A Song of Smoke and Pizza

But I’m willing to bet that a lot of people with unusual kinks have spent a lot of time analyzing why they’re into something. I know I’ve analyzed my feedism kink backwards and forwards while figuratively tap dancing. I still don’t know exactly why I’m into it. Is it because it’s taboo? That could be part of it.

But at a certain point analysis becomes pointless anxiety and guilt. I do my best to engage in this kink ethically, so at the end of the day, I simply don’t want to waste my energy on analyzing this or my other kinks.

I feel like a lot of the push to analyze kinks comes directly from the belief that kinks need to be justified. Like you need the correct trauma or motivation for it to be acceptable, but that's untrue. You can be into something because you just are.

Back in the spring, I had to leave my job for a severe mental health crisis. It was desperately, desperately needed, and I'm doing much better now.

Thankfully I was covered for 4 of those months by the government - but now it's run out. I'm working my way through applying for disability, but in the meantime, I have 0$ in income.

I'm 300$ (ish) overdrawn in my checking account. My credit cards have been maxed out and I owe them a few hundred, too. Not to mention, my mom's been covering her bills and my bills on her hourly wage job.

We're spread thin - my partner has been a huge help, my mom has been a huge help, my sibling lent me chunks here and there. But we can't keep up much longer.

I'm starting to apply for jobs. In the meantime, I have *7* cats that need feeding - four of which are little 3 week old kittens. We can't relocate mama and her kittens, and I'm running out of food for them all. My last 35$ will be going towards food for my sweet kitties. They need nutrients to grow big and strong!!

So please, *please*, if you have anything to spare - I'm be incredibly grateful if you sent it my way. Even five bucks. Or 1$!! I just gotta keep these sweet kitties afloat til I can generate my own income.

P*yp*l is innalheid ; if you are in Canada and would prefer e-transfer I can give you my email. But any other apps I don't have access to (cuz. canada)

Cat tax: grey in Princess Marbles; black and white tux is Calcifur; all white w heterochromia is Andrea Kitty Antonelli; and her four babies are Inky (black), Blinky (white w black head spots), Pinky (white w black/orange head spots), and Clyde (orange). They are soso sweet and silly and loving!!

Thank you for reading 🥺

FEMA has been forced to transfer employees to ICE mid-hurricane season.

100 Federal Air Marshals are being offered to ICE. 250 IRS agents are detailed to ICE. The Postal Inspection Service too. 2,000 people from the Justice Department - FBI, DEA, etc - and Department of Defense civilians are now being authorised to be transferred, either to ICE or military operations like the border or the occupation of DC.

More than 6,700 personnel have been reassigned to ICE. 80% of the ATF has been ordered to focus on immigration instead of their other work. 24% of the Diplomatic Security Service.

The original push behind naming cultural appropriation and having these conversations were so that we as a society could evaluate why we were punished for our heritage while white People were not. It was supposed to be about seeking solutions. The idea was to create a society where we could celebrate our cultures with impunity. It was never about telling white people that they “weren’t allowed” to do certain things. We did ask that white People stop doing certain things because they weren’t doing them respectfully and were not invited to do them, but the primary reason we asked them to desist was to reclaim the things they had stolen and to reassign them culturally back where they belonged.

White “allies” saw these conversations happening and instead of trying to aplify our own voices or even try to learn about the complexities behind why we were saying what we were saying, they instead began screaming over us and creating a narrative that was hardly even the bones of what we originally set out to say. It was like they took the conversation we were trying to have, completely decontextualized it, and stripped it of all it’s nuance in order to gain social currency by seeming progressive.

So the conversation around cultural appropriation went from “This aspect of our heritage belongs to us and we find it egregious that we are shamed for it. What steps can we take to address the racism that’s creating this situation as well as rehome the things that have been stolen” to “you’re not allowed to do that because if you do that you’re racist, we don’t really understand why that’s racist but you’re not allowed to do that and if you do that you’re a klansman no exceptions. So you’re not allowed because because”

At the end of the day, did I like the fact that sally was wearing dreads? No. But my primary concern was not that sally was wearing dreads but rather that sally could wear dreads and I couldn’t. THAT was the intended focus of those conversations. It was about addressing the inequality. It was about us. Now the conversation is just about sally and were completely forgotten.

the cigarette company is your fucking enemy.

the cigarette company is a soulless corporation that wants you to be hopelessly addicted to a product that does nothing but kill you, but slowly enough that they can wring a meal's worth of money out of you every day that you could have spent on something more vital to your existence and happiness, but you won't, because if you have $10 in your pocket that's cigarette money before it can be anything else.

No one gets anything out of this exchange but some dickweeds getting richer and making you sicker.

I tell this story to everyone who will listen, but I smoked Pall Mall menthols and for a while there I noticed a piece of paper stuck to the back of the pack under the plastic that I kept not reading.

