Thang

what is the code entomologists use for “i stepped on it, i’m so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small”

“Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions.”

‘impromptu dissection’ is an alarming phrase in any context and i thank you for it

What’s biologist for “the little fucker BIT me and I yote it into the undergrowth on reflex”?

“Specimen was removed from the study pool due to abnormal interaction responses”

I am reblogging this 98% for the second to last comment holy shit I’m fucking choking

I’m enjoying the tags/replies discussing the proper conjugation of “to yeet.” I am in favor of the decision that the future perfect is “will have yitten.”

I damn near suffocated while reading this. There were tears and I’m hoping I didn’t wake anyone up.

i’ve still managed to avoid physically crying over avatar so far, but a bitch may have sniffled over “leaves from the vine”

i like the unstated but heavily implied fact that there is metaphysical or mental crying, that is an option. because like. been there. 

A person who can befriend people of any political ideology is someone to avoid.

And they’re so smug about it too. That just means you stand for nothing. That’s nothing to be proud of.

“centrists”, more like spineless cowards

Jokes on you guys, my ADHD was too strong to do homework and be considered “gifted & talented”, so I get to be depressed without being good at crossword puzzles 😎

I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior.  I had a real sword with me, too.  I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion.  Some woman walks by, with her little girl.  The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight.  But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.”  You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?”    And the girl looked around and saw me.  I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood.  So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?”  And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating.  Like she thinks I’m going to say no.  So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her.  And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.”  I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.

This post was good but then it got better

OH MY GOD IT’S BACK YES

This has improved since last I reblogged.

I taught karate for like 5 years, and the girls were always, pound for pound, better than the boys. Even the girls who didn’t really want to do it and were only there because their parents made them were better than like 95% of the boys.

I am not in the habit of reblogging a post and slapping an “it got better” on there BUT I SAY GOTDAMN

That. That is the entire high literature summed up. You just broke all man-written novels

The reason aang and katara are great friends is because they started with a good ice breaker

#the opening line to Sokka’s best man speech at their wedding

did a vampire ghostwrite this?

the secret cheat code for women is realizing you dont have to date men

this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men 

to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men

How do these 😒men 😒 wind up on tumblr dot com. like, why are they here. all they seem to do is complain about how wiggling their way into others’ discourse is bad for them. If you hate repressed groups making a space for themselves, then leave. You’ll be less annoyed about it.

ever notice how men criticize games like animal crossing and stardew valley on the basis of “the entire game is just doing tasks” without recognizing that “kill bad guy” is also just a task but violent?

”it’s so boring all you do is talk to people and do tasks so you can buy new things” yeah and all you do is press a bunch of buttons to kill people so you can buy new things? perish

my activity page has not known peace since i made this post i have hundreds of insufferable gamers crawling up my pant legs now but luckily i have a secret up my sleeve… i too am a gamer man. im immune to the gamer venom   

This has the same energy as that post that’s “Red Dead Redemption is just Barbie’s Horse Adventure with violence”.