what happens in your head also happens

You have to pee in the shower to get into heaven

Wish I could use Dutch here more often. 'Act normal' does NOT have the same energy as 'doe normaal' and there's not a single translation that does have the right energy. But often I do think Doe Normaal Gast when I'm scrolling Tumblr.

sometimes someone I follow falls victim to severe Character delirium to the point where they stop even saying the character's name and just refer to them by an epithet like some kind of malevolent entity whom they don't wish to accidentally summon, so if the sickness sets in quickly enough and I don't pay close attention for a week I'm just Never going to figure Who this bastard haunting my friend Actually Is. and I'll spend months scrolling my dash occasionally seeing appeals to "that fucking horse" or "my evil grub."

Absolutely fine until I remember that in Batman: Arkham knight during the joker infected mission if you try to run past the first Jason hallucination and open the door to the joker infected, Bruce will say “I can’t leave Jason” in the most devastating tone of voice you have ever heard

@eugenieedanglars

my super sustainable bmw

things used to be $5

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

They evolved to handle different prey. the larger crusher claw cracks open ahrder prey like a molar tooth, whilst the smaller pincer claw rips apart soft prey similar to an incisor tooth.

theyre lobsided

oh I see! yay!

Young Justice '98 is wild. Boob joke! The ending of classic children's movie Air Bud (1997) but with a car instead of a dog! An out-of-options suburban father shoots his 17 year old son because he's terrified of any harm coming to his wife! Sick pop culture reference! A local PTA hires the team to throw a safe, substance-free party! Superboy is unable to age and it terrifies him utterly when he thinks about all his friends aging and then dying and leaving him all alone! 70's disco hell!

👹 yo bro 👋 come over here 👋 come over here check out my new shoes they’re the 👹 BRAND NEW ☺️ oooone twoo~ buckle my shoooooe~ 🤗 threee four~ buckle some mooooore~ 😇 fiiiive six, nike kicks! 👹 OOHOOHOOHOO that is so FIRE! 🧍🏼‍♂️ ahahahaha