Oye

Um actually scrub daddy is my comfort character and it physically and psychically hurts me to see you chop him up and eat him after freezing and cracking him up with liquid nitrogen while naked with big boobs?

Ill be a star

The whole donner party had to split 1 perc

they got trans bitches on here named shit like Die

sie haben trans bitches hier, die haben so beschissene Namen wie The

Nice picture of your dinner. From zooming in on the reflection on the wings of an errant bottlefly I was able to deduce that you were naked when you cooked this. & I can see your giant ugly nipples in the reflection

This has been sent to me four times today, so I'm condemning OP to be judged by the 42 and fall into Nuun.

wait you understand that kinks are ok because they're fantasies that make you happy right? you all get that you don't need to have trauma for your kinks to be okay? right? like none of you think i witnessed a tragic accident on the pool toy assembly line right?

like "some people work through their personal issues with kink" was a good first step for some of the class that were struggling but i think now we're ready for "things that don't hurt anyone and make people happy are okay even if you personally think it's icky"

I took her to the dusty ruins and I freaked it

The straight woman is unsatisfied with straight studio porn. She wants to get off to something in which the actors actually emote and show passion beyond canned moans from the women and, at best, vacant grunts from the men. She turns to gay porn. She knows it's not "for her," but neither was the straight porn, and at least the actors look like they're enjoying themselves. And for a short while she is satiated by Sean Cody et al, but she runs into the same problems she had to begin with. She was not looking at sex but a simulacrum of sex, trapped in Plato's cave. Unsatisfied, she turned to vintage gay porn, harkening to a time when most gay bars still had darkrooms and reliably smelled of piss and Amyl Nitrite. Here was the real thing, in all its animalistic passion. But she still couldn't immerse herself in the fantasy. She wanted the media to engage with her own imagination and meet her half-way, rather than having it spoonfed to her onscreen. She turned to yaoi, with its elongated figures reminiscent of mannerist portraiture, then bara, including hardcore BDSM scenes. But the tactile sensations depicted in the pages didn't do justice to their real life counterparts. She turned deeper into her own imagination, this time reading erotica. No, not the poolside paperbacks sold at Barnes and Noble. The good shit. Why then, was she still not satisfied? She dug deeper, searching for the true meaning of eroticism. She studied the psychoanalysis of Freud, the cultural criticism of Susan Sontag the feminist poetry of Audre Lorde. She took vacation time and flew to Europe, starting at the caves of Lascaux to explore the human urge to create, then traversed the Camino de Santiago on foot, along the way meeting a 56 year old carpenter from Burgos named Andrés, with whom she had an explosive affair. They both knew it couldn't last, which made them cherish each other's touch all the more. Upon flying home, she gave up. If her search for true eroticism never bore fruit this whole time, why would it now? It would take years before she stumbled upon the answer by pure happenstance: dubstep.

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career

I! HATE! BEING! GAY! NONE Of the 50 year old men i sext even ACT like MARIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO FUCKING MAAAAAADDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is my fave post on this whole website

since "cage" is a last name and there are girls named "chastity" it would be theoretically be possible for a girl to be named chastity cage

Wake up babe new Austin Powers girl just dropped

they should have leftist infighting as an event at the next olympics

no the fuck they shouldn't and it's liberals like you that are tearing us apart

holy shit, a gold medalist

Had a dream that Sabrina carpenter died and everyone was super sad about it but, unwilling to be upstaged, taylor swift flew her private jet directly into a block of apartments killing herself and hundreds of innocent people and everyone called it the gay 9/11