[cool, funny title here]

i want to be a vampire so bad. it would open up a whole new world of procrastination. puts off finishing a novel for 100 years. i don’t do the dishes for 20. oh wait i don’t have dishes because i suck blood. another fucking win

damn i wish u guys could read this fic i haven't written and this fic i haven't finished writing and this fic i'm putting off outlining and this fic i outlined but haven't started and this fic i'll never write and this other fic i haven't written and this fic that exists only in vague impressions in my head that fall apart every time i try to commit them to the page and th

piss poor reading comprehension???? simply drink water and you will have an abundance of piss

piss rich reading comprehension

I'm flattered you say we piss on the rich

just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said “young lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.” what an electrifying way of speaking…

I love when you recognize junji ito’s style and you read on not knowing if it’s going to be horrific or just cute cat stuff

After I came out as an adult to my childhood best friend, he went back to his family and told them and then when we next spoke he said, ‘we’ve decided this is a good move for you.’

Companies deleting media you've literally purchased is 1000x more realistically "stealing" than digital piracy, you cannot change my mind