tav: Zefira Shadebrook, halfling trickery cleric of Tymora Brandobaris
dark urge: the Dirge of the Living World >> Fennec Dirj, half-elven storm sorcerer and Reject Dark Urge
fanfiction:
"it's a hells of a feeling though": pre-canon though early post-canon AU (Gortash Lives / Lathanderan Gortash) series. Tavtash, Durgetash, and Tavstarion main pairings. please mind the tags but reread the title.
"The Inexplicably Barovian Themed Adventure" (6/??): post-game Spawn Astarion and Tav. Horror, humor, adventure, load-bearing smut.
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Here it is, my deep dive into Gerringothe Thorm, after realising her Grim Visages aren't actually her undead employees and are in fact parts of her psyche! Hovering over the "grim visage" race on their character sheets reveals this:
Grim Visage
These skulls spawned from Gerringothe Thorm's twisted psyche. Manifestations of her worst flaws, they keep the coins of her protective armour intact.
They're also all voiced by Gerringothe's actor, Penelope Rawlins, and I love the various different tones she uses, she has the RANGE.
Anyway, we have the Visage of Obedience, the Visage of Regret, the Visage of Greed, the Visage of Heartlessness, the Visage of Cowardice and the Visage of Guilt.
The Visage of Greed is pretty simple. She wants gold. She's also got the most ambient dialogue--if you've spent much time in the tollhouse, she's the one yelling about how, "I want it back!!" (Gerringothe herself is silent until you get pulled into a cutscene--all ambient dialogue is the visages.)
Look at it. Look at it all. Mine, MINE.
Give me. GIVE ME.
The Visage of Heartless, meanwhile, is the funniest bitch in the game, and I support women's wrongs.
You'll find much of sentimental value among the confiscated goods. That is to say - junk.
People treasure the most insignificant things - pets, children, memories.
(Worth noting, there's a pile of bloodstained pet collars outside the tollhouse, while the Waning Moon has notices up about missing pets. This is fine, probably.)
The others are more interesting! The Visage of Obedience, I still have some questions about--given this one tells you to "report to the tollmaster," this was why I initially thought they were Gerringothe's employees.
Report to the tollmaster. Pay the toll.
No payment, no passage.
But then, speaking to Gerringothe, she's definitely trapped in this mindset that The Toll is what's important--the gold isn't for her, it's for The Toll, she's just Doing Her Job. (She's very much not just doing her job--journal entries and the other visages make clear she went way overboard, and she was planning illegal trade in the tollhouse, but the Visage implies she used this justification for her cruelty.)
The Visage of Regret is my favourite. She also has some of the most to say in ambient dialogue (unless I just spent way too long hanging out near her) and she's so sad.
You should leave now. I should have left when I still could.
So many ships came, so many ships left. And I remained.
The horizon seemed so close. But that was long ago.
She wishes she'd left!! She could have left, she could have had a better life!! Maybe I'm reading too much into things, but I can't help connecting the Gerringothe dreaming of the horizon with the text in the Heavy Book:
On the wall hangs a seaside landscape, which often catches my eye during the course of my work-a-day life. I'm surprised Gerringothe chose such a decoration for her tollhouse; I've never known her as any appreciator of nature, beauty, art... naught but the cold clink of gold. One day, when my days are repaid, I'll travel to the coast, breathe in two deep draughts of air, and forget Reithwin forever.
I've tried to find more about the seaside landscape a few times--my first thought that it was a painting to hide a secret little safe or something--but haven't found anything. I could still be missing something, but honestly, it sounds like Gerringothe also dreamed of getting on a ship and travelling to the coast someday. She could have been more.
The Visage of Cowardice implies Gerringothe didn't support Ketheric in his war--which tracks, as unlike Malus and Thisobald, there's zero signs of her even pretending to care about Shar.
Please understand--I couldn't fight. Couldn't risk losing all this.
Sorry--I had to lock the doors. Had to keep things safe.
I do wonder if the comment about locking the doors was about the Shadow Curse. Did she lock people looking for safety out? Of course she wouldn't have run from the Curse herself, that would mean abandoning the gold.
And finally, we come to the Visage of Guilt, the only Visage you can actually have a conversation with!
Visage of Guilt: Yes. Many died - all for trying to pass. I took too much from them.
1. [Persuasion] If you can tell right from wrong, maybe we can still fix this.
2. [Insight] Perhaps you'd feel less guilty if you paid for your crimes too.
3. People die all the time. Stop being dramatic, and get over it.
Guilt is quite far back into the tollhouse, and it's difficult to get to her without being pulled into a cutscene with Gerringothe, although if you manage to reach her, Gerringothe will no longer pull you into a cutscene at all. At that point, she'll just walk about, ignoring you, unless you click on her. As for the conversation, I managed to get screenshots of two routes.
