Jar Father who Garf in Heaven

As we get more Universes Beyond stuff in Magic: the Gathering I become a little more uncomfortable with the number of children that are now in the game where I can melt your skin off and send you to hell, and then reanimate your corpse to fight for me

I should get a sweater that looks less sophisticated and more slutty. I've earned it.

Does anyone know if you can kinda like. Bite something that's hard and just kinda go crazy on it with braces on. Idk I just need to fucking bite something. But I don't wanna mess up my teeth

I'd hate to become a skeleton and then everyone would be all "oh shit a skeleton they've gotta know something about necromancy" but not me. I'd be forlornly making huge sub sandwiches and then watching them fall out of my ribcage and shit. Fuck I'd hate being a skeleton

Maybe I should get into hats

I ❤️ EATING SHIT + FALLING OFF MY HORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I came out as nonbinary to a coworker today and she said "Yeah, we had this conversation a couple months ago and I thought to myself 'they're just not ready for that yet'"

I'm already unhappy that the next MtG set is Marvel for multiple reasons but the possibility of Literal Actual Nazi Red Skull getting a card is certainly up there

I hate when I'm watching a movie and there's a scene where a bell tolls. Like who is that even for?