A tag team is a kind of dead wife
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@cultivatedwhimsy
A tag team is a kind of dead wife

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Connor Storrie + his septum ring for @hotelstares
+1 a hint of the ring in Heated Rivalry
Im going to hold your hand when I say this. It is not realistic to expect yourself or your family to be able to survive solely off of food you have foraged or grown in a garden. People with more knowledge and experience have tried and failed. What do you think happened to all of those communes in the 60s? Most of them failed. Famine and malnutrition have been constant companions to humanity until industrialized farming and food supply lines came along.
It feels like a uniquely American capitalist take to assume these traditions will make you completely self sufficient. You need a lot of people, a lot of time, a lot of knowledge across a lot of subjects, and a lot of luck to provide for everyone's nutritional needs.
So should you even bother trying to be more self sufficient with your food? I argue yes. Foraging and gardening are fun and will teach you so much about many things. They are deeply rewarding activities that can supplement your diet. There are herbs I haven't bought in years because I grow my own. There are dishes I can only make with foraged ingredients because I can't get them in stores.
You may not have the power to do everything, but that doesn't mean your efforts are wasted. Getting 5% of your nutritional needs from food you have grown or foraged, even for a season, is a massive accomplishment.
It takes approximately 2,000 calories a day to fuel the average human. A family of four needs roughly three million calories in a year. You're not going to get that from a backyard truck garden and a couple of chickens.
But you can get variety, flavor, and vitamins even if the bulk of your calories are coming from somewhere else. And if you grow more of something than you need, it gives you something to trade or gift to other people.
Song of the Night, 2026 by Randy Groden (American); Acrylic on canvas, 16x20 in
my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!
like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao
actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao
this psychic for the rest of his life all because he tried to hit on some dead guy's wife in an elevator
Ghost Dad: WE LITERALLY CHANGED OUR VOWS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T LIKE "TILL DEATH DO US PART"
Psychic: he says you need a real man. a tangible one. a man visible to the average eye.
Psychic: I also choose this guyâs still-alive wife.

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David did not tell Yuna what he saw at the cottage. But, he did come home visibly upset so he had to tell her something.
"Is Shane okay?" Was Yuna's first question.
"Yes," David was quick to reassure her. "He's fine. He's great."
"David," Yuna said worriedly, hand on his bicep. "Is Shane okay?"
"He really is. I promise, sweetheart. I would tell you if he wasn't," David promised her because he would. "But I - he was - he's probably going to be headed over here soon."
"Why?" Yuna started to get more worried, despite her husband's reassurances. "David, what happened? Did you two fight?"
David did interrupt his silent retreat but Yuna couldn't imagine Shane getting into a fight with his father over that.
"No," David caught her eyes. "Do you trust me?"
"Of course."
"Then please don't ask. I saw something I shouldn't have and I - I want it to be Shane's choice if he tells us. I promise you he's safe. We didn't fight. He's - he might be upset with me, but he's okay."
Yuna searched his face for another moment before she slowly nodded.
She had an idea of what David might have seen.
She had considered that Shane's 'silent retreat' might not be the complete truth. She also recognized how upset her husband was at unintentionally learning something about their boy that he wasn't ready to share.
"Okay," Yuna pulled him in for a hug. "I'll make some tea."
"I feel so horrible."
"Shane loves you, he'll understand," Yuna said.
"I hope so," David pulled back. "I can make the tea. Shane will probably want some if he comes over."
He used to make Shane hot chocolate after nightmares, or doctor visits, or difficult practices. When he was a teenager, he started asking for tea instead.
Yuna, sensing David needed something to do, said, "use the new one my aunt sent us. It takes a little longer but I think Shane will like it."
~*~*~
"So, what did you see," Yuna asked her husband as they watched their son and his boyfriend, Ilya Rozanov, drive away.
"I wondered how long it would take for you to ask," David smiled.
"Hush you," Yuna glared. "Like you wouldn't be curious. Unless, god, did you walk in on-"
"No," David stopped her. "They were just walking up from the dock. I would have left but when I noticed it was Rozanov - or Ilya, I mean - I was just frozen there."
