Hot take but I really do think that some of y’all need to consider how/why/when/how often you’re making fun of straight people for being straight
I do it too, I’m not going to pretend I don’t make jokes about the hets, or the down with cis bus, or whatever
But I recently befriended a cis, straight dude and I have watched him be dismissed, degraded, and unambiguously insulted for the perceived “crime” of being straight — all in queer environments where he is allegedly “completely welcome” and surrounded by “friends”
This guy is not a toxic person! But I have seen him be made to feel so small and like his comfort and safety in those spaces are conditional on his silence and acceptance of being treated like a human dunk zone, and I think that some of y’all have had so much shit from straight/cis people that the second you feel like you’ve got an inch, you want to luxuriate in the perceived catharsis of bullying someone who— actually —doesn’t deserve it
And until he very, very carefully mentioned to me in private that it makes him feel bad, I didn’t even clock that I was involved in doing that, that it had become so instinctive for me to make casual jokes like that, and that— well meaning or otherwise —I had been contributing to an environment that made someone I really really like feel like shit
So, I dunno, I think maybe some of y’all should think about that too
Coming back to say that while a lot of the responses to this post have been mainly positive, some folks have an attitude that it should be something that my friend— or any cis, straight man —should just be able to get over, because fuck ‘em, that’s why, because they’re in a queer space and they should shut up and accept it, because you suffer as a queer person and they should have to suffer too— regardless of whether or not this specific person has done anything to wrong you
I’m gonna say this point blank— you’re a tar pit if you think this way
Your suffering does not make you special, you are not granted brand new permissions to be belligerent and cruel because you have been treated poorly, straight people aren’t an oppressed class, no, but they’re people who are entitled to the same amount of basic decency that you, yourself, are entitled to
It feels good when you’ve been treated like shit to then go forward and treat other people like shit. That’s what you’re admitting. Does it make you feel good to do harm? Are you proud of that? Are you comfortable with being that kind of person? Because I dunno about the rest of you— but I realized I wasn’t, and it turns out it’s pretty fucking easy to change
"It feels good when you’ve been treated like shit to then go forward and treat other people like shit. That’s what you’re admitting. Does it make you feel good to do harm? Are you proud of that? Are you comfortable with being that kind of person? Because I dunno about the rest of you— but I realized I wasn’t, and it turns out it’s pretty fucking easy to change"
This is so damn true it hurts. Not just with towards cishet people either. But anyone. It's so freaking common everywhere aswell.
I will admit I cyberbullied someone for a short time because they hurt me. I'm not proud of it, and I realised that it wasn't ok quite quickly. I certainly wasn't happy with who it made me at the time. Yes, I was hurt, but It isn't justifiable, nor does it give anyone a "get out of jail free card" because someone hurt you/someone you care about. I did stop, thankfully. Just wished I had never done it in the first place.
People will hurt you. People will always hate you over something you can't control. But that never gives anyone the right to be cruel back. especially to a random party/person who just happens to be linked to a certain group. If you have done this, you can stop this behaviour. You can stop at any time.
Ps. I am not talking about when defending oneself/others or privately talking about someone who has hurt you etc. Thats important, you shouldnt be anyone's "punching bag." I'm talking about the other times.
A lot of people online and real life are doing this. Whether it be towards cishet or others. That doesn't mean that it's fine though.
Tldr: You do not get permission to be hateful because a group/person was hateful to you. If you do/have done this, you can stop at any time.
