.” Your tired eyes raised from the table, squinting when the sun shone right into them as the girl threw something in front of you.

It only became bearable to look when Sophia blocked the stray of light, letting you finally see her amused and judgmental expression.

“What is—”

“A new shirt.” She said before you could even get a full sentence out, putting the straw between her lips, and slurping on her smoothie.

Your shocked face quickly dropped to the item, ruffling through the bag before taking out what made your shoulders feel light like a feather.

“God, you’re an angel.” The relief washed over you like a bucket of cold water at the sight of the clean clothing.

“I know.” She did not even try to be humble as smugness spread on her every facial feature.

You would let that go without a bite back this time. She was too nice. She saved your life—possibly your entire future career. You had to be kind. You could not be a dick right now.

“I thought the guitar incident was funny, but I decided to come to your rescue after you texted about this.” She pointed at the stain on your shirt with raised eyebrows.

Yup, it was still there. You tried to cover up the best you could. Which was not a lot. It was hot outside, so you hadn’t taken anything additional. The only thing you could do was to put your shoulder bag at the front.

You could not help but roll your eyes at the judgmental look she served you with again. Unbuttoning the dirty piece of clothing, you slowly started pulling it down your arms, uncovering a white t-shirt underneath.

“Don’t even say anything, today is shit.”

The girl snorted immediately, her lips spreading into an amused smile as her hands embraced the cup.

“Like yesterday?” She asked. “And the day before? And the day before that one too—”

“Okay.” You said defeated, throwing the dirty shirt on the table with a frown. “It hasn’t been my—month or two, I guess.” 

“More like five.” Your face dropped at her nonchalance, how flawlessly the words flew out of her mouth before she sipped on her drink.

Like she had been dying to finally say it.

But she was not wrong. It’d been pretty terrible for a while. Like nothing could stay on the good path. Nothing could go well in your life.

“And—” Sophia started in a sing-song voice as she dragged out the word while scrolling on her phone. “The very reason of it is currently walking here.”

Huh?

The confusion hit you like a truck when your brows scrunched at her.

“Hi.” That was all it took for your eyes to gauge out of their sockets.

This was the last thing—or person—you needed around now. Sophia knew it by the look she gave you before gazing up.

“Hey, Dani.” Your best friend replied with a wide smile.

A smile.

Why was she smiling? There was nothing to smile about. Especially, so happily? No.

You sent her a small glare—which she ignored—while staying silent and grabbing the new dress shirt.

Those months of not being great? You blamed Daniela for it. In a figurative way. It was not really her fault. However, ever since you had broken up, everything had been going to shit.

You could not have a normal day. Not even one. Maybe because your two-year relationship had vanished like nothing. Maybe because you were still mad at her. 

Or maybe it was a coincidence.

But there was also a very small—big really—possibility as to why your life had seemed to take a course to ruin itself.

“I’m hosting a party at the sorority house.” Your ex said in a chirpy tone. The same one she stopped using with you five months ago. “Obviously, you’re invited.”

Your eyes mentally rolled, a smug smile almost threatened to break on your face as you knew Sophia’s answer already.

“I will be there for sure.”

Or not. Maybe you did not know.

Your head slowly tilted at the girl as if to say ‘what the fuck?’. Because what the fuck? Clearly, there was a traitor in your pack of two.

And it was not you.

You inhaled through your nose, your shoulders raising as you bit the inside of your cheek, raising an eyebrow at Sophia.

It seemed to catch Daniela’s attention when her eyes moved to you, turning annoyed. Like you were a nuisance.

“I guess you can come too.” Her bored tone made your tongue click while she stared at her nails.

“So generous of you.” Your eyes blinked rapidly as you finally moved your gaze to her.

It had been a while since you actually looked at her face. Burying yourself in work and studying definitely helped with ignoring Daniela.

At least, for a little bit.

“A little bit of charity work never hurt anybody, right?” Her lips spread into a warm grin, but you knew better.

She ever only smiled like that when she knew she would win. And she was winning now. Because you had no idea what to say back.

You could only stare at the table while running your tongue over your upper teeth.

Maybe she was not guilty of your shitty months, but she was definitely to blame for her assholish behavior.

“Anyway.” She breathed out like talking to you took too much of her energy. “See you at the party, Soph.”

“Sure thing.” The black-haired girl replied, grinning widely as your ex turned around and walked away.

Your eyes zeroed in on—who you thought was—your best friend as they squinted.

