Our Stories are Worth Telling

rinsing/soaking the rice in plain tap water while I wash/prepare the pot gives me rice water, which I can later on use to water my houseplants, which is good for them and gives me nice and shiny healthy plants!

turning plain rice into delicious rice is easy, the only thing you need to do is to add sauces and seasonings directly into the water while waiting for it to boil, turning plain water into delicious water.

once the water is on a low boil and the lid is on, all I have to do is not fuck with it for 20 minutes. Since I am not capable of leaving the area while the stove is hot nor can I stand still and watch for 20 minutes, I am compelled to wash dishes and clean the kitchen area, turning dirty dishes into clean dishes and dirty kitchen into a clean kitchen.

then I wander off anyway and go water my plants with the rice water, turning unwatered houseplants into watered houseplants.

once the delicious rice is complete, I can eat it, and turn myself from has not eaten dinner into has eaten dinner.

Showrunner's Challenge By Runawaymarbles (also sorta by sprintingowl)

Begin writing a fanfic. It is a feature length television program being watched every week by thousands. There is no plan. The industry is in shambles. The writer's room is barely hanging on.

At the end of each chapter, roll a d12.

1 Everything at once. Roll twice, use both. If you get this again, keep rolling. Your only way out is to stop getting 1s. 2 Product placement! The next chapter must center (and subtly promote the features of) a product belonging to the most recent brand you've seen. 3 Fan favorite. Your most recently mentioned character (or named object) is now beloved by the audience. You must give it a bigger part in the story, a special destiny, or an important new romance or friendship. If you get this twice for the same character or object, the adoration cools and you must go back to treating the character or object normally. 4 Executive meddling. You must change to a different genre. You cannot go back to a genre until you have changed genres three times since then. 5 Audiences are craving more coziness. The next chapter must be completely low stakes and set you at ease. 6 Audiences are craving more suspense. The next chapter must take place entirely in a single location, ideally just a single room, and build tension with every exchange of dialog. 7 Audiences are craving more action. The next chapter needs to involve at least one extended fight scene, and the weapons must be the last three objects mentioned. 8 Audiences are craving more romance. The next chapter needs to involve a deep, sappy confession of either love or admiration between two characters that have not previously been romantically involved. 9 Go to the most recent line in your fic that references a brand. Due to ongoing legal action, that brand cannot be mentioned again, but you score 1 audience point every time you allude to it in a way that paints it in a negative light. 10 The two most recently mentioned characters' actors have, IRL, gone through a VERY messy divorce or friend breakup. You cannot put them in the same scene, but they must both remain relevant parts of the show. If you get this with the same two characters again, they reconcile. 11 The most recent negative event (stabbing, poisoning, banishment to jupiter) is now the center of a very real IRL news story. You must immediately pivot away from all plotlines involving it and, if possible, also find away to apologize for even thinking to include it without breaking character. 12 The most recently mentioned character's actor has decided to leave the show. You must write them out in the next chapter. If you are brave, also roll a d12. 1--6, they were well loved and their sendoff must be as flowery as possible. 7--12, they were despised by the cast and crew. Mulch them.

You win if you can complete the fic in a state of relative coherency.

Alternate Game Mode: TV Digest Version

Don't write full chapters, just summaries of what happens in each chapter.

Alternate Game Mode: Realism Edition

Stomach: hey, what do we have here? Some goddamned lactose!

Small intestine: we don't like lactose here, ya know? You're gatecrashing a very private party!

Large intestine: (pushes him, making him stumble) there's two ways you can leave here... The easy way, or the hard way. What's it gonna be?

Lactose: but I...

Lactase: (deep voice) step back, everyone. (walks up and puts his arm around lactose's shoulders) he's with *me*

Large intestine: lactase?!

Small intestine: b-but you're both...

Lactase: I *said* he's with me. You got a problem with that?

Stomach: (finishes sizing him up) right. Course not. It's cool, lactose. Just don't cause any *problems*, you hear?

Lactose: I-I w-

If you don't run, I'll just tell you, most people's bodies cannot take that kind of abuse. No matter how much you train, you will not be able to run 20k a day. It's like how you can't train to make your cuts heal faster. You recover as fast as you recover. So while a big part of what made this guy so succesful was the dedication and mental toughness needed to actually run 20k a day, an equally big part was that he healed like fucking Wolverine. And that's fine, but it would've been nice if he knew that and stopped telling new guys to commit suicide by jogging.

Different guy on the team ran like, 5-6k a day, which actually isn't all that much. His problem when he gave advice was that he didn't really get that 5-6k a day doesn't generally produce elite results for most people. He was lucky in the sense that he didn't have to work all that hard to get great results, and unlucky in the sense that if he pushed himself much further than that, he fell apart.