yanwang dijun simp

i went to a store once that had this (i think a cvs in boston) and i spent way too long trying to figure out why some boxes of tylenol were locked up and others weren't (it didn't seem to have anything to do with either price or ingredients...)

impressive! it's ugly, impractical, gets water everywhere, makes too much noise, and the quote with shit kerning and a worse typeface says you don't think music is even real

Has anyone else noticed recently that when you press the 🅐 Button while in the air you can hardly find the strength to do a Double Jump anymore? Go ahead and try if you want, but it won't work.

Nothing's been the same since she... fuck... I'm sorry... since she... since she left this world. If only I'd remembered that holding and releasing the 🅑 Button would've allowed me perform a powerful Spin Attack. If I hadn't forgotten, she might still be here today. Shit... fuck... I can't handle this anymore, I'm sorry.

There's a Save Point over there. They say if you stand on it and press 🅧 you can save your game. But can any of us really be saved? I don't think so. Not after everything we've done.

Press the 🅜 Button to undo the damage from this War. Oh? There's no 🅜 Button on your Controller? Funny that.

[Seducing You] I made pasta.

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

Lincoln Lincoln

even in "self-insert" games, i like to give the protagonist their own personality because i don't like to play me

everything is about The Character except The Character who is about grief

Frankly I think a lot of Tumblr users think there is no overlap between trans women and gay men like there is between trans men and lesbians 1. because RuPaul did a great job intentionally convincing at least two generations of baby queers that gay men and trans women don't share culture because he's a transmisogynist piece of shit who intentionally kept trans women off Drag Race for years - shattering the perception of our community overlap in the eyes of the mainstream, 1.5. and that culture he cultivated in the mainstream made you afraid of drag as an art so you're uncurious about it, and 2. you're afraid of learning about balls because they're not sanitized white queer culture.

Once upon a time a huge proportion of trans women came out from the gay community. My trans mentor was one such person. It was a core part of our history, one of the only communities where we could experiment without (much) fear. Trans women who still ID as gay (for men) fucking exist, just like trans men who still ID as lesbians. It’s pretty normal to want to keep IDing with the community which gave you your life and stay part of it. Transitioning shouldn’t mean giving up that community, and the expectation that we should is transphobia.

me: *Closes three tabs of Wikipedia and nine of Mirriam-Webster* i can finally finish writing that tumblr post

Fork found in Bathroom #Mystery #Unexplained

only time i will endorse putting hypermodern memes/slang/references into historical adaptation stuff is with shakespeare. so many of his jokes are his contemporary equivalent of that anyway. he would have loved secret third thing. he would have loved counting or not counting gang violence