“Sure thing?” You mocked her lightly. “Really?”

“What?” She asked defensively. “She’s just trying to be nice.”

Your eyes widened to the size of an orbit. Nice? Since the hell when? You had not seen nice from Daniela even a bit since your break-up.

“Did we witness the same conversation or were you on a different planet?”

“Oh my God.” Her eyes rolled. “You’re acting like you hate her when we both know the truth.”

Well, that closed your mouth really fast. And when you tried to open it back up, only stutters and incoherent words came out of it.

“N-no, I—well—it’s not—”

“Honestly.” She gave you a look that said more than enough how done she was with this charade. “Either get over her, or get her under you.”

You almost choked on air while Sophia slurped on her smoothie, staring at you boredly.

“W-what? I don’t—” Blowing a raspberry, you quickly looked to the side, feeling the heat spreading on your cheeks.

There was nothing you could say to defend yourself. You still loved Daniela. You still wanted her. You still regretted the break-up. It was the most idiotic and smartest decision at the same time.

Good for your sanity and peace. But not for your heart. You missed her. But it was easier to act like you did not care. It was simpler to pretend and mimic her behavior. 

Because she clearly was over you. Otherwise, she would not turn into your biggest bully on the campus.

“Yes, you do.” Your best friend stated firmly, uncrossing her legs and moving them to the side. “And maybe going to that party will only help with clearing things up for you.” Her shoulders shrugged as she finished her drink.

“No, because I won’t be there.”

“Yes, you will.”

“Nope.” You popped the ‘p’, folding your hands on the table.

“You’re going whether you want it or not.” Sophia said sternly, getting up from her seat.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

You were going to the party. With Sophia. Right at your side. Like some babysitter who wanted to make sure you would not run off.

Your grumpy expression hadn’t come off ever since she had forced you to get dressed—after picking your outfit.

Yeah, you couldn’t have even picked your own damn clothes. At least, she chose nice and comfortable things. But you hadn’t missed how she’d hung up on the shirts, running through them before picking the one Daniela had always liked on you.

Liked was a misunderstanding. Her pupils would blow fully every time you had worn it.

“Stop being so awkward.” Sophia scolded you, smacking your arm, and bringing you out of your thoughts. 

Her entire body shook as she groaned loudly with an unhappy face, fixing her leather jacket as if you had just offended her.

“Me? You’re the one who’s been fidgety the whole way here.” You fired back instantly, pointing at the girl and her fiddling fingers.

Her brows furrowed before she dropped her gaze. She quickly tensed her hands and crossed her arms while giving you a look like you had nothing against her anymore.

“Why are you even anxious? It’s not your ex that is hosting the party.”

Her eyes rolled before she sent you a light glare.

“I’m not anxious.”

“Uh-hu, sure.” She should know better than lie about this. 

You’d known each other since elementary school. Every tick, every little reaction she would make, you knew. You could recognize the patterns right away.

“Ugh, you’re making me anxious.” She exclaimed, slapping your arm again while looking at you irritated.

The punch injected immeasurable amount of puzzlement into you. Because there was nothing you had done lately to make her mad.

“What the hell did I do?!” Your shoulders raised as your hands gestured at your chest. “You are literally forcing me to go to this stupid party.”

“You need to face your demons!” She almost yelled out, face determined like she just delivered the strongest line in her entire life.

But you could only stare at her with a blank expression.

“I face her every day!” 

“You need to face her more!”

Your little yelling match was taking up so much of your attention that neither of you noticed how close to the house you were.

“Hey, guys!” Not until one of the girls yelled out to you.

Both of your heads snapped with wide eyes as she waved. Grins plastered on your faces right away, greeting the girl back as you reached the door, hoping she did not hear anything.

“All the good stuff is inside.” Megan said with a wide smile, throwing a wink in the process.

Of course, there would be good stuff. Not drugs. No, never. Just a bunch of different alcohol. Daniela’s family lived pretty comfortably, so she had money for more expensive liquor.

That was why everyone loved her parties—which increased in number since your break-up. You had laughed to your best friend that it had been a long break-up celebration even for Daniela. But you did not find it funny.

Laugh through the pain, right?

Without another word, you and Sophia headed inside. Your hands were sweating, causing you to constantly wipe them on your pants.

This was already a nightmare. You did not need this. Why were you even here? You could’ve fought her back one hundred percent. 

But you did not.

You let her force you.

You let Sophia bring you here.

And now, you wanted to leave.

