welcome to my bag full of wimps and klutzes

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

When I started reading Butter by Asako Yuzuki, I thought it was gonna be a dark social commentary that ended with murder—and instead I got such a personal, emotional story about realizing your own self-worth, absolving yourself of guilt and shame, refusing to let toxic people ruin your life, and healing yourself by reaching out and sharing genuine moments with the people around you. I 😭😭😭 oh my god. It is fantastic. It’s about connecting with others through food it’s about how everyone gets so wrapped up in society and standards and what we hate that we lose sight of genuine moments and true friends and what we love it’s it’s it’s it’s just SO GOOD—

a baby at work the other day gave me the meanest look i've ever seen as it got lifted out of a cesarean. 1 second old and already hating. you can't teach that.

I appreciate the way hitting the word "cesarean" forces me to go back and reevaluate the earlier phrase "at work"

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

Solid medications (pills) really do be coming in two varieties - edible plastic, and smarties (derogatory)

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

It is possible to make the lead in a Stephen king adaptation a plus sized actor (e.g. the long walk). It can just never be a female character where it's a massive part of the book that she's not conventionally attractive (e.g. Carrie)

The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable