Miniskirt, Glass Of Merlot

big shoutout to the gas station near my house which is running a deal on energy drinks and thought the best way to express this on their large LED sign was to make it read BANG MONSTER 2/$5

update: you'll be pleased to know that they rethought their sign and have changed it to read MONSTER BANG 2/$5

Monster bang inflation 😵‍💫

monster bang inflation 🥺🥺🥺

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

would you like to share with the class 🤔

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

would you like to unshare with the class

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

Please respect my privacy

my deepest apologies

I forgive you

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

Being a pervert is so important in a world that is banishing anything sexual out of sight

having VR sex and she's hitting my amazing digital cervix

sorry, I made this joke like two weeks ago. Yeah no we're gonna kill you now. Yep, nothing you can do about it, pack it up

official boob post