“You’re not going anywhere, Pup.” The black-haired girl said, staring ahead while your eyes whipped to her. “I can literally read your thoughts.” Her gaze lazily moved to you. “They are written all over your face.”

You could only scoff with an eye roll. 

Sometimes, it was really inconvenient how well she knew you.

“Just let loose.” She said, shrugging her shoulders with a grin. But it soon turned into a smirk as she looked at you. “I heard there is someone with a crush on you.”

Your eyes widened, mouth dropping open, causing the girl to laugh almost evilly. And just like that, she started walking away, slowly disappearing in the sea of people.

“Wait!” You finally snapped out of the shock. “Who?!”

Nothing about your behavior screamed ‘let loose’. It did not even whisper it. You were anxiously standing to the side, watching everybody at the party like a hawk.

Sophia’s words had been haunting you for the last hour. A crush. Whose crush? Who could it be? You needed to know, so you could avoid them. 

You were not scared of people liking you, but it was not necessarily ideal to have others hit on you. Not when you were in your current emotional state—which was severely damaged.

Nothing in you was ready for a new relationship. Heck, you still wanted your previous one back. But you would not tell anybody. 

Besides Sophia, of course.

Who had been gone almost this whole time. You’d seen her maybe three times. Once outside, another time in the hallway, and one more in the kitchen as she had talked to Manon.

Daniela’s best friend.

You thought it was weird.

But again. 

During your relationship, all three girls had gotten pretty close, so it was not really surprising that Manon and Sophia tried to maintain their friendship.

The lack of your best friend’s presence around you caused your previous complaints about her babysitting to vanish. You would love to have Sophia with you now.

You did not appreciate what you had. Not enough. And now, you felt dizzy from all the noise, crowd, and constant nerves spiking at every girl who would come up to you.

You did not want to string anyone along. You would nicely reject the person as soon as possible.

“Did you get stuck here?” A voice snapped your head to the side.

A gorgeous, dark-skinned girl with a nose piercing was grinning up at you as she held a red cup.

You knew her. Not well, but enough to realize who she was.

Lara Raj.

“Uh—” You stuttered, not having an idea of what to say back. “No, why?”

“Well, for starters, you’ve been glued to this wall ever since you came here.” Lara pointed out, her voice calm and collected.

But a hint of teasing was swirling in it as she squinted one of her eyes in a playful manner.

“Oh.” You huffed out a laugh. “I’m just not really uh—a partying type.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Her sarcastic comment caused another chuckle to pass your lips as you looked down shyly. It did not help when you saw her tongue run along her teeth as she looked you up and down. “Let’s dance.”

The next second, she was putting her cup away and grabbing your hand. Your face tensed in horror, feeling your heartbeat pick up the pace like a Formula 1 race car.

“Oh, I’m not— I mean, I don’t really—” 

“It’s gonna be fun!” She exclaimed happily, not letting go, and dragging you deeper into the sea of people.

Your mouth went dry at how close everyone was to each other. How close they were going to be to you. That only made things worse. You did not want to feel their sweaty bodies grind on yours.

Seemed like you would not have much choice when Lara’s face whipped around, turning back to you, and getting really, really, close.

“So tight in here.” She husked out with a grin while pushing her body almost flush against yours.

“Mhm.” Your lips pressed tightly as you nodded, trying not to lose your shit.

You hadn’t even had a chance to get it back together yet.

Lara’s arms went up as she danced, swaying her body and hips. Her movements put her even closer to you, causing you to back up as much as you could.

She took it as an opportunity to turn around, backing her ass into you with vigor, rubbing it against your crotch like her life depended on it.

It would be flattering—maybe even enjoyable—in any other situation. But not this one. Not when you did not want to have anything to do with any girl.

Your face undoubtedly flushed crimson red from how awkward and embarrassed you felt. It felt like a pair of eyes was burning a hole in your face. But you could not be sure.

It very well could be just the heat Lara was trying to put on you. Attempting to get away did not succeed when you realized people behind you were like a stone wall, blocking your way entirely.

This was horrible—in a sense. From everyone else’s point of you, there was nothing to complain about. A pretty girl grinding on you, throwing herself all over your body. Clearly wanting you.

Who wouldn’t want that?

You.

You wouldn’t want that.

And then it struck you.

The girl with a crush. It had to be her. Your body only stiffened more at the realization. Dancing—or more like standing since you were doing nothing but cosplaying a goddamn marble statue—with her would only send the wrong message.