"Then how did you know they were, you know, together?"
"Well they kissed on the porch," David winced. "And Ilya..."
"Ilya what?"
"He, uh, had his hand on Shane'sâŚbottom."
Yuna and David stared at each other for a few seconds before Yuna couldn't take it anymore, smile spreading across her face and burst out laughing, hand gripping her husbandâs shirt to hold herself up.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Yuna laughed out.
"Yuna!" David admonished but he was laughing too. He reached out to steady her. "It's not funny!"
"When you put it that - that way!" Yuna tried to gather herself. "Ilya Rozanov. Ilya Rozanov. I can't believe it."
"He's a sweet kid," David was still smiling, thinking about Ilya standing awkwardly by his son, happily eating pasta, saying he'd leave the team that drafted him for their Shane.
Yuna softened. "He really is. He looks so much younger in person."
"Well," David wrapped an arm around her waist. "I think he might be ours now."
A couple months after Ilya left the cottage, he gets a notification on his phone. He thinks itâs Shane, his boyfriend, whoâs been texting with him throughout the day.
Instead, itâs Yuna. But thatâs not what catches his attention - itâs the group chat heâs been added to.
Hollander Family Chat Jane's mama: Hi Lily! Jane: Mom! Lily canât have this chat name on her phone. Janeâs mama: Sorry, honey! Iâll fix it. Janeâs mama changed the group name to: Family â¤ď¸ Family â¤ď¸ Jane: Thatâs better. Just make sure her name is Lily in your phones. Janeâs papa: Done and done, kiddo! Jane: Thank you. Janeâs mama: Anyway, Lily, do you have thanksgiving weekend plans? Because I noticed you and Jane are both free that weekend and I thoughtâŚ
Ilya put his phone down as Yuna detailed their thanksgiving plans. He could not tear up in the Bear's locker room.
He never imagined himself having this, never let himself consider it. Being in a family group chat. Having a family. He was pretty sure he buried that dream with his mama.
But the Hollanders welcomed him so comfortably. Even after he caused their son to lie to them. Even after all the things heâd done. They never even wanted an apology, would probably be confused if he gave one.
Heâs afraid if he moves wrong itâll all disappear.
But he has to respond because he wants to spend with holiday with them so much.
And the texts donât stop there.
Family â¤ď¸ Janeâs mama: Great game today, Lily! What a comeback. Lily: You watched? Janeâs mama: Of course! We watch all your and Shaneâs games. Jane: Jane. Delete that text. Janeâs papa: And if we miss it, I have them on the recorder. Lily: Thank you.
~*~*~
Family â¤ď¸ Janeâs papa: Lily, do you have any allergies? Lily: Russians do not get allergies. Jane: Yes they do and no, dad, Lily does not. Jane: Also, donât mention being Russian.
~*~*~
Family â¤ď¸ Janeâs mama: Lily, could I get the forwarding information for your agent? Jane got a proposal that I think will work out perfectly for you. Jane: Please call about this. Lily: Not only hockey players get proposals maybe I am famous model Jane. Lily. Janeâs papa: You could definitely be a model, kiddo! Lily: Thank you 𼰠Jane why are you unsupportive of your girlfriend. Jane: Boyfriend. Janeâs papa: Now Iâm confused.
~*~*~
Family â¤ď¸ Janeâs mama: I canât believe the ref let Adams get away with that hit! Janeâs papa: . . .
Ilya gripped the phone waiting for Davidâs response. The metros had been obliterated 1-5 and Shane, fresh off a bruised wrist, didnât play his best.
Janeâs papa: Howâs your wrist, son? Jane: Itâs fine. Janeâs papa: Lots of ice and elevation! You played great! Jane: I didnât. Janeâs papa: Youâll get them next time!
Ilya breathed out, shaking his head. Shane didnât know how lucky he was. And Ilya was so grateful he didnât.
Eventually, Ilya even began initiating the conversation.
