The second search result had included the slur "ob*se" in the title of the article.

There are seriously people who tell me fat people aren't oppressed. Meanwhile, trying to find information about how to keep a fat person from drying in a car crash is met with links to products that make dirty money off of how society views my body.

Pelvic bones are strong and sturdy, and you're going to be MUCH less likely to injure internal organs and such when you suddenly slam into a nylon belt"

Text and photos by @thejacespace

And they're absolutely fucked up, and down bad for each other enough that by the time they stop in front of one of the chapels, Shane's like "Hey Rozanooov, wouldn't it be so fucking funny if we got married right now? Can you imagine how everyone would react?"

And Ilya's grinning like "They would be so mad and confused."

And for a moment it's hypothetical, but then Shane's dragging Ilya into the chapel. And if the Elvis impersonator recognises them or their names he doesn't say anything.

And what follows are very drunk but surprisingly sincere vows where Shane talks about how after the last time they were together he thought something was starting between them and it really fucking hurt that Ilya pushed him away in Russia (even though he understands that) then ghosted him for six months. And he's got those big sad almost tears and Ilya immediately puts a hand on his cheek and runs his thumb along his cheekbone.

And then Ilya's vows are about how sorry he is about not speaking to him for six months, he didn't mean to hurt him so badly, how terrified he was being in Russia with Shane, knowing they might both get into trouble if anyone found out about them, then all the stuff with his dad and brother, and also how scared he is that he doesn't feel like he can be casual about Shane anymore. With the basic crux of both sets of vows being that they've just admitted that they're actually falling for each other.

And then as they're signing the paperwork, Ilya has a moment of clarity where he grabs Shane's arm anxiously like "These marriages are not real, yes? We are not going to be actually married?"

And Shane pats his hand reassuringly. "Don't worry, it's only legal for US citiz... citer... cizeti... It's only legal for people from the US. We'll be fiiine."

the game: recommend 5 of your own works and then tag others to do the same!

I'm also going to add a small bit of director's commentary because why not :)

afterglow, heated rivarly - takes place in the 6 months of ghosting in ep. 2 as Shane grapples with what the emotional first time anal meant for him as opposed to Ilya, plus some internalized homophobia and shame. basically me taking that one post that's like "sports rpf needs more internalized homophobia" and applying it to heated rivalry. allegedly there is a sequel in development, fingers crossed

take it good, heated rivalry - situationship era hollanov, probably not too far before the tuna meltdown. Ilya yearns and is in his feelings about Shane somehow being really good at sucking his dick (he's been practicing on his dildo, obviously). I wrote this when I was stuck with the aforementioned afterglow sequel and wanted to try a slightly more minimalistic writing style without the pressure of many rounds of edits

white noise, hockey rpf - my only hrpf thus far, fully influenced by my dear friend introducing me to both mattdrai and the Winner's Room trope 😈 also heavy on the author's not-so-secretly disguised kink in this one oops. I tried to play with the idea of the WR being part of the job in this 'verse in a way that mirrors so much of what athletes do

Be silent in that solitude, hunger games - shout out to Suzanne Collins for writing Sunrise on the Reaping, which was so devastating it made me want to write fic again. really inspired by that part of Mockingjay where Haymitch isn't surprised to learn about Finnick having been trafficked. I'm actually quite proud of this one, even if some of the metaphors are a little heavy-handed

Equilibrium, phantom of the opera/love never dies - jumping back quite a bit for this one, my attempt to get others to join the Meg/Erik agenda with some classic miscommunication and "my feelings are much deeper than the other person, it's just casual for them." lmao I am predictable

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness. 

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like, 

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it. 

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.