It had to stop. Right now.

“I’m gonna get a drink.” You said loudly, hoping she would hear through the music as you were about to turn around.

“We can get them later.” She was not about to let you go so easily. Her hand clasped with yours, pulling you back to her.

So strongly that your body collided with hers. A mischievous smirk curled up on her face as she sneaked her hands up your body.

“What’s the rush?” Her innocent words did not match her not-so-innocent actions.

This was dangerous—in the most horrible way.

“Uh—” You stuttered, losing thoughts and words at the proximity you were put in. 

Her nose almost brushing against yours. Her lips getting closer when she tilted her chin up. Her hooded eyes trying to screw you right in this spot.

And that was when you felt it. Her sneaky fingers reaching your belt, playing with its buckle.

“I-I gotta go.” Quickly freeing yourself from her grasp, you did not waste time pushing through the crowd. 

No doubt a person or two got elbowed on the way. But you could not care. You had to break free from Lara’s grip.

Just to fall right in Daniela’s furious face. Her mouth was almost seething, madness running in her eyes like a wild animal as she stood with crossed arms.

“What the hell are you doing?” 

Her sharp tone caused you to falter back as you frowned.

What you were doing? Trying to freaking survive.

“I’m just—dancing.” You uttered out.

For some reason, your confidence came back while she stood in front of you. Growing a bit taller, you cleared your throat, staring her down as she was doing with you.

“Dancing?” Her lips opened in a smile. But not a good smile. She jutted out her hip, one eyebrow raising at you in challenge as her tongue ran over her teeth. “If you danced like that with everyone, we would have a newborn epidemic.”

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor before you could quickly compose yourself. So, now, it was your fault? You did not even want to go with Lara in the first place.

Your expression switched into frustration almost in a second as you glared at your ex.

“And why do you care? It’s a party, I can do what I want!” Your voice raised, the tone changing to a firm one.

“I care when you try to screw my friends!” She bit back, flinging her arms in the air before pointing at you harshly.

“Oh, really?” You breathed out in a laugh. If she only knew the truth. “You’re so pressed about something you know nothing of.”

Her teeth clenched before grinding tightly.

“Screw you!” She seethed out to you, leaning forward as if the words would hit better like that.

“Not your friends anymore?” Your eyebrow raised as her jaw dropped all the way to the floor. Maybe you were an asshole for that. Or maybe it was payback.

Without another word, you started walking away from the girl as she kept sending you death stares, all the way until you disappeared around the corner.

Well, maybe that was good enough for Sophia’s ‘demon facing’.

It definitely was enough for you.

“Where the hell have you been?!” You hissed out to Sophia even before reaching her.

The girl’s head whipped to you, confusion swirling in her eyes as her brows scrunched at you. There was something in her eyes. Something weird and unreadable.

Unfamiliar.

“At the party?” She said cockily, quickly composing herself, and chuckling at you. 

Something was off with her right now. She was acting strange. But you did not have time for it. If there was a problem, she would tell you. She always did.

“Is it Lara?” 

Her head immediately tilted with an incredulous expression.

“Huh?”

“The girl with a crush, it’s Lara, yes?” Your clarification did not seem to help much as she just kept staring at you with an open mouth. “She just pulled me to the middle of the room, then started grinding on me like hell.”

Sophia’s eyes widened as a glint flashed in her brown irises. Quickly shaking her head, it was gone before you could figure out what it could be.

“Well, how did that go?” She asked, a bit of anxiety showing in her movements.

This was not normal.

Your eyebrows furrowed at her. 

“Like shit, I wanted the ground to swallow me. I ran away and then argued with Daniela.” Her face faltered, a bit of disappointment and annoyance making their way in. “And what is with you? Why are you acting so weird?”

“I’m not!” She quickly denied, standing straighter. “Listen, I gotta go—pee.” She stuttered out at the end as if she just came up with it. “You just—chill, okay? It’s a goddamn party.” Her arms flew in the air as she sent you a stern look.

Like a mother who was scolding you. But in this situation, it was for not being wild enough.

And just like that, she brushed past you as her lips locked tightly together, leaving you alone once again.

But not before you turned around, catching how Manon went in the same direction a few seconds later.

What the hell were they doing?

The things calmed down a bit. You found a calmer room where a few people were sitting on the couch and talking. You knew them in passing and really did not want to go back to the wildness of the main room, so you sat on the free armchair.

You talked with people for a bit, finally feeling at peace. No anxiety. No stress. Only rest. 