Family â¤ď¸ Lily: Are you guys coming to MTL / BOS game today? Jane's mama: We are! Jane's papa: I know we can't wear any Boston merch, but we'll be rooting for you! Jane: Dad! Jane's papa: We'll be rooting for both of you! Jane: You can't root for both of us. Jane's mama: No comment. . . . Lily: I was wondering if you all wanted to come to my house after? Lily: After the game, I mean Lily: Only if you want Lily: Or don't have other plans Jane's mama: We would love too! Jane's papa: Need us to pick up anything before we come over? Lily: No, thank you. I have things to make dinner. I will send address. Lily: Thank you. Jane's papa: Of course! Have fun tonight, girls! Jane's mama: Play hard! Love you both. Jane's papa emphasized this message
Ilya could not stop smiling as he got all the ingredients together to make pelmeni. He separated the dough and the meats and sauce into separate little containers so it would be easier to make once the Hollanders arrived after the game.
He imagined doing this for years to come. Maybe when he and Shane had their own home together, making food for his in-laws, for their friends and teammates. Maybe even for their children.
For the first time in a very long time, Ilya couldn't wait for the future.
keke palmer was such a good friend to sza in one of them days even tho everything was kind of her fault. thats why its a love story
and if sza was my best friend i too would forgive her for every stupid thing she does even if it results in life-ruining levels of strife and drama. i would say Sza, its okay. Sza, you didnt mean it. Sza, you are so strong and so beautiful
KEKE PALMER & SZA as DREUX & ALYSSA One of Them Days 2025, dir. Lawrence Lamont
Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.
His brother does.
His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.
He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.
Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.
He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.
One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.
Ilya declines.
After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.
Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.
Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.
Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.
He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.
He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.
One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.
Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.
Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.
But their phone calls are enough.
About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.
He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.
And dearly missing when they end.

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ilya is like 2 speeding tickets away from getting his license revoked so he goes to traffic court to contest and brings marly as his counsel
marly voice ive got good news brotha. i talked them down to 90 days parole.
So just imagine youâre some random OC in the background of Heated Rivalry, and you go up to the rooftop during the MLH awards to have a smoke. Letâs call him Kevin. Kevin plays second violin in the string quartet hired to perform background music during the reception, and Kevin has HAD IT with the snippy cellist who keeps making comments about his intonation. Theyâre not even a real quartet, just thrown together for this gig and if Kevin has to play one more ACDC arrangement heâs going to quit music and work for the phone company with his mom. Benefits. Pension.
ANYWAY. Kevin is up on the rooftop and his lighter isnât working, and out comes some hottish blond guy who starts smoking a cigarette looking over the barrier. Kevin contemplates asking blond guy for a light, but like, what if this guy is up here to off himself? He certainly looks capable, with the way heâs brooding (getting hotter every minute) and puffing that cigarette. But before Kevin can decide out comes another guy, this one with black hair, and this guy is more Kevinâs type so heâs definitely hot, and him and blondie start talking, and Kevin thinks that he better reveal himself now because like, itâll be awkward if they see him staring, but black hair dude is obviously drunk and Kevin ALWAYS gets roped into taking care of the drunk friendâ âSO WHAT THEN?â the black haired guy yells and Kevin goes eeek okay this is a couple queens having a fight probably two of the waiters from the reception Kevin will just make his exit quietly he does not need to get in the middle heâs got his own situationship blowing up his phone that he left in his violin case but then when blondie turns fully he sees that theyâre in real formal wear, not waiter garb and not the shitty Sears tux Kevin wears for gigs. So these queens are having a spat, and Kevin realizes that they HAVE to be players, and now heâs frozen to the spot. âI go home in three days,â blondie says, and Kevin realizes heâs Eastern European, thinks thatâs hot, but then wonders if thatâs problematic to think, but then black hair hottie is holding out a hand for a handshake and Kevin almost laughs like okay gay, but OMG NOW THEYâRE KISSING and Kevin really needs new glasses, was that tongue omgâ âweâre both in tuxedos out in public!â Aww black haired hottieâs voice cracked this is sad they must be like, lower level players or whatever, just glad to be here, struggling with being gay, maybe Kevin should help themâ
âHollander. See you next season.â
Hollander. Hollander. Kevin had been barely listening but isnât that the guy they announced for one of the awards. Shitâ are these queens a big deal?