I assumed it would just be like, "cigarettes are addictive and cause cancer" etc etc and that had never deterred me yet so I didn't care. whenever people told me "those'll kill you" I'd do a big sarcastic "oh my god why didn't anyone ever tell me before?!" and take another drag.

One day I read the paper out of boredom. Paraphrased, it basically said "we were caught adding more nicotine to our products for the purpose of getting you more addicted and a judge ordered us to notify you so here you go."

They stuck the glue on the text side and slapped it on the pack so some of the words would rip off if you ever actually read it.

Up to this point the company had been an incidental non-entity in the margins of an exchange between me and the gas station clerk. Suddenly they were a very real player in my life with a vested interest in destroying my health and wallet at the same time until I die.

I felt like the company had just looked me directly in the eye while giving me the finger. They said FUCK YOU, ADDICT, GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY AND THEN PERISH with their entire chest.

And I was paying them over $7 a day to kill me

That's what made me mad enough to quit. And it still took me 2 years to actually achieve it.

I tried EVERYTHING. Nothing could make the cravings go away. Weaning yourself off is a joke, you never get to 0. I had to just stop cold turkey and suffer through it for a few months. And for a lot of that I wanted a cigarette every second of every day, until I didn't anymore.

And the way I managed that was by realizing that buying cigarettes is something I had to actively go out of my way to do, and if I didn't have any cigarettes I couldn't smoke them. Ergo, all I had to do was NOT buy any cigarettes.

It hurt like a motherfucker but it was still immensely easier for me to stay off them when I framed it that way: Making it through another day required me to simply do nothing instead of something. I'll take any excuse to do nothing, most of the time.

- superglue heats up when in contact with fiber, your craft can start smoking or even catch on fire

- you can wash clothing painted with acrylic paint in the washing machine if you turn it inside out and use the lowest temperature

- don't put painted clothes in the dryer.

- you can wash clothes with metal bits in the washing machine but use the handwashing setting, dry the metal bits with a paper towel before hanging them to dry, and know that it WILL be loud

- synthetic dye is needed to dye synthetic fibers and requires a long time simmering in a boiling pot. This WILL stink up the house and you NEVER want to make food in that pot again

- faux leather is vinyl not leather. Get vinyl paint to paint on it

- don't use your teeth as tools, they don't regenerate. Reconstructing enamel costs a small fortune (ask me how I know.)

- when handsewing a lot through thick fabric get thin needles, it will require less force and be less taxing on your wrists. When machine sewing get a higher grade needle (~130 for jean)

- embroidery floss is overpriced and not as strong as it looks. For sewing on heavy stuff get denim thread, it will last forever

- don't feed a 60$ home sewing machine ten layers of denim before you learn how much a servicing fee costs, these things are dellicate

- spray paint is best applied from 30-40cm away, in swift movements. Putting too much or applying from too close will cause drips. You can sand them down and apply a new layer of paint AFTER they dry. Wipe the can nozzle after painting if it's messy, you don't want it to clog and become unusable

- water based markers on fabric will bleed, if not instantly then with time, alcohol markers will fade with time

- most fabric glues are machine washable up to a certain temperature. modgepodge is not waterproof, hitack is handwash only. Check the instructions

- the flatter the surface the easier hot glue will peel off. Faux leather stands no chance, fibers like yarn will hold it best, but is impossible to remove the glue from them in the future

- rivets are a thing that exists, only require a hammer to install and can be used as permanent fabric attachment

- studs, gromets and other metal junk at small fabric stores are laughably overspriced

- acetone (found in nail polish remover) will remove acrylic stains out of furniture, flooring and faux leather, if used in excess can damage the laquer. Can also be used to remove prints and glue off of plastic (do a small test before commiting, might melt the plastic it it's grade is low)

- residue from stickers (and k-tape) can be removed with oil

- acrylic stains cannot be removed out of clothing or carpet so protect your area before painting and don't wear clothes you care about

- if your thread keeps getting tangled or snagging while handsewing try waxing it

- you can lock in screw-in spikes with screw lock glue if you're scared of them falling off because they unscrew

- you can add washers to screw-in spikes if you're scared of them falling through flimsy fabric or too big of a hole

- if you're making anything out of soda cans have a metal file on hand, they are deceptively sharp and will hurt you and rip through fabric you're installing them in

- bleach can be found in mold killing spray (don't touch that shit with bare hands. chemical burn.)

- fabric paints are no different from slightly dilluted acrylic. You can make it yourself by adding a bit of fabric softener to acrylic or honestly even water

- if you are setting anything with an iron use parchment paper or a pressing cloth to pervent your stuff from sticking to your iron and ruining it

- if you want a safety pin somewhere permanently pinch it shut with pliers

- as much as you can, avoid putting glue on clothing, it makes it really hard to change your decisions later on and upcycle the project in the future