“Here you are, cutie.” There was no more rest left for you when Lara’s voice reached your ears, making you choke on soda. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Your eyes were wide, fear hiding behind them as you tried to stay composed. But it all went out of the window when she invited herself to sit on your lap.

Her arms draped over your shoulders, her body pushing against your front as she hugged herself closer.

“I—uh—” You tried to move up the armchair, your body going stiff like a stone, but the girl would not move an inch.

“It’s okay, I get it.” She did? You did not think so. She would not be using you as a chair if she did. “You’re shy.” 

Oh, that was not the problem.

The actual problem just entered the room, causing your eyes to almost fall out of their sockets as you felt mortified.

You felt like in danger.

Probably because you were in danger.

It was written all over Daniela’s face. Her eyes burned like fire when they stopped on you.

On Lara. Sitting on your lap. In the most claiming way ever. 

You could see steam coming out of the Latina’s ears at the sight that welcomed her into this peaceful area that quickly turned into a battlefield for you.

“But don’t worry.” Lara continued, clearly oblivious to the threat that started coming her way.

And yours, unfortunately, too.

“I know how to loosen you up.” Your body could convulse when her hand started sliding up from your chest, slowly making its way down your stomach.

But you just stayed frozen. Frozen because you did not want her to think there was a chance for anything with you. 

On the other hand, however, Daniela’s furious face sparked something in you. Fear, undoubtedly, when her murder-filled gaze did not falter even for a second as she walked to the two of you.

But there was something else. Satisfaction.

Finally, it was your turn to have the upper hand for the first time in months.

“Excuse me.” Your ex said in the sweetest tone ever, gaining Lara’s attention as the girl looked up. “I need to steal her for a second.” The innocent smile stayed there a while longer before she basically shoved the other girl off your lap.

She quickly, and harshly, grabbed your hand in a vice-like grip. Before you knew it, your legs were running after her, being dragged out of the room and into the hallway.

“What are you—” The question was cut off as you tripped over a glass bottle. She did not falter, she did not stop. “Daniela.”

The call of her name did nothing as she seemed adamant to keep staring and walking ahead.

Eventually, she pushed a door to one of the rooms open. Stepping in first, she pulled on your arm strongly enough to make your body jolt forward.

It felt like kidnapping, to be honest. When you turned around just as she slammed the door shut, you wished you could be getting kidnapped by someone else.

Because the fire in her eyes made you terrified.

“W-what’s going—” Her scoff cut you off as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Did you come here to ruin my night or what?” Her harsh words cut through the distance between you both.

Ruin her night? Like you had nothing better to do in your life.

“Oh, please, I don’t even want to be here.”

“Good, because you weren’t even invited.” She quickly retaliated.

But your head tilted in puzzlement at the statement.

“You literally invited me earlier today.” Was she drunk or something? How could she not remember it?

“Manon said it would be a good idea.” Huh? “I went along with it only because I didn’t think you’d actually come here.” And there was her bitchy attitude again.

It made your eyes squint as your jaw clenched.

“I’m here only because Sophia forced me, this party is shit anyway.” You were not about to let her think your presence was an outcome of your own free will.

And you would not let her insult you without saying something back.

“Really?” She asked, her little huff switching into a breathy laugh. “Because you seemed to enjoy yourself more than a little bit.”

“Oh, God.” Your groan made her eye twitch as you looked up. “Are we really doing this again? Why do you even care about what I do?” Your hands flew in the air before dropping at your sides.

Your face was tensed while you stared at Daniela.

“I don’t need to see you walking around and trying to suck my friends’ faces!” She raised her voice, getting more agitated by the second.

“I don’t give a fuck about your friends!” You yelled back.

“Oh, right, because that’s how it looked five minutes ago!” 

She was getting on your nerves. In how many different ways could you say that there was nothing you tried to do with Lara?

“Jesus, Daniela.” Your hands pressed against the sides of your face. “She came to me!” Her eyes went to the ceiling as a dry laugh passed her lips, her tongue running along her teeth again. “You seem to give a lot of shit for someone who broke up with me in the first place.”

“Oh, now, you’re gonna bring this up?!” Her tone went to a higher pitch as her mad eyes bored into you.

“Is it a lie though?!”

“Well, I had a good reason!” Her declaration made your next words halt. “Clearly, you would rather fuck around with Lara than take anything seriously.”

She did not just say that. You had to hear wrong.