Visage of Guilt: They gave me what they had. Should I have let them leave?
Antinua: Yes. But I guess you didn't.
Visage of Guilt: No. I thought there might be more to take. Hidden inside.
Visage of Guilt: I opened them. Searched inside them.
Antinua: Why would you do something like that?
Visage of Guilt: Some wouldn't pay their dues. Some couldn't.
Visage of Guilt: They paid a different price in the end.
Antinua: If you can tell right from wrong, maybe we can still fix this.
Charisma (Persusion) Successful
Visage of Guilt: Yes - yes yes. Help me. Make me pay.
Visage of Guilt: They gave me what they had, Should I have let them leave?
Antinua: Who are you talking about?
Visage of Guilt: So many. Too many.
Visage of Guilt: I opened them. Searched inside them.
Antinua: Smart - the most precious things are often hidden deepest.
Visage of Guilt: I thought so too - but I found nothing. And regretted everything.
Antinua: Perhaps you'd feel less guilty if you paid for your crimes too.
Wisdom (Insight) Successful
Visage of Guilt: Yes, yes. I have gold. So much gold. Take it.
Visage of Guilt: Take it all, whatever the cost.
(Guilt also hovers over a couple of skeletons, presumably people Gerringothe cut open looking for gold.)
It was me. It was all me.
As far as I can tell, succeeding in this conversation with the Visage of Guilt doesn't change anything in dialogue with Gerringothe herself. But I do think it provides some more context to the dialogue "win". If you succeed your dialogue checks, whatever you say to Gerringothe, she ends claiming she's paying it back. You can "win" by telling her she's been promoted to a better tollhouse, and she's still reject this, even though it means more gold.
Antinua: You've been promoted! You'll collect gold from a much better tollhouse.
Charisma (Deception) Successful.
Gerringothe Thorm: GOLD. MORE GOLD? I REQUIRE GOLD.
Gerringothe Thorm: NO. I PAY IT BACK!
She lets go, in the end!! She has so many regrets, and she knows her obsession with gold destroyed her. It's honestly tragic that telling her there's still a way to fix this has her ask you to do that by making her pay. But with the Insight check... she wants the gold gone. She's wanted to let it go for a long time. And it's sweet that she gets to do that, in the end.
I didn't realise she had tear stains on her face until today. Her greed caused so much suffering, but in the end, she just wants to pay it back.
Remember when Lil Nas X beautifully explored his sexuality, seduced and killed the devil to the banger of all time, and instead of cheering on this openly gay and proud Black artist for his artistry and fighting back against respectability politics, suddenly said respectability politics was all the Queerest Place on the Internet cared about? Hm. Wonder what happened there.
Anyway I miss him and hope he's doing better with his mental health ππΎ
Like say what you want about "bad queer representation", but this was the song that made me openly and happily accept that I was bisexual. To see him up there Black and beautiful, making music that I love, absolutely killing it? Yeah. You couldn't tell me shit. This man made me proud to be out. "This will make them think we're evil for being gay" hey newsflash dawg-
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like theyβre gone. itβs the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.
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Something I really want people to understand about the whole sanitisation of the internet thing is that these companies (and also governments sucking the dick of authoritarianism) arenβt just censoring like porn or body horror or gore or like drug use etc. Theyβre age restricting content and language that wouldnβt even be out of place in a doctorβs office, a national health service healthcare advice page, or a PG 13 movie!
Orβ¦ a video game actually, aimed at kids. In fact, I even have real actual proof for that last example. Itβs what sparked me to write this post.
And I really need people who actually believe that these controlling systems of censorship and surveillance that are being put in place to βprotectβ children and teens to see this crash out and really truly read all of it! Please! Because you all seriously need to know how ridiculous this is getting and what these systems actually do! And if anyone wants to add more examples of this in a reblog chain then please do! The more evidence showcasing this bullshit the better!
So, last night on Bluesky I came across a screenshot of a game I play, a first party Nintendo game to be specific. The screenshot was marked as βexplicit contentβ by the BlueSky moderation team, not the postβs author. If I was not using a VPN set to Ireland, I would not have been able to see the post at all! All because I live in Scotland, which is now eternally handcuffed to England via a fucking bear trap. And the day I hand over my passport to a social media company or let their dodgy βaiβ phrenology bot scan my face, will be a freezing cold day in Thatcherβs personal circle of hell.