So later, Kevin goes on Reddit and does a deep dive about Shane Hollander, Canadian phenom, Rookie of the Year, finding one forum where he poses the question. âIs Shane Hollander gay? I think I saw him with some guy!â
And two years later (no phone company, Kevin finally landed a full time orchestra job in LA) he gets ONE lone answer on otherwise deserted forum:
âOh yeah, that was totally Hayden Pike.â
Harris has the idea to make the centaurs try Pilates for a video. Everyone is immediately humbled and going through hell apart from Shane who is having the time of his life.
MyBood is a retired party boy himself, this is why he loves throwing those barbecues as an excuse to get his team together. When Ilya joins the team, they bond over the 2010s party playlists. Fast forward to their cup win, Ilya, Bood, Troy and Wyatt stay with the rookies at the club till four in the morning, because the dj plays the 2010s hits in honour of the OG party boys Ilya and Bood.
What if we stayed in this moment forever. You and me in love by the lake behind my cottage. Where no one in the world could ever find us.

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Truncated text of tweet from MrPitBull, Mar 11, 2026:
She kept finding women in laboratory photographs from the 1800s. Then she read the published papersâand every single woman had vanished. Someone had erased them from history.
Yale University, 1969.
Margaret Rossiter was a graduate student studying the history of science. She was one of very few women in her program.
Every Friday afternoon, students and faculty gathered for beers and informal conversation. One week, Margaret asked a simple question: "Were there ever any women scientists?"
The faculty answered firmly: No.
Someone mentioned Marie Curie. The group dismissed itâher husband Pierre really deserved the credit.
Margaret didn't argue. But she also didn't believe them.
So she started looking.
She found a reference book called "American Men of Science"âessentially a Who's Who of scientific achievement. Despite the title, she was shocked to discover it contained entries about women. Botanists trained at Wellesley. Geologists from Vermont.
There were names. There were credentials. There were careers.
The professors had been wrong.
But Margaret's discovery was just the beginning. Because as she dug deeper into archives across the country, she found something far more disturbing.
Photograph after photograph showed women standing at laboratory benches, working with equipment, listed on research teams.
But when she read the published papers, the award citations, the official historiesâthose same women had disappeared. Their names were missing. Their contributions erased.
It wasn't random. It was systematic.
Women who designed experiments watched male colleagues publish results without giving them credit. Women whose discoveries were assigned to supervisors. Women listed in acknowledgments instead of as authors. Women passed over for awards that went to male collaborators who contributed far less.
Margaret realized she was witnessing a pattern that stretched across centuries.
Women had always been present in science. The record had simply pushed them aside.
She needed a name for what she was documenting.
In the early 1990s, she found it in the work of Matilda Joslyn Gageâa 19th-century suffragist who had written about this exact phenomenon in 1870.
In 1993, Margaret published a paper formally naming it: The Matilda Effect.
The term captured something that had been hidden in plain sight for generations. Once you knew the term, you saw it everywhere.
Her dissertation became a lifelong mission.
For more than 30 years, Margaret researched and wrote her landmark three-volume series: Women Scientists in America. She examined letters, institutional policies, individual careers. She gathered undeniable evidence that women in science had been consistently under-credited and structurally excluded.
Her work faced resistance. Many dismissed women's history as political rather than academic. Others insisted she was exaggerating.
Margaret didn't argue emotionally. She presented data. Documented cases. Patterns repeated across decades and institutions.
Eventually, the evidence became undeniable.
Her research helped restore recognition to scientists who had been erased:
Rosalind Franklin, whose X-ray work revealed DNA's structureâcredit went to Watson and Crick.
Lise Meitner, who explained nuclear fissionâomitted from the Nobel Prize.
Nettie Stevens, who discovered sex chromosomesâreceived little credit.
Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin, who discovered stars are made of hydrogenâinitially dismissed.
And countless others whose names had nearly vanished.
Margaret changed the narrative. Science was no longer just the story of solitary male geniuses. It became a story of collaboration that included women who had been written out.
The Matilda Effect became standard terminology. Scholars used it to examine how credit is assigned, how authors are listed, who receives awards, who gets left out.