“Are you kidding me?!” There was nothing but anger in your voice. “This is exactly the shit that caused problems in our relationship—”

“Of course.” She cut in, shaking her head with a mad grin.

“You never listen to me, you always only yell whatever you think is the truth and curse at me in Spanish.”

This argument is not the first of its kind. You’d had plenty of those back when you had been together.

She’d always assumed things, always created her own version. And no amount of explanation and ‘alibi’ could have helped. Whatever she had thought, it’d had to be true.

“I don’t listen?” 

“Yes!” Your eyes widened as you could not stand this anymore. 

“You’re the one who never let me listen!” What in the reverse psychology was this bullshit? “You always just deny and deny, then walk away instead of talking to me like a normal person!” 

Of course, you would deny something you didn’t do. Who wouldn’t? 

“Because you never do anything besides accusing me and yelling!” This was not going too great, was it? But it also could not be surprising. “I tried to work on things, I wanted us to try, but you preferred a break-up.”

“You think I wanted to break up?!” Her voice went up a note, eyes going wide as she stepped closer. 

“Well, judging by what happened, I’d say yes!” It was a miracle that nobody had come in here yet. Your little yelling match could definitely be heard in the hallway.

Daniela’s eyes faltered, her lips pulling in before she clenched her jaw. Hurt flashed on her expression as she stared at you.

“I have been nothing but miserable ever since we split up!”

Was she though? Because it did not look like it. She seemed perfectly fine, almost as if she was happy you two had ended it.

“Sure.” You chuckled dryly. “All those parties scream how sad you are.”

Her eyes squinted at you as her arms crossed once again.

“Oh, sorry I don’t cope with my emotions by drowning in self-pity like you!” Her hand opened, gesturing to you with all of her fingers.

Well, that was a blow. Definitely a blow of some kind. Probably a brutal kind. 

Because you were rendered speechless.

“I don’t have to listen to this.” You finally snapped out of your shock as you shook your head. “I don’t even know why I’m still here, hoping like an idiot.” You rambled, stepping towards the door with the intention of leaving this room.

Of leaving this damn house. And this damn party.

“Of course, it’s nothing new you leave when things get heated.” Daniela said, turning her body around to face you as your hand reached for the knob.

But it halted, dropping to your side as your head whipped back to the girl.

“I leave? You literally left me, Daniela!” Your arms flew in the air, frustration and hurt taking over you again. “Then proceeded to be quite of an asshole for months.”

“Like you’ve been better.” She shot back. “You’ve been avoiding me since the start, like I’m some plague or disease.” Her voice cracked, eyes slightly glistening over as pain shot through them for a split second.

“What did you want me to do?” It was a genuine question. You had no idea what she expected from you. “I kept my distance since, clearly, you did not want me around.”

“I wanted you to want me!” She said louder, taking a step closer. Maybe on purpose, maybe from all the emotions and movements. “To fight for me!”

“Really?” You said, not fully believing her. Because why should you? Probably because she would never lie to you like that. But your brain was convincing you it was all just an excuse.

“Yes!” She exclaimed. “I was tired of arguing, I was tired of unfinished conversations. I thought breaking up would finally change something!”

Was it really how she felt? Was it actually the reason? Your heart squeezed at the possibility. This whole time, you were looking at everything only from your perspective.

How she’d seemed emotional, self-centered, dramatic.

It never occurred to you that your responses hadn’t been enough. That they had revolved around you defending yourself instead of giving her more insight into a situation.

Your throat tightened, the guilt creeping into your chest like venom.

“Do you still want me to want you?” You asked her, calming down and lowering your tone.

Everything in you was buzzing. Everything was screaming for her to say this word. This one word that you had wanted to hear ever since you two had ended.

Her brows furrowed at you, her head shaking as she closed her eyes for a split second.

“Why does it matter—”

“Do you still want me to want you, Daniela?!” You repeated louder, firmer.

“Yes!” Her tone matched yours. “I do, I want you to want me!”

Your head lunged forward, one hand going to the back of her neck as your lips smashed against hers.

You felt her body stiffen for a split second—probably in surprise—before she reciprocated, moving her mouth with yours.

It felt relieving. To have her like this again.

To have her lips on yours. To feel their softness and warmth. To feel her hands sneaking around your stomach as she fisted your shirt at the sides.

How her head would move forward, chasing you adamantly to prevent any possible distance from being created.

But her mouth moved away, planting her forehead against yours, and leaving you breathing hot and heavy. Her eyes stayed closed for a while longer before fluttering open.

“Are you drunk?” Her whisper made your heart skip a beat.

It was so soft and gentle. So different from what you had been hearing for the last few months. A smile threatened to spread on your face.

“No.” You denied sincerely. “Did not touch a single drop.”

Her sober eyes were jumping between yours as if she was searching for something. You could not understand what. And when you were about to ask, she dived forward, connecting your lips again as she hungrily moved them against you.

It felt unreal. Like a dream. But you would not be picky. Even if this were a dream, you would take it. 

Because nothing felt better than having her again. Maybe only for now. Maybe for a day. You hoped it would be for years.

And when she switched positions and started pushing you towards her bed, you knew where it was going. You knew even better when her fingers slid down to the hem of your shirt and started pulling it up.

“Shouldn’t we—”

“Fuck it all out and talk tomorrow?” She quickly cut you off, pushing you, and causing you to sit down on the mattress as she swiftly took off her shirt. Her blown pupils were staring at you in hunger. Hunger that had to be satisfied right away. “You tell me.” Her seductive voice sent chills down your spine as you could not stop roaming your eyes over her body. “I would love to listen to you.”

There was definitely drool rolling down the corner of your mouth. Five months later and she still had the same hold of you. She probably would have it forever.

“Sounds great.” You barely let out, completely entranced with her.

You faintly caught the mischievous smirk that spread on her mouth before she sauntered to you like a goddess, straddling your lap as her hands went to the back of your neck.

You were gone. You definitely were. And it would only get worse—and better—for you soon.

“This ride is eighteen plus.” She said lowly, her lips brushing yours in a teasing manner. “Make sure to buckle up, baby.”

That night at the party, it had been a hell of a night. Ended great. Felt great. Changed your mind about going there in the first place.

And about going there? You’d found out why Sophia had been so persistent about it.

Manon and your bestfriend had plotted a scheme to get you and Daniela back together. Which involved Lara. Heavily as you could remember. It had all been an act from her side to make Daniela jealous—which had made you feel relieved in the end.

And the girl with a crush? Sophia had meant Daniela. Your eyes had rolled very hard at the revelation.

According to both girls, they’d been hearing enough of how much you two had missed each other and had spent too much money on ice cream for their respective best friends.

You’d wanted to be mad at Sophia for going behind your back like that. But in the end, it had worked.

It’d been a month since that party. You and Daniela had been doing great. More conversations had helped a lot. You had opened up more and had been trying to answer any questions the way you knew—now—would help your girlfriend—yeah, exactly—understand better and calm down her thoughts.

She had been better about listening to you instead of jumping to conclusions as well. 

Overall. It’d been amazing.

You were waiting for her to join as you sat outside with Sophia and Manon, talking and laughing—mostly those two—about your unlucky adventures during the Swiss girl’s absence.

“Hey, guys!” Lara’s voice sounded in your ears, causing you to look at her before smiling. “How are we all doing?” She asked in a sing-song voice, coming up to the other two, and kissing their cheeks as a greeting.

“Great, we’re reminiscing.” Manon said, throwing you a teasing smirk that you rolled your eyes at.

“More like bullying.” You grumbled as Lara started coming up to greet you as well.

“Back off, Raj.”

A stern voice came from behind you, halting Lara two steps away from you as wavy hair covered your vision when someone flopped down on your lap, getting comfortable.

“You’re not trusted around her yet.” Daniela said, sneaking her arms around your neck as she pressed herself to your front as close as possible.

Her eyes were completely focused on Lara whose mouth spread in an awkward smile, like a child that was just scolded by their mother.

“Your little stunt was too great for your own good.” Your girlfriend added, chuckling a bit as Lara huffed out a laugh.

“Valid.” The taller girl said, nodding slowly with pursed lips as she took a seat not far from you two. “At least, I know I don't have to worry about my acting career.” 

The corner of her mouth curled into a playful smirk, causing Sophia, Manon, and Daniela to laugh as you teasingly rolled your eyes.

“Got them both fooled.” Sophia added, cackling like a mad woman.

She had been making fun of you this entire time. Manon hadn't been better, only playing into your best friend’s shenanigans.

But you did not care. You had Daniela back. Their plan—as stupid as it was—had worked perfectly.

“And in love.” Your eyes snapped up to the Latina who was already staring at you like there was nobody else in the world.

Her whisper and the look on her face made your heart melt.