So, whatβs wrong with the screenshot? Did someone mod the game? Did someone make like idk pixel art in it or something? No. It is a normal screenshot of vanilla gameplay that happened to include a depiction of a penis. Content that is actually in the game in fact. Knowing that now you might say βwell okay, but thatβs genitalia and nudity! So of course it got flagged.β But now you might be wondering what 1st party Nintendo game would have a depiction of a penis in it that is accurate enough to be flagged by an auto moderator? Well Iβll show you! It put it under the read more so I wouldnβt spoil you! I bet the suspense is killing you! Go take a look :)
(Mild edit, I decided to censor the pfp and name of the OP of the post to protect their identity, I completely forgot to do that)
Well here it is! Hereβs the offending screenshot that is tainting and ruining the Innocence and Pure Souls of The Children! Take a good long look at it! :)
β¦
Thatβs fucking ANIMAL CROSSING!
Thatβs Animal Crossing! One of the most kid-friendly games I can think of! Thatβs Mineru looking at the Statue of David in Animal Crossing: New Horizons! That is vanilla content, itβs in the actual base game! It is not modded! It was willingly put there by Nintendo because itβs a real fucking art piece that anyone of any age can see in the Galleria dell'Accademia di Firenze (Academic Gallery of Florence) in Italy!
Like oh my fucking stars, I am climbing the damn walls! I am officially losing my collective shit over this!
I donβt care that itβs clearly a false-flag and it happens all of the time! Thatβs not good enough.
If an auto-moderator false flagging benign bullshit as being βexplicit contentβ and blocking certain people from seeing it, to the point where itβs just considered to be a given that itβs going to fuck up constantly, then I consider that to be a feature, not a bug! Like part of the problem IS that the auto moderator bot canβt understand context, and the companies who run these sites know that and they donβt care!
Itβs not just annoying and a bit embarrassing for BlueSky, a lot of independent creators and self-employed people rely on social media for a living, when their posts get false flagged it drastically reduces how much reach they get in a heavily oversaturated, competitive market! And as I said before: I cannot see posts like this if I donβt use a VPN (which might quickly cease to even become an option), hand over my fucking passport or try to trick the phrenology bot because I do not look like I am in my mid 20βs!
And I can foresee this quickly becoming the reality of basically everyone online in the next few years if not next few months if people donβt fight tooth and nail right now to push back against this bullshit, to protect the autonomy of ALL people online. And yes, that includes kids and teens!I donβt care how annoying or inherently stupid you think they are, they deserve autonomy, agency, the dignity of risk and to have full control over their online experience as much as the rest of us do because theyβre people! And prohibition has literally never worked to βhelpβ anyone!
I could talk so much more about this but this post is long enough, apologies! I never intended to yap this much, but here we are. I have a lot of thoughts about this, and Iβm very nervous to share them but idk I thought this was important enough to risk any potential backlash that might reach my inbox.
If you could have one Shakespeare play done by the Muppets what would it be?
obviously a Midsummer Night's Dream, can you imagine? Kermit as Oberon, Miss Piggy as Titania, the non-fae characters are played by the only humans, when Bottom is transformed he physically becomes a muppet, Puck is naturally Gonzo with bonus Rizzo
[Video description: Gritty is turning the crank on a flagpole to raise the Progress Pride Flag. He gesticulates angrily that the flag is not blowing in the wind, then gestures offscreen. The flag begins blowing. As Gritty begins raising the flag more, the camera pans out to show a man in a suit and sunglasses, looking like a stern Secret Service agent, is holding a leafblower that points at the flag. End description.]
"I know you look at me with my own dark eyes and bare your teeth in disgust. Father is within our blood and bone, Father's gift granted us life, Father is all that we desire.
"Do all that you must. Partner with Gortash and do not let Orin stray far from your side. Through frozen wastes and gore-wrought caverns, your unyielding drive will bring about a crisis that shall change the planes. There is a future that has other colors than crimson and bone, other scents than metal and putrescence. I trust you to bring us there. You already have.
"Also, halflings go well with fresh thyme. You'll know you've found an ally when they correct you on how to season them."
the bigender misery of not being able to talk about your masculine or feminine urges and how you feel urges to do the same thing but flavored different ways, because gender essentialists have utterly poisoned the field
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1. What's your oc's gender identity? What's their relationship to their gender?
2. What's your oc's orientation? (Romantic/sexual/platonic alterous ect) Do they have opinions about it?
3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?
4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?
5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?
6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?
7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?
8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?
9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?
10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?
11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?
12. Does/did your oc ever wish they could change the way they are? Why? If it's in the past, how did they get over the feeling? (this can be about internalized homo/transphobia)
13. Would your oc be open to a poly relationship? Why or why not?
[Not aimed at a specific character] / [Aimed at creator]
14. Do you have ocs on the aro or ace spectrum?
15. Do any of your ocs use neopronouns? Which ones?
16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?
17. Do you share identity with any of your ocs? Which ones?
18. Do you prefer to give your ocs specific labels, or keep it unspecified? Why? If applicable, do you change their labels depending on circumstance?
19. Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story?
20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?
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