Enemies to lovers but actually unhinged!!!
⢠"I don't like you." - "You baked me cookies." - "They're poison cookies." - "They're snickerdoodles." - "Poison snickerdoodles." - "You've had four." - "Building immunity."
⢠"Stop being nice to me, I have a reputation."
⢠"I've added you to my list." - "Of?" - "People I dislike." - "Am I top five." - "Top three." - "Honestly where I want to be."
⢠"You saved my life." - "Don't make it weird." - "You literally jumped in front of aâ" - "Don't. Make it. Weird."
⢠"I brought you medicine." - "Why." - "Because you're sick." - "Let me be sick in peace." - "You were groaning loud enough for the whole building to hear." - "That's called suffering with flair." - "Take the medicine." - "Fine. This changes nothing." - "Obviously." - "I still don't like you." - "Mhm." - "Thank you." - "Don't mention it. Literally ever."
⢠"You laughed at my joke." - "I did not." - "You did, I heard it." - "That was a cough." - "For three seconds?" - "I have a long cough." - "You're the worst liar I've ever met." - "I hate you." - "You literally just laughed again." - "COUGH."
⢠"We should kiss just to see if it would be as annoying as everything else about you." - "That's the worst proposition I've ever heard." - "Is that a no." - "It's an I'll think about it." - "...okay." - "Okay." - "So." - "So." - "This is still not me liking you." - "Obviously." - "Just to be clear." - "Crystal." - "Okay." - "Yeah." - "Well." - "Yeah."
⢠"Stop looking at me like that." - "Like what." - "Like you've figured something out." - "I have figured something out." - "Well stop."
⢠"My nemesis brought me coffee." - "I'm not your nemesis." - "My nemesis knows my exact order." - "That's called paying attention." - "To your nemesis." - "To someone extremely irritating who I'm forced to spend time with." - "You asked to be partnered with me." - "The point still stands."
⢠"I don't want to like you." - "How's that going." - "Terribly. You?" - "About the same honestly." - "Great." - "Yeah." - "This is a disaster." - "Complete catastrophe." - "So what do we do." - "I have absolutely no idea." - "Cool cool cool."
⢠"You're the most annoying person alive." - "Top five things you've said that sounded like I love you."
⢠"I made you food." - "I'm not eating that." - "Why not." - "Because last week you said you wanted me dead." - "I say a lot of things. I made you soup." - "...is it good." - "Obviously it's good, I made it." - "Fine. This is a ceasefire not a treaty." - "Eat the soup." - "I'm eating it, calm down."
⢠"Why do you always have to be right." - "I don't always have to be." - "And yet." - "It's a gift really." - "It's incredibly annoying is what it is." - "You're smiling." - "I'm grimacing." - "Adorably." - "Take that back." - "Nope."
⢠"You remembered my birthday." - "I remember lots of things." - "You got me a cake." - "Cakes are normal." - "It's my favorite flavor." - "I pay attention." - "To me specifically." - "To lots of people." - "Name one other person whose birthday you remembered this year." - "..." - "That's what I thought." - "This proves nothing." - "It proves everything and you know it."
⢠"I think about you a lot." - "In a I want to destroy you way?" - "Started that way." - "And now." - "Less destroy, moreâI don't know. Different." - "Different." - "Yeah." - "That's terrifying." - "I know." - "I also think about you." - "Yeah?" - "Started the same way." - "And now." - "Also different." - "Huh." - "Yeah." - "So." - "So."