“You’re so cheesy.” The teasing comment passed your smiling mouth as you gently cupped her cheek before connecting your lips.

Acting tough was for nothing when she had you wrapped around her little finger.

“Ew, leave it for the bedroom!” Sophia’s disgusted voice came through as an empty plastic bottle hit your arm.

“Shut up, Laforteza.”

how can someone who once promised you the world be so calm knowing that you are no longer theirs?

and the worst part? you'd go right back to him at the first opportunity.

because you loved him.

everything had happened too fast. one second you were having a great time with him, cuddled up on his bedroom sofa, and the next he was telling you how he couldn't be with a mudblood.

the moment those words came out of his mouth you froze.

you had confided in him all the bad memories you had of being "a mudblood" as many people say. you didn't know what to say, so he continued.

"i know it's sudden, but i can't let anyone see me with you."

you stared at him in astonishment, and with your breath catching in your throat, you dared to speak

"i can't believe it,... after all this time, what- what changed?"

it would seem like a normal conversation, the two of you together, on the sofa by the crackling fire in the fireplace, but you were tasting the flavor of betrayal at that moment.

"nothing changed. i knew it would have to be this way in the end".

he said, his face devoid of emotion. but his eyes, those eyes you were so in love with, said otherwise.

"is this because of your parents? draco..."

you said his name casually, with a confidence that hurt him in the chest. you were too good for him.

leaving the bitter taste behind, you looked at him tenderly and took his trembling hands in yours.

"you can tell me anything and you know it".

he pulled his hands away and got up from the sofa without even looking at you.

"don't make this about me" he said firmly.

"but i'm trying to help-"

"don't try anything. or being stupid is part of the role of a filthy mudblood?"

ouch

"because that's what you are, a filthy, filthy mudblood. did you seriously think i'd be with someone like you? lower myself to that level? how gullible".

you felt naked, exposed from your soft interior to the rough and cold surroundings.

tears blurred your vision and your breathing caught in a sob.

you snapped out of your thoughts in the blink of an eye. you weren't there. it was over, but the humiliation would never be erased from your memory.

you got up from the table and excused yourself by saying you were going to the bathroom.

a gray pair of eyes followed you all the way until your figure disappeared from sight, hoping you would turn around. draco did not take his eyes off the door of the great dining room. he wanted to do something, but he was chained hand and foot.

he could have everything he wanted, except you. he couldn't defy his father, only humble himself before his orders to leave you, and that hurt him.

in the women's restroom, you let the tears flow, like every day since the last time you spoke.

what hurt the most was your inability to stop loving him. your heart spoke louder than your brain.

hopelessly devoted to him.

𝜗ৎ.ᐟ

so, i changed my username to iris, do u like it?

i hope what i wrote is good, bc i think its horrible.

read u soon.ᐟ

ex!benito who you dated a couple years back, the relationship ended in a messy scandal.

ex!benito who swore publicity would not change him, but was completely different after a couple hits and could never make time for you anymore.

ex!benito who wrote a petty diss track about you soon after, rose to fame after it became viral, and let everyone think you cheated — never correcting the narrative.

ex!benito who sat by as your name got dragged, staying silent.

ex!benito who finds out you’re coming to the same awards event and doesn’t let it shake him.

ex!benito who hasn’t talked about you in over a year.

ex!benito who spots you across the room — you don’t look nervous.

ex!benito who expected anger.

ex!benito who notices you’re no longer wearing his special necklace, not that he was expecting.

ex!benito who almost says hi three times before you walk past him like he’s just another artist.

ex!benito who remembers when you used to wait backstage for him and realizes you won’t wait anymore.

ex!benito who corners you at the bar, pretending it all means nothing to him.

ex!benito who can still read you like a book but suddenly can’t find the right words.

ex!benito who says he was angry.

ex!benito who doesn’t say he was scared of losing relevance, or that the label pushed the narrative because it was good for streams.

ex!benito who finally admits, “i didn’t protect you.”

ex!benito who sees that hurt flicker across your face before you smooth it over.

ex!benito who asks, “do you hate me?”

ex!benito who doesn’t expect you to answer, “no. i just don’t trust you.”

ex!benito who would almost prefer hatred — because he understands trust is harder to win back than love.

ex!benito who goes on stage that night and changes the lines of the diss, replacing the blame with something closer to truth.

ex!benito who doesn’t announce it, but hopes you notice.

ex!benito who sees you watching from the side of the stage.

ex!benito who cries